


Maybe we should have talked sooner

by cloudyunicorn698



Series: Rizzles "Maybe" Series [1]
Category: Rizzoli & Isles
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Post-Canon Fix-It, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:40:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 58,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26625319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloudyunicorn698/pseuds/cloudyunicorn698
Summary: Post-series. Maura and Jane run into Ian while in Paris. Still keeping their feelings for each other a secret, Maura starts a relationship with Ian while Jane moves to Quantico. Will they ever be honest with each other? Yes - eventual Rizzles.
Relationships: Maura Isles & Jane Rizzoli, Maura Isles/Jane Rizzoli
Series: Rizzles "Maybe" Series [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1936939
Comments: 144
Kudos: 163





	1. Paris

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first attempt at writing fanfiction (I’ve done plenty of reading). I’m going to go more the cliché post-series story route for the first one. If it goes well, I’ll probably try a more original plot for the next story. Also, I don’t own Rizzoli and Isles, any of the characters, or any of the plots referenced from previous episodes. I am not profiting in any way from these stories (except hopefully enjoyment).
> 
> Rizzles endgame, but they will both see others in the meantime. Angst, but no trauma. Rated E for later chapters.

_Jane’s POV_

“Mauraaaa! Where are we going?” Jane whined.

Maura rolled her eyes as she responded, “I promise you will like it, Jane.”

“If I’m still alive when we get there.”

Maura rolled her eyes again. It was true that they had been walking quite a bit today, but she knew Jane was fine and just liked complaining. Maura and Jane had been in Paris for three weeks and only had one week left of their trip. So far the trip had been even better than Maura had imagined when Jane told her that she was coming with her to Paris. They had been able to see so much and Maura had written plenty for her novel, but most importantly, they had been able to spend time together before Jane moved to Virginia – something Maura was still not happy about.

Maura could see the restaurant they were going to up ahead. “It’s just up the block, Jane.”

Jane visibly perked up as she tried to see where they might be going. Despite the fact that Maura had told her she would like it, she was still surprised when Maura stopped in front of The Great Canadian Pub Sports Bar.

“Okay, now I love you, Maura,” Jane said.

Maura laughed. She was also secretly glad it was dusk so that Jane couldn’t see the slight blush that crept up at Jane’s words. “Well, I figured you might miss your so-called ‘normal’ food.”

Jane looked around as they walked in. She was happy to see some American baseball games on the TVs. The Red Sox weren’t currently playing, but she would take what she could get. “Thanks, Maura. I have actually enjoyed the French food more than I had expected, but I do miss my ‘normal’ food. And I _really_ miss baseball!”

Maura laughed again as they were shown to a table with a good view of multiple TVs – Jane, of course, sitting on the side looking at the bar since most of the TVs were behind the bar.

They enjoyed some idle chit-chat as they waited for their waiter. After both of them ordered a bacon cheeseburger, fries, and beer – Maura figured she could indulge since they were on vacation and she had had a salad for lunch – they talked about their favorite parts of their trip so far. Jane, for one, was pretty sure she had enough pictures to fill multiple photo albums, not that she ever actually put photos in albums.

The waiter brought their food. Jane moaned into her first bite, “Oh my God, I did miss American, or I guess Canadian, burgers.”

Maura smiled, “I’m glad you are enjoying your surprise.”

“I really am. I know it’s silly but thank you for doing this for me. I know you would never come here on your own.”

“No, I suppose I would not, but I am enjoying my burger very much, as well,” Maura said.

As they were finishing their meal, Jane made the comment they were both avoiding, “I can’t believe we only have a week left together in Paris.”

Maura immediately sobered. Jane could see the unshed tears in her eyes as Maura responded, “I don’t want to think about that. I know we can’t avoid it forever, but I’d like to avoid it for a bit longer.”

“Okay,” Jane responded quietly. If she was being honest, she wanted to avoid thinking about it as well. Not knowing what to say next, she looked around the bar silently. After staring around aimlessly for a few moments, she noticed someone who reminded her of someone she’d rather not see. Hoping she was wrong, she kept looking back in his direction. Eventually, he looked up and made eye contact. Her face immediately fell as he smiled at her, recognizing her.

Maura, of course, noticed, “Jane, you look like you’ve seen a ghost.” She turned around looking in the direction Jane was staring. Her face broke into a smile as she noticed the man walking towards their table.

When he reached their table, Maura jumped up. She called out to him, “Ian,” before pulling him into a passionate kiss.

Luckily, Maura was too preoccupied to notice Jane’s reaction. Jane felt like crying, but she knew that Maura loved Ian – she had called him the “love of her life.” She wouldn’t ruin this moment for Maura, no matter how she felt.

By the time Maura had turned back to their table, Jane had plastered a smile on her face. “Hi, Ian. It’s been a while.” She held out her hand to shake his. She was disappointed when he sat down next to Maura at their booth.

“How long have you two been in Paris?” Ian asked.

“We’ve been here three weeks,” Maura responded. “Jane is moving to Virginia to be an instructor for the FBI, so we decided to spend a month together in Paris before she left.” She didn’t feel like telling him how she had originally planned the trip to _get over_ Jane and learn how to live without her nor that Jane had surprised her by joining her at the last minute.”

“Wow, congratulations, Jane,” Ian said looking at Jane.

“Thanks. I’m looking forward to not getting shot at on a daily basis,” Jane laughed without much emotion. She felt like she was supposed to say, “I’m looking forward to it” or “to my new job” or “to starting over,” but she would be lying if she said this. She honestly wasn’t sure if she had made the right decision, but she _was_ looking forward to not being shot at.

Ian laughed.

“What are you doing in Paris?” Maura asked Ian. 

“I’m actually trying to figure out what to do next with my life,” Ian responded.

“What do you mean?” Jane questioned.

“It’s a long story, but I’m no longer able to do the work I’ve been doing for so long. I can no longer help bring supplies to people who need them. I’m disappointed, but I am determined to find other ways to help. On the bright side, I’ve been cleared by Interpol.”

“That’s wonderful, Ian. I know what you were doing was technically illegal, but it was so important. Your really didn’t deserve to be charged. I’m sorry you can no longer continue your work, but I’m sure you will find something just as meaningful, if not more meaningful,” Maura told Ian.

“Thanks. I hope so,” Ian responded. Looking around, Ian said, “I think a lot of people are waiting for a table. Do you guys want to move to the bar or find somewhere else to get a drink?”

“I’m actually really tired. Maura made me walk like one hundred miles today,” Jane responded. She saw Maura’s reaction to her comment and knew that Maura wanted to spend more time with Ian. “Maura, you should spend some time with Ian though, if you’re still feeling up to it.”

Maura looked at Jane, “First, that is a gross exaggeration. We did not walk one hundred miles today.”

Jane and Ian both laughed at the fact that Maura just _had_ to point that out.

Trying to read Jane’s face, Maura continued, “Second, I would really like to get a drink with Ian. Are you sure you would be okay with that, Jane?”

“Of course. I’m sure you are sick of me anyway and we still have plenty of time to spend together. Enjoy your evening!”

“I’m not sick of you, Jane,” Maura smiled. “Maybe it’s you that’s sick of me,” Maura started to worry.

“Of course, I’m not sick of you, but I do want you to enjoy your night.”

Maura was still unsure if Jane was actually okay with her going out without her, but in the end, she decided to just take Jane at her word. “Okay, thanks. Ian, I’d love to join you for a drink, but let’s find somewhere a bit quieter.”

Maura paid for their meal and all three walked out of the bar together. Maura turned to Jane, “Are you sure this is okay? Do you know how to get back to the hotel?”

Jane smiled, trying to reassure Maura, “Yes, I’m 100% okay. And while I may act like a child sometimes, I am actually a fully grown adult who can find her hotel, even in a foreign city.”

Maura laughed. Squeezing Jane’s hand, she replied, “Okay, have a good evening and try to relax.”

Jane walked towards the street to hail a cab. When she got back to the hotel, she was feeling extremely grumpy. She could never say it to Maura, but she was not happy about Maura going out with Ian. Not only did she dislike – no, _hate_ – Ian, but she wanted to spend as much time as possible with Maura before she moved. She wanted Maura to be happy though and she knew she was happy around Ian. She also did not want to seem to clingy.

She decided to take a warm bath. Her feet were, in fact, quite sore from all of the walking they had been doing. As she lowered herself into the bath, immediately feeling her muscles relax, she thought back to Maura – not that her mind had actually ever really left Maura. She had known she was in love with Maura for years, but she was also certain that Maura could never feel the same. If she were being honest with herself, this was part of the reason for moving away – she was running away from her feelings – but this was also why she was unsure if she had made the right decision. Even if it hurt to watch Maura date other people, she didn’t really want to leave her. On the other hand, she knew that if she stayed close, it would hurt more once Maura married someone and started a family, once she moved on.

Crawling into bed, her body feeling much better, Jane felt the tears she had been holding back all evening – all month, actually – start to flow. She finally stopped fighting it, burying her face in her pillow as she sobbed. She eventually fell asleep crying before Maura returned to the room.

The next morning, she groaned, realizing she hadn’t closed the blinds. It was early, too early for Jane’s liking. Turning to Maura’s side of the bed, she realized it hadn’t been slept in. This instantly woke her up as she felt the panic rising quickly. Finding her phone, she saw that she had a text from Maura telling her she was staying the night with Ian and would be back before breakfast. Jane’s panic was immediately replaced with a sick feeling. She knew this meant they had had sex – something Jane really did not want to think about – but she also knew this meant that Maura would _talk_ about the sex. Maura really didn’t have a filter. While Jane liked that Maura felt comfortable talking to her, she would really prefer not to hear about her sex life, or at least, not her sex life with other people. Jane groaned again as she tried to stop her brain from going down that road.

Behind her, Jane heard to door open. She turned to see Maura trying to return to their suite without waking Jane. Maura smiled as she noticed that Jane was already awake, “Jane, I didn’t expect you to be up this early.”

Jane returned Maura’s smile, “Yeah, I didn’t plan to be up this early, but I fell asleep early last night without closing the blinds. The sun decided it was time for me to get up.”

“Are you going to try to go back to sleep?” Maura asked.

“No, I don’t think so. We’re you hoping to sleep?”

“No. I’d like to take a shower though. Why don’t I do that. Then we can maybe go out for breakfast?”

“That sounds great, Maura.” I took a bath last night, so I just need to wash my face and brush my teeth, which I can do after your shower.

“Great! That will be lovely,” Maura replied as she walked to the bathroom.

Jane took a deep breath as Maura closed the door. She was feeling better this morning. Seeing Maura smile, especially seeing her smile at her, always made her feel better. She made a promise to herself to not let this ruin her last few days in Paris with Maura.

They had a wonderful day together and ended the day with a movie marathon in their pajamas.

At lunch the next day, Maura received a text. Jane could see the uncomfortable look on Maura’s face, “What is it?”

“Nothing,” Maura responded.

“Yeah, I don’t believe you.”

“It’s just Ian. He wants to meet up again.”

“And that makes you sad?” Jane asked.

“No, I just…” Maura trailed off.

Jane realized that she was uncomfortable because she probably wanted to see Ian again but didn’t want to disappoint Jane. “It’s okay, you know, if you want to see him again.”

Maura looked up. She did want to see him again, but she also wanted to enjoy her time with Jane.

“Maura, it really is okay. Why don’t we spend the day together and you can meet him for a drink after dinner?” Jane suggested. “Unless he already suggested something.”

“No, he just said he wanted to see me again,” Maura said looking Jane directly in the eyes. “I would like to see him again, as well. Would you really be okay with that?”

“Yes, I would really be okay with that. I want you to enjoy yourself.”

“I am enjoying myself with you,” Maura stated.

“I know. I didn’t mean to imply otherwise. I just meant that I know you like Ian and like spending time with him. You don’t get to do that often; you should take the opportunity while you can.”

Finally believing Jane, Maura replied, “Thanks, Jane. Let me see if that works for him.”

So, Jane once again found herself spending the evening alone in their hotel suite. She knew it was her fault. She had _told_ Maura to go. She really did want Maura to enjoy herself. She just had to keep reminding herself that Maura was happy.

Maura was bubbling with happiness when she returned to their suite in the early hours of the morning. She knew she shouldn’t wake Jane up, but she also really wanted to talk to her. She was debating to herself and not paying attention to where she was going. The next thing she knew, she was tripping over Jane’s shoes – loudly.

Jane woke up, “Maura, is that you?”

“Yes, sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you. Although, I somewhat blame you since you left your shoes in the middle of the room.”

Jane laughed sleepily, “Sorry, I meant to move those.”

“Um, Jane, are you going back to sleep or can we talk for a little bit?” Maura asked.

“Of course, we can talk,” Jane said, wondering what Maura wanted to talk about. She seemed happy, so she hoped it wasn’t anything bad.

Maura crawled into the bed, sitting close to Jane. “Ian is moving to Boston!” she squealed.

Jane sat up, feeling distinctly disoriented. She didn’t expect this. “Wow, that’s great,” she said after she realized Maura was waiting for a response.

“I asked him to move in with me. I know it’s fast, but I’ve loved him for a long time. I’m almost 40 and I don’t want to waste more time,” she told Jane as she tried to see Jane’s face. It was too dark, though.

Jane didn’t know what to say, “I guess that makes sense, if you’re sure…” Jane trailed off.

“This way he also has time to figure out what he’s going to do next without having to worry too much about expense.”

“Don’t let him take advantage of you.”

Maura frowned, “I’m not. This was my idea.”

Jane realized Maura really just wanted her approval, not her actual opinion, “Sorry, yeah, that makes sense then.” She knew she was repeating herself, but she really didn’t know what to say.

“Okay, I’m going to go get ready for bed. I just couldn’t wait to tell you. Sorry again for waking you up.”

“Maura, you can always wake me up. I want to know your good news and your bad news.”

Maura smiled, “Goodnight, Jane.”

“Goodnight, Maura.”

“Maybe this means Maura won’t see him for the remainder of their trip,” she hoped as she fell back to sleep quickly.

Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case. The next morning, Maura told Jane she was planning to see Ian again that evening. They were going to have dinner together.

After having dinner alone, Jane couldn’t take it anymore. She pulled out her phone and looked up flights to D.C. and Boston. She knew this was the exact wrong thing to do, but she couldn’t help it. She ended up booking a flight for that night to D.C. She quickly packed up her stuff and wrote a note to Maura:

_Maura,_

_I got a call from the FBI. They need me in Quantico a few days early. I was able to get a flight back to D.C. tonight. I am so sorry I wasn’t able to say goodbye. I didn’t want to ruin your evening by texting you, so I’m leaving a note. I’ll text you when I land and when I get to my apartment. I already miss you._

_< 3 Jane_

She was being a coward and she hated herself for it. She was lying to Maura AND not saying goodbye. She walked out of the suite, getting a taxi to the airport outside the hotel. She didn’t even try to stop the tears as she rode to the airport.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don’t actually know how Interpol works or how being wanted by Interpol works, but I needed Ian to be able to travel to the U.S. for this story to work. Sorry for the cop-out.


	2. New Directions

_Maura’s POV_

Maura struggled to keep her eyes open as she traveled through the streets of Paris back to their hotel. She hadn’t intended to stay the night again with Ian, but things had heated up quickly. Before she knew it, it was the middle of the night and she decided it would be safer to just head back in the morning.

As she relaxed in the back seat of her taxi, her mind returned to Jane. She felt bad for spending so much time away from her the last few days. If she was honest with herself, she would admit that she was trying to avoid Jane. The realization that Jane was actually leaving was really starting to set in and whenever she was with Jane, all she felt like doing was crying. She knew, though, that she would regret missing this time with Jane. As they pulled in front of their hotel, she promised herself that she wouldn’t see Ian again for the remainder of their trip and that she would spend all of their remaining time together.

Maura began mentally planning out what they should do for the rest of their trip as she rode the elevator up to their floor. She needed a shower, but then she would order room service for breakfast for the two of them.

She tried to be as quiet as possible while opening the door not wanting to wake up Jane. She was surprised that the door from the living area to the bedroom was open. When she switched on the main light, she could see that the bed was empty and still made. Frowning, she laid her purse on the counter and headed towards the bedroom. Quickly looking around, she could see that Jane’s things were missing. Feeling tears pricking at her eyes, she searched the rest of their suite for any trace of Jane finally spotting the note on the table.

No longer able to hold her tears, Maura let out a loud sob before running to find her phone. She immediately found Jane’s name and tried calling her, not caring that it was the middle of the night. It went straight to voicemail. Opening up their text conversation, she sent Jane a quick text: **_Jane, please text me as soon as possible. I need to see you before you leave._**

After sending the text, Maura hoped to see the indication that the message was delivered, but it didn’t come. Jane’s phone was off.

Without taking her clothes off, Maura threw herself into the bed and sobbed into the pillow until she fell asleep.

Waking up hours later, Maura felt terrible. Her face and pillowcase were both covered in dry tears and smeared make-up.

She immediately searched for her phone, hoping but not expecting to have heard from Jane. She had a few missed texts from Ian, but nothing from Jane. Checking her text conversation with Jane again, she could see that the message she sent a few hours prior still hadn’t been delivered.

Despite the fact that she wanted to bury herself back in bed, she decided she at least had to take a shower or she would regret it. She turned on the shower before stripping down, leaving her clothes on the floor – something she hadn’t done since she was four. Stepping into the shower, she felt the tears return and didn’t try to stop them.

Just as she was stepping out of the shower, she heard her phone buzz. Nearly slipping in her haste to get to her phone, she pulled herself together and saw that she had received a text from Jane: **_Arrived._ **Maura immediate pressed the call button but was disappointed when it went directly to voicemail. She hung up without leaving a message and threw herself back into bed, this time on Jane’s side, without getting dressed.

* * *

_Jane’s POV_

Jane was exhausted by the time she turned the key to her new apartment. She hadn’t slept at all on the plane, instead beating herself up for lying to Maura and leaving her behind like that.

Between the time change and her weird flight time, it was still early in Virginia and she knew she needed some things for her apartment before she went to bed. She hadn’t anticipated going right to Virginia. Since her phone was dead, she plugged it in while she put away some of her things from her suitcase, deciding what she absolutely needed to get today. As she was going through her things, she heard her phone come back to life. The wake sound was immediately followed by buzzing. Knowing she couldn’t avoid it forever, she headed towards her phone and cringed when she saw the number of missed calls, voicemails, and texts from Maura.

While she was trying to decide what to do, her phone started ringing in her hand and Maura’s name and face popped up on her screen. Chewing on her lip, she decided to bite the bullet and answered:

“Hi Maura. I was just going to text you. I literally just walked into my apartment and charged my phone since it died soon after I landed.” Jane paused, not knowing what else to say.

On the other end, Maura was speechless. She hadn’t expected Jane to answer and didn’t know what to say. She still wasn’t sure she believed the reason Jane said she left. All she was able to get out was a shaky, “Jane…”

Jane’s heart broke at the sound of Maura’s voice. She’d never hated herself more than she did in that moment. Part of her wanted to confess, but she knew that would likely only hurt Maura even more so she continued her lie. “I’m so sorry Maura. I had to go straight to Quantico. I didn’t even have time to stop in Boston. I’m going to have to ask Frankie if he can drive my stuff down here next weekend on his own. I don’t have anything I need. I’m going to have to go to the store. I don’t even know the last time I’ve been to the store without you.” Jane laughed nervously before continuing, “I’m so sorry I didn’t have time to say goodbye. I already miss you. I don’t know what else to say,” Jane trailed off. She knew she was rambling, but she really didn’t know what else to say. She could _not_ lose Maura, no matter how stupid she had been.

Finally finding her voice, Maura answered quietly, “Jane, it’s okay. I just wish you would have called me. I would have come back right away. I really wanted, no I _needed_ to say goodbye to you.”

“I’m sorry, Maura. I didn’t want to ruin your night.”

Not knowing what to say to that since she felt like the rest of her trip was ruined – and she blamed herself – she said, “I’m sorry I wasted so much time with Ian.”

“It’s okay, Maura. I know you love him. Hopefully, you can enjoy the rest of the week with him.”

“Yeah, maybe…”

“I’m sorry, Maura, but I have to go if I’m going to get the things I need for this week.” Jane didn’t think she could stand to hear the sadness in Maura’s voice anymore.

“Okay, Jane. Have a good afternoon. I know it will be late here, but will you at least text me when you get back to your apartment for the night? And can we talk again this week?”

“Of course,” Jane answered. “Bye, Maura.”

“Bye, Jane.”

Jane could feel the tears threatening to fall, but she pushed them back and dialed Frankie’s number.

“Hey, Jane. I didn’t expect to hear from you today,” Frankie answered.

“Hey, Frankie. Yeah, so I had a change of plans. The FBI called and asked me to be here early. I just got to my apartment in Quantico.” Jane felt like she could hear Frankie’s skepticism on the other end of the phone, but he didn’t say anything. “I know we were planning to drive down here together next weekend but would it be possible for you to bring it on your own and meet me here?”

Frankie sighed. He didn’t believe Jane for a second, but he figured he would talk to her when he was down there. “Sure, Jane. Of course.”

“Thanks, Frankie. I really appreciate it. I’m gonna head to the store to get some stuff to hold me over until then. I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Bye, Jane. Let me know if you need anything else.”

“Thanks, Frankie.”

After hanging up with Frankie, Jane looked for nearby stores. There was a target not that far away, so she ordered an Uber and got ready to head out.”

* * *

_Friday_

Jane’s face broke out into the biggest smile she had had in almost a week as she saw her car turn onto the street. She had worked up the courage to talk to more a few more times. She still wasn’t telling her the truth and she wasn’t sure if Maura believed her story or not, but they seemed to be moving forward. Neither of them were willing to let their friendship go. Despite this, she still felt like crap and had spent more time than she was willing to admit crying over the past couple of days.

Jane was still grinning as Frankie pulled up. He jumped out of the car and wrapped her up in a big hug – one they both knew she needed.

“I’m so glad you are here. Thank you for coming down to help!” Jane told Frankie.

“No problem. I’m glad to see you too sis,” Frankie answered as he opened the trunk. The moving van with most of Jane’s things wouldn’t be here until the next day, but Frankie had some of Jane’s essentials in the car. Working together, they quickly emptied the car. It was already pretty late in the day given the long drive from Boston for Frankie, so they decided to walk down the street to a bar that was close by Jane’s apartment.

“My treat,” Jane said as they walked in and grabbed a table.

“No shit sherlock,” Frankie answered with a smile on his face. He had missed his sister while she was in Paris and he knew he would miss her a lot more now that she was in Virginia.

Jane rolled her eyes at her brother, but she was smiling too, “Yeah, yeah, I know. My treat all weekend.”

They both ordered burgers and beers. Once their drinks had come, Frankie decided to stop ignoring the obvious.

“Alright, so tell me why you are such an idiot,” Frankie said looking Jane straight in the eye.

Jane was surprised by Frankie’s comment but quickly turned bright red. “What are you talking about?” she asked.

“Come on, Jane. I’m not stupid. The FBI did not ask you to start early, so why did you ditch Maura in Paris?”

“I didn’t…” Jane started, but after seeing the look on Frankie’s face, she stopped. “I don’t know.”

Frankie’s voice turned serious, “Jane, it’s me. You can talk to me.” When Jane still didn’t say anything, Frankie continued, “Jane, I know you’re in love with Maura. It’s obvious, so why won’t you tell her and why did you leave her in Paris?”

Jane was stunned out of her embarrassment, “You…you know? I mean, what? I don’t…I mean, I didn’t…oh my god, does everyone know?”

Frankie had to laugh at this. He was glad Jane was talking though. If he was honest with himself, he thought it would take a lot more prodding before she admitted that she loved Maura. “I mean, kinda, yeah. It’s obvious that you both love each other and…”

Jane quickly cut off Frankie, “No. Frankie, she doesn’t love me. She loves Ian.”

Frankie’s face quickly turned to confusion, “Ian? When is the last time she has even talked about him, let alone seen him?”

“We ran into him in Paris,” Jane told Frankie. He could see the distress on her face and felt bad for his sister.

“I’m sorry, Jane,” Frankie responded.

Before Frankie could continue, Jane interrupted, “Maura is starting a relationship with him. Or, I suppose, restarting a relationship…with the love of her life. He’s moving to Boston and is going to live with her.” Jane couldn’t look Frankie in the eye, instead staring at her hands. “She doesn’t feel the same way as I feel about her. She never has, which is why I had to get away. Don’t get me wrong, she’s still my best friend, but I couldn’t watch her fall in love and start a family with someone else, especially not Ian.”

“I’m really sorry, Jane,” Frankie didn’t really know what to say. “I still think she loves you and you still shouldn’t have just left her in Paris without even saying goodbye, but…”

“I know. I’m a shitty friend.”

“You’re not a shitty friend. You’re just heartbroken.”

Jane rolled her eyes, “Heartbroken?”

“Whatever, Jane. You can try to deny it, but you really don’t need to bother, especially with me.”

“I know. Honestly, at this point, I’m just so used to hiding it. Is it stupid that I actually didn’t think anyone knew?” Jane asked, a slight smirk returning to her face. “How long have you known?”

“Since she convinced you to wear a unitard that said P.U.K.E.” Frankie laughed.

Jane’s head shot up, “I didn’t even know at that point.”

“Doesn’t mean you weren’t already in love with her.”

“I guess,” Jane said.

“Want to know when I knew she was in love with you?” Frankie asked.

“She’s not nor has she ever been in love with me.”

"When you shot yourself – still stupid by the way,” Frankie said as Jane rolled her eyes again, “she didn’t leave your side.”

“She started sleeping with my doctor.”

“Ha, yeah because he saved your life,” Frankie paused seeing the look on his sister’s face. “Okay, maybe not, but just because she slept with someone else doesn’t mean she doesn’t – or didn’t – love you. Case in point…Casey.”

Jane couldn’t help laughing at Frankie’s last comment, “Okay, so who else knows?”

“I think most people know but the only people I ever talked to about it were Frost and now Nina.”

“I guess that doesn’t surprise me. Man, I really miss Frost.”

“Me too,” Frankie said quietly. Deciding to shift the subject away from Frost, Frankie added, “Nina actually thought you two were a couple when she first met you.”

“She’s not the first.”

Frankie and Jane dropped the conversation when their food arrived. Frankie decided to leave the subject alone for the rest of the weekend unless Jane brought it up. She didn’t.

* * *

_Maura’s POV_

Maura was glad to be back at work. Kent had done a great job in her absence, but she missed her work. She didn’t, however, enjoy spending her entire first day back in the office doing paperwork. It was getting late. Just as she was just finishing up, her phone rang. She smiled seeing Jane’s face and name on her screen.

“Hi, Jane!” Maura said with a smile on her face.

“Hey, Maur. How was your first day back?” Jane asked.

“One word…paperwork,” Maura laughed. “But I really want to hear about your day.”

“It was wonderful. The new recruits seem great. All green and enthusiastic,” Jane said truthfully. “Plus, they all thought I was amazing.”

“Of course they did, Jane. You _are_ amazing.”

“Well, I don’t know about that, but I’m really looking forward to teaching them and seeing them turn into real agents.”

“Did you meet anyone today?” Maura asked.

“Yeah, a few fellow instructors and Cameron took me to lunch.”

“Do you think any of them will become your friends?” Maura wanted Jane to be happy, but she couldn’t help feeling a little jealous.

Jane laughed, “I don’t know, Maur. I just met them today.” Changing the subject, Jane added, “It was weird to get home at a decent time today. It’s going to be really weird working banking hours.”

“I would think so. I’m still at the office.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt you. I should let you go so that you can finish up and get home.”

“No, Jane, don’t be sorry. I’ve been looking forward to hearing about your first day all day long.”

This made Jane smile, “Well, unfortunately I don’t have any good stories yet, but I’ll be sure to let you know when I do. Any gruesome murders?

“Well, as I mentioned earlier, I spent the entire day doing paperwork. Kent did a wonderful job while I was out, but there were some things that needed to be reviewed by the Chief Medical Examiner.”

“I guess that makes sense. I’ll let you go. Will you text me when you get home? I know it’s silly, but I still worry.”

This warmed Maura’s heart, “Yes, Jane, I’ll text you when I get home, on one condition.”

“And what would that be?” Jane asked.

“Promise we can talk again this week?”

“Of course. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Goodnight, Maura.

“Goodnight, Jane.” Maura smiled as she hung up. Despite how they left things in Paris, her relationship with Jane seemed to be okay.


	3. Thanksgiving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I’m going to try to include both Jane and Maura’s POV throughout the story, but most of the story will be from Jane’s POV. This is mostly because I hate Ian and don’t want to write more of him and Maura together than I have to.

_Jane’s POV_

Jane was enjoying her job. She definitely missed the excitement of a case, but she couldn’t deny that she loved teaching. She hadn’t yet been back to Boston since before Paris, but she talked to Maura and her family regularly. She wasn’t able to go back for Maura’s birthday, which was the Friday after she started her new job, but she and Maura had talked about this in Paris (before everything fell apart). It just didn’t make sense for Jane to travel back to Boston only a week after arriving in Virginia. She did, however, set it up with her mom to FaceTime into the family dinner as a surprise to Maura. She enjoyed being part of a big family dinner again, even if it was a bit awkward to only be there digitally. It meant a lot to Maura that Jane joined virtually and that she stayed that way for hours. They were also able to talk one-on-one later that night.

Jane and Maura continued to talk regularly. Ian moved in with Maura about a month after she returned from Paris. Whenever Maura started talking about Ian, Jane would change the subject as soon as possible. Whether or not Maura noticed, it seemed to work. Jane shared stories about her recruits and the lessons she was creating, and Maura told Jane about the cases (as much as she could without breaking confidentiality rules, of course) and about their friends and family back in Boston.

Maura called Jane one Sunday night after everyone had left Rizzoli Sunday Dinner about a month before Thanksgiving.

“Hey, Maur,” Jane answered.

“Hi, Jane. How was your weekend?”

“It was fine. I had a lot of grading to do, so I didn’t do much else. I planning on going out with some friends Friday after work though.” Jane had found a good group of friends recently, mostly instructors from the FBI Academy. She had tried dating Cameron Davies, but it hadn’t worked out. They stayed friends though, and although he wasn’t a part of the group she was going out with on Friday, she had lunch with him regularly.

“That’s great, Jane. I can’t wait to meet them when I come for a visit.”

"For sure,” Jane responded. “I’m sure they’ll love you. Do you think you’ll be able to visit soon?”

“Probably not until after the holidays,” Maura said sadly. “I’m really sorry. I was hoping to make it down there sooner. I’ve either been on call or something else has come up.”

“I know, Maur. It’s okay. But I am looking forward to showing you around when you can visit. Either way, I’ll see you at Thanksgiving.”

“Yes. You’ll be staying here, right?” Maura asked.

“Is that still okay?”

“Of course, Jane. Why wouldn’t it be?”

“Sorry, I don’t know,” Jane responded. She had been worried Ian wouldn’t want her to stay there, but as much as she hated Ian, she really wanted to be able to spend as much time with Maura as possible.

“Well, you’re staying with us.”

Jane was glad they were only talking on the phone and not using video so that Maura couldn’t see her cringe when she said “us.”

Maura continued, “And I’ve already taken the weekend off so that we can spend time together. I won’t even be on call.”

Jane smiled, “Thanks, Maur. I can’t wait. My brothers have already declared Saturday a football day, but I hope you’ll join us.”

“I’m pretty sure they’ve already decided that will be at our house, anyway. I knew you’d want to spend time with your family as well and your brothers have been talking about holding you hostage all day Saturday. I’ll be there, but you are all mine on Friday, okay?”

“Only if you don’t make me shop all day,” Jane joked.

“It is Black Friday, the biggest shopping day of the year.”

“Mauraaaa, really?”

“Well, it really is the biggest shopping day of the year, but don’t worry, I wasn’t planning on making you shop. I’ll spend plenty of time and money shopping online. Did you know that the first Black Friday was in 1952 and the first Cyber Monday was in 2005. The holiday weekend, or week I suppose also includes Small Business Saturday, which is the Saturday after Thanksgiving and Giving Tuesday, which is the Tuesday after Thanksgiving. I love the idea of Giving Tuesday. The first Giving Tuesday was in 2011 and was actually on a Monday, along with Cyber Monday, but it was moved the next year so that it didn’t compete with Cyber Monday. Last year, nearly $120 million dollars were donated on Giving Tuesday to nonprofits around the world.”

Jane couldn’t help but laugh, “Okay, Maura; I was going to see how long you could go on, but I’m pretty sure you’d never stop unless I stopped you. God, I miss your googlemouth.”

Maura blushed, “Sorry. I got carried away. Anyway, I do have some plans in mind for that Friday. I want to surprise you, but I promise that there will be no shopping and that you will enjoy it.”

“I hate surprises.”

“I don’t care,” Maura responded with a smile knowing Jane would go along anyway.

“Fine,” Jane said smiling. “How was dinner tonight?”

Maura filled Jane in on the latest family gossip. They talked for nearly an hour before hanging up with the promise to talk later in the week.

* * *

_Friday_

Jane walked into the bar where she was meeting her friends. She quickly spotted them at a large booth in the back of the room.

“Hey,” she said, greeting her friends.

“Hi, Jane,” a few of them responded as Jane sat down next to Claire, a fellow instructor who taught tactical driving – one of the reasons she and Jane hit it off so quickly. Laura, an instructor who taught ethics, and her husband Jeff, who was a medical examiner for the FBI, were already at the table. “Who else is joining us?” Jane asked.

“Greg should be here soon. Amy, Craig, and Kate will be here a little later. I don’t think Ryan or Kevin are coming tonight,” Laura answered. Greg taught counterterrorism. Amy and Kate worked in administration for the academy. Craig, Amy’s husband was a special agent with NCIS. Ryan and Kevin were physical training and firearms training instructors, respectively.

Jane ordered a beer from the waitress when she arrived. She was glad to relax. It had been a frustrating week. For whatever reason, the recruits had wanted a lot of extra help, meaning she had worked long hours most of the week – although maybe not as long as the hours she used to work.

Claire turned to Jane, “Do you have plans for Thanksgiving? Are you going back to Boston?”

“Yep. I’m planning to fly in Wednesday morning and fly home Monday morning. I’ve already set up my Monday classes so that the students meet with their capstone groups outside of class. I’m really looking forward to going home. I think my mother may be even more excited though,” Jane laughed.

“Yeah, mothers can be that way. Will you see Maura?” Amy asked. When Jane had first started hanging out with her friends, she had talked a lot about Maura. Eventually, Kate – always direct – had called Jane out on her feelings. _Apparently_ , people don’t talk about their platonic best friends all the time. Her friends had been trying to convince her to talk to Maura for a while now, but they were also just generally supportive of her – and she was grateful for that.

“Yeah. I’m actually staying at her place.”

“Does that mean you will finally tell her the truth?” Greg piped in as he joined the table.

“No, no way in hell,” Jane shot back.

The group couldn’t help but laugh.

Jane added, “My mom is going to pick me up at the airport, but I’ll stay at Maura’s. It’ll be great to spend time with all of them. I’m also really looking forward to seeing my nephew TJ. He’s gotten so big.”

“I’m really looking forward to seeing my nieces and nephew, too,” Claire shared. “The oldest is ten now. It’s crazy how fast they grow up.”

“Yeah, wait till you have your own. It goes even faster,” Jeff added. “We’re having Laura’s family over to our house for Thanksgiving dinner. The girls are ecstatic, the two of us,” John continued, pointing between himself and Laura, “not so much.”

“Oh, come on, Jeff. It won’t be that bad. My brother’s will help you ruin the turkey or burn down the house,” Laura said.

“Ruin the turkey?” Claire questioned, frowning.

“They are planning on deep frying the turkey,” Laura told them.

Jane laughed, “Oh my god, my brothers would love that. Ma and Maura would probably both die at the mere suggestion.”

“It’s actually really good, but they do make me nervous handling all of that hot oil while drinking and watching football,” Laura conceded.

“We’ll be fine. We’re always careful,” Jeff assured her. “We keep the fryers well away from the house and lawn.”

“Amy, what about you, what are you doing for Thanksgiving?” Greg asked.

Jane’s mind drifted back to Maura and her family as the rest of the group shared their Thanksgiving plans.

* * *

_Wednesday before Thanksgiving_

_Jane’s POV_

Jane spotted her mom’s car as soon as she exited the airport. Her mom stepped out of the car as Jane walked up. Jane threw her arms around her mom, wrapping her up in a big hug and surprising Angela.

“Janie, you’re finally home,” Angela said tearily.

“I know, Ma. I’m so glad to be home. I really missed you. I’ve missed everyone.”

Jane and Angela got in the car heading out.

“How have you been, Ma?” Jane asked once they had made it out of the airport complex.

“I’ve been well. I still love working at the bar, but even more than that I love having Tommy and TJ back in Boston. TJ is just amazing,” Angela continued. She talked about TJ for a large part of their drive, a topic Jane loved even if she wouldn’t admit it out loud.

“How are you and Ron?” Jane asked her mom when they were getting close to Maura’s house.

“I’m not sure. I feel like we’ve been drifting apart. It’s not like anything has happened, nothing bad. We’ve just been spending less and less time together.”

“I’m sorry, Ma,” Jane said.

“Really, Jane, it’s okay. He’s spending Thanksgiving with his family and obviously, I’m spending the holidays with our family. I feel like I should be more upset about it, but honestly, I’m really okay.”

Jane felt bad for her mother. Ron has been really good to her, but it did sound like her mother was okay, which is all she wanted.

“I’m still sorry, Ma. Even if it’s for the best, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t suck sometimes.”

“Yeah, I guess, but right now I’m just happy all of my kids are home and will be at Thanksgiving.”

Sensing the change in conversation, Jane let the topic drop, but she promised herself she’d pay attention to how her mom seemed to be doing throughout the weekend.

* * *

_Maura’s POV_

Maura couldn’t concentrate, but she knew she needed to if she was going to make it to the Dirty Robber in time for dinner and take the weekend off. She was watching the clock, noting when Jane’s plane took off, when it landed, when Angela should be picking Jane up, when they would arrive home, etc.

She submitted her last signed report just before 5pm. She quickly grabbed her purse and the files she needed to review over the weekend – she couldn’t completely get away from work, even if she was technically off – and ran to her car.

She spotted Jane the second she stepped in the Dirty Robber. She couldn’t help the smile that overtook her face upon seeing her best friend in person again.

Almost as though she could sense Maura entering the bar, Jane turned around and saw Maura walking towards their table. She immediately stood up, pulling Maura into a big hug. “I missed you so much, Maur.”

“I missed you, too, Jane,” Maura said, not yet letting go of Jane.

“Alright you two. Stop ignoring the rest of us,” Tommy called out from the booth.

Jane and Maura laughed as they sat down next to each other in the booth.

Maura didn’t know the last time she had had this much fun. Angela and TJ were there for dinner, but Angela took TJ back to her house for the night. For most of the night, it was just her, Jane, Frankie, Nina, and Tommy. A few other people from BPD stopped by to say hi to Jane.

Maura was getting tired, but she didn’t want the night to end. Jane turned to look at Maura and she could tell that she was close to falling asleep at the table. Smiling, Jane said, “Hey, Maur. Let’s head home. I’m getting tired and I can tell you are too.”

“Sounds good,” Maura responded. They said their goodbyes and headed out to Maura’s car. Both women were quiet as they headed back to Maura’s house. Jane was glad that Ian was already asleep when they got back to Maura’s house.

“Everything is ready for you,” Maura told Jane as she showed her to the guest room.

“Thanks, Maur. You know you didn’t need to give me a tour. I haven’t forgotten your house after only four months,” Jane joked.

Maura laughed, “I know. I’m just happy you’re here.” Maura pulled Jane into a hug. “Goodnight, Jane.”

“Goodnight, Maura,” Jane said with a smile as Maura closed the door.

* * *

_Friday_

_Jane’s POV_

Thanksgiving had been wonderful – lots of noise, lots of family, lots of food, and football. Angela arrived first thing in the morning to start the turkey and everyone left late that evening, so Jane hadn’t had much time alone with Maura. She was looking forward to their day together on Friday.

The prospect of spending the day with Maura made it easier for Jane to get out of bed in the morning – she had forgotten how comfortable Maura’s guest bed was. She was sitting at the kitchen island drinking coffee and scrolling through Facebook on her phone when Ian walked down.

“Good morning, Jane,” Ian greeted.

“Hey. Can I get you some coffee?” Jane asked.

“Thanks, but I got it. What are you and Maura planning to do today?” Ian asked as he poured his coffee. He poured a second cup for Maura and Jane cringed internally when she saw how much sugar he put in her cup – definitely more than Maura would like.

“I’m actually not sure. Maura said she had planned a surprise day.” Jane laughed, “I’m really not a surprise person, but I am looking forward to today.”

“I’m sure it will be great. How is the FBI?”

“It’s good. The next few weeks will be busy as this class of recruits finishes their training before the holidays. I’m already writing their final exams and getting ready for their practical interrogations that they have to successfully complete before the end of the semester.”

Maura joined them in the kitchen giving Ian a chaste kiss on the lips before grabbing her coffee cup and turning to Jane.

“Good morning, Jane,” Maura said with a smile. “Did you sleep well?”

“Like a baby. The last two nights have been some of the best nights of sleep I’ve had in a while. I forgot how comfortable your beds are.”

Maura laughed, “Well, I’m glad. Are you ready to head out?”

Jumping up, Jane responded, “Yep. Let’s go!”

Maura said goodbye to Ian before rinsing out her and Jane’s mugs in the sink. Jane noticed that Maura had barely touched her coffee.

Once they got in the car, Jane asked, “So, do I get to know where we are going yet?”

“Not yet. Well at least not what we are doing for the day. I will tell you that we are going to stop at Boston Joe’s for coffee and breakfast first.”

“Ahh, great. I definitely miss their coffee and their muffins.”

“I figured,” Maura said. The rest of the ride to the coffee shop went well as they fell back into easy conversation. After coffee and breakfast at Boston Joe’s, Maura and Jane headed back to the car, but instead of heading to the driver’s side, Maura opened the trunk.

Jane raised her eyebrows in question, “What are you doing?”

“We’re spending the day outside, so I packed warm clothes for both of us. Here these are for you,” Maura said as she handed Jane a warmer coat, a hat, gloves, and a scarf.

“Thanks. Should I be worried?”

“No,” Maura laughed. “I promise if you get too cold, we can find something to do inside.”

“Hey. I’m not a wimp. I can handle a Boston winter,” Jane said. It actually was a nice day to spend outside despite the cold.

“Ha ha. Okay, well we’re heading this way,” Maura responded as she and Jane headed off. Jane was still wondering what Maura had planned as they entered Boston Common. Maura led them to the ice skating rink and rented skates in both their sizes.

“We’re going skating? We haven’t done that in years!” Jane said excitedly.

“Yes. I figured this is something we both would enjoy.” And they did. They spent hours at the rink, only stopping for hot chocolate to warm themselves up.

After they returned their stakes, Maura turned to Jane, “I hope you are okay with an early dinner. I thought it would work well since we missed lunch and early evening is the perfect time for my after dinner plans.”

“That sounds great. Where are we headed?” Jane asked. They headed to a restaurant near Boston Common. They had to wait a few minutes for a table, but neither woman minded the wait.

After dinner, they headed back outside. “Okay, I know it’s a bit touristy, but I was hoping we could walk the Freedom Trail to see the Christmas lights,” Maura said to Jane. She was a little nervous about this part of her plan since Jane didn’t particularly like tourists, but it was something they had never done together. It seemed like something they both would enjoy that was uniquely Boston with a lot of holiday spirit.

“That’s a wonderful idea. Honestly, I haven’t really spent time just to enjoy the holiday lights in Boston since I was a kid. I’d love to do that.”

Maura smiled, “Great. I looked up the best route and it starts in Boston Common.”

Both women were exhausted but exhilarated by the time they got home that evening. Walking into Maura’s house, Jane turned to Maura and said, “Thank you for planning such a great day. I really enjoyed myself today, especially spending the day with you.”

“I did as well. I’m glad you enjoyed today. I know you’re probably tired, but would you still be up for a movie night?” Maura asked.

“Of course, but would it be okay if I took a quick shower first to warm up?” Jane responded.

“Yes. I’d actually like to do the same. Why don’t we meet on the couch in about half an hour?”

“Sounds great. Thanks, Maur. Really, thank you.” Jane pulled Maura into a hug before heading up to the guest bathroom to take a shower.

Sitting together on the couch watching a movie, it almost felt like nothing had changed. Their bubble was broken, however, when Ian walked in 15 minutes before the end of the movie.

Leaning over the couch to give Maura a kiss, Ian asked, “How was your day?”

“Wonderful,” Maura answered.

“It was great. I’m exhausted though,” Jane added. “I’m going to head to bed as soon as our movie is over.”

“Yes, I am going to head up as well. I’ll meet you in our room?” Maura asked Ian.

“Yes, sounds good. Goodnight, Jane,” Ian said.

“Goodnight,” Jane said back to Ian.

Both Jane and Maura feel asleep happy that night almost as soon as their heads hit their pillows. It rally had been a wonderful day.

* * *

_Sunday_

_Jane’s POV_

As promised, Jane spent the day watching college football with her brothers on Saturday. Maura, Ian, Korsak, Kiki, and Angela joined Jane, Frankie, Nina, Tommy, and TJ for most of the day. Jane really loved being surrounded by her friends and family. She missed this being in Virginia.

Sunday was filled with more Rizzolis for Rizzoli Sunday Dinner. Overall, it had been a wonderful weekend Jane thought as she packed her bag Sunday night. While she was packing, Jane heard a knock at the guest room door.

Assuming it was Maura, Jane said, “Come in.” She was surprised when Ian walked in.

“Hi, Jane. How is packing going?” Ian asked, closing the door behind him.

“I’m almost done,” Jane responded. “It’s been nice to be back here.”

“I can only imagine.”

Jane was confused as to why Ian was there. “Um, did you need something?” Jane asked, trying her best not to be rude.

“Sorry. I actually was hoping to talk to you,” Ian said. He seemed nervous, which made Jane nervous.

“Okay. Is everything okay?” Jane asked.

“Yeah, it’s not a big deal. I just wanted to talk to you about Maura.”

Jane whipped her head towards Ian in panic, “Is Maura okay? Is something wrong?”

“Sorry. Yes, she’s fine. I didn’t mean to worry you. It’s just that…well, I know it’s hard to move to a new city and I can imagine it’s even harder for you since you’ve spent your entire life in Boston before moving to Virginia.”

“Yeah, I mean, I miss my family and friends,” Jane didn’t really know what to say. She didn’t know where Ian was going with this and she was still worried about Maura. “What does this have to do with Maura?”

“Look, Jane, I know Maura is your best friend, but…god, I don’t know how to even say this…” Ian said with a nervous laugh. “Don’t get me wrong, you’re Maura’s best friend too. It’s just that…well…I think maybe you both are relying too much on each other.”

“I don’t understand,” Jane said.

“Well, you and Maura talk almost every day. It’s a lot and you know how Maura is, she can’t say no to anyone, especially you. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, but right now, she’s feeling a bit overwhelmed. She’s mentioned it a few times, especially lately. She needs to be able to spend time with people in person and she sometimes feels like she can’t make plans just in case you might need her. She loves talking to you, and I’m not suggesting you guys stop talking, but maybe you could rely on her less?”

“Oh,” Jane still didn’t know what to say. “I didn’t realize…”

“I know, Jane,” Ian said quickly. “I know you never wanted to hurt her or hold her back; that’s why I’m telling you. You know her, she would never say anything. She would also feel terrible if she knew I said something, so can you please not say anything to her?”

Jane felt terrible. She never wanted to hurt Maura. She thought Maura wanted to talk to her too. Not saying anything, though, is something that Maura would do. How many times had Jane seen her give too much of herself to others? Jane never wanted to be that person. “Of course. I’m…I’m really sorry,” Jane’s voice broke as she responded.

“Jane, please don’t feel bad. You haven’t done anything wrong, but I figured you would want to know. I know you always want the best for Maura.”

“Of course. Thank you for telling me. And I won’t say anything to Maura. I do know how she can be. Thank you,” Jane trailed off, her voice still shaky.

“Thanks, Jane. Please don’t feel bad. Trust me, I understand.”

“Yeah.”

Ian turned towards the door, “Have a good night Jane and please let me know if there is anything I can do to make things easier for you.” Ian walked out, shutting the door behind him.

Jane sank down onto the bed. She felt terrible, but she was determined to do better. No matter how much she missed Maura, she wouldn’t be the one to hold Maura back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I couldn’t help but add the Giving Tuesday information. I work for the nonprofit sector and do research on charitable giving. Giving Tuesday 2020 is on December 1st. The number included in the chapter is the actual approximate total for 2015 ($116.7 million). $511 million was raised online in 2019 and it was estimated that nearly $2 billion was raised online and offline on Giving Tuesday 2019.
> 
> Also, deep fried turkey is the best.


	4. Christmas, Pt 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FYI, not much happens in this chapter. I ended up splitting the planned chapter into 3 chapters because it was getting so long, so this one is more for fun/setting the stage for what is to come.

_Maura’s POV_

There were only two more weeks until Christmas when Maura was sitting in her office dreading the phone call she was about to make.

When the clock hit 6:30pm, Maura picked up her phone with a sigh and dialed Jane’s number. She had text Jane earlier in the day to see if Jane could talk tonight and Jane told her the best time would be during dinner since she had to prepare for finals in the evening. Jane had been very busy lately and she and Maura hadn’t been able to talk as often as Maura would have liked. Maura understood though. It was Jane’s first semester – and therefore first round of finals – as an instructor. Having taught before, Maura knew the pressure that came along with this. That didn’t mean she didn’t miss talking to her best friend. If she was honest with herself, she was worried that she and Jane were drifting apart. She just kept telling herself that Jane was busy and things would be better once they could spend some time together. She would make sure that they made the most of the time Jane was home over the holidays.

Jane’s phone went to voicemail. Deciding against leaving a message since she knew Jane would call her back when she could, Maura turned back to her laptop, which was open to her favorite place to shoe shop. Within a few minutes, Maura’s phone started ringing and Jane’s face and name showed up on her screen. With a smile, Maura answered, “Hi, Jane. Good evening.”

“Hey, Maur. Sorry I missed your call. I _may_ have set my smoke detectors off while cooking dinner,” Jane said with a laugh.

“Oh, no. Jane are you okay?”

“Yeah and the food is actually fine too. I think this apartment is just too small to cook in. The damn smoke detectors go off half the time I use the oven. I’m all set now. How was your day?”

“It was busy. We got called out to a new crime scene early this morning, but it ended up being an easy case. They arrested the killer about an hour ago.”

“That’s great. I do like teaching, but I really miss being in the field sometimes, especially the rush of a new case,” Jane shared.

“I know and we miss you here, as well. Frankie, Tim, and Jose are a good team, but it’s not the same without you and Vince,” Maura said sadly.

“Yeah.” Jane changed the subject, “So you wanted to talk to me about something?” She heard Maura sigh on the other end of the phone. “Maura, what’s wrong?” Jane asked as her panic started to rise. “You always sigh before bad news. Is it your health? What’s wrong?”

“No, Jane. I’m sorry. It’s nothing like that,” Maura cut Jane off before she could start to panic. “It’s…well, it’s silly really…”

“Maura, just tell me,” Jane pushed.

“We have to redo the guest bedroom,” Maura said in a single breath.

“You have to redo the bedroom?” Jane questioned. “And why do you make that sound like the worst news ever? You love redecorating.”

“I know. I do and I was really looking forward to redoing the guest room. It’s just the timing. They’re starting before Christmas, but they won’t be done in time…” Maura trailed off.

“In time for what?”

“For you to stay here,” Maura said quietly.

“Oh,” Jane was starting to understand Maura’s hesitancy. “Maura, it’s not a big deal. Please tell me you don’t feel bad about this?”

“Well, I hate to make you find somewhere else to stay at such short notice. I can find you a hotel room and I’ll pay of course since this is our fault.”

“No, Maura, I’ll just stay with Frankie and Nina. It’s not a big deal.”

“I was also really looking forward to having you here. I miss you and we’ve both been so busy lately.” Maura paused, “It won’t be the same without you here.”

“We will still spend a ton of time together. I promise.” No matter how much Jane hated this, she didn’t want Maura to feel bad. These things happen.

“Okay. I’m still really sorry, though.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for. I will be home for ten days. You will be sick of me by the end of the holidays,” Jane added with a smile.

Finally cracking a smile, Maura responded, “Unlikely, but I am looking forward to testing that theory.”

Maura and Jane continued chatting while Jane finished her dinner. Reluctantly, Maura let Jane get to her work after that. She finished her paperwork before heading home for the evening.

* * *

_Two days before Christmas_

_Jane’s POV_

Jane’s plane landed early afternoon on the 23rd. Her mother was once again waiting for her at the airport. She had thought about driving home since she would be in Boston for ten nights, but in the end, she decided she didn’t want to chance getting delayed by the weather. She had to be back in the office on Tuesday, January 3rd and Boston winters could be unpredictable.

“Hey, Ma,” Jane said as she hugged her mother.

“Jane, I’m so excited that you’re home! Merry Christmas, baby,” Angela responded.

“Not Christmas, yet, Ma,” Jane said with a laugh as she pulled away and put her bags in the trunk.

“It’s Christmas season,” Angela reasoned.

“Of course. And thanks for picking me up.”

“Like I would let anyone else,” Angela told her daughter. “We’re going to drop your stuff off at Frankie and Nina’s. They left me a key to give you. But then we are going to head over to Maura’s. She’s having us over for dinner.”

“Ma, you didn’t force Maura into hosting _another_ Rizzoli dinner did you? You’ve already convinced her to have Christmas Eve and Christmas Day at her house.”

“I did no such thing,” Angela protested. “She offered to host both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. _And_ this dinner was all her idea. I had actually assumed you guys would go to the Dirty Robber or something.”

“Fine, so who all is coming to each of these events?” Jane asked.

“Well, I really don’t know about tonight. Maura made it sound like maybe it was just her, Ian, you, and me, but she didn’t specify. Like I said, this was all her idea.”

“Okay,” Jane added.

“Tomorrow, for Christmas Eve, it’s just our family: you, me, Frankie, Nina, Tommy, TJ, Maura, Ian, Korsak, and Kiki.” This made Jane smile – that her mother considered Maura and Korsak to be family. “On Christmas Day, it will be our family, plus Nina's mom Catherine, as well as, Hope and Cailin will join us for dinner. I believe Tim and his family and Jose will stop by for dessert. Maura invited her parents, but I don’t think they are coming.”

“Of course,” Jane rolled her eyes. “Ian doesn’t have any family?”

“Not in the country at least. He doesn’t really talk much about his family, but I think he may have some in Australia.” Angela looked at her daughter briefly while they were stopped at a light. She knew Jane didn’t care for Ian. She hadn’t liked him since the first time Ian visited Maura years ago.

Jane and Angela dropped Jane’s bags off at Frankie and Nina’s. Jane decided to change quickly before they headed over to Maura’s for dinner.

When they arrived, Maura opened the door with a smile, “Jane!” Pulling Jane into a hug, she added, “You could have just walked in, you know. That hasn’t changed.”

“Ha ha, okay, I’ll remember that. Hi, Maur,” Jane continued, “I’ve missed you.”

Finally pulling back from Jane, Maura added, “I’ve missed you to. Please come in. I’ll get you something to drink.” Addressing Jane’s mother, she said, “Angela, would you like wine?”

“That would be wonderful,” Angela responded as the three women walked into the kitchen where Ian was cooking.

“Smells wonderful,” Jane said. “I’m definitely hungry.”

“Good. Here,” Maura said handing Jane a beer. “Let’s sit. Dinner is almost ready.”

Dinner was enjoyable for all four of them. They each shared stories about their lives, but Angela’s stories from the bar were by far the most entertaining. Ian had been working at the MEND Clinic and shared stories of his most bizarre patients, Jane talked about her recruits, and Maura updated them all on everyone at BPD.

As they finished their post-dinner drinks, Jane said, “I should probably order an Uber. It will take forever to get here given the holidays and we’ve all had too much to drink to drive.”

“Actually, Jane, I was hoping you would stay a while longer. I thought maybe the two of us could spend some time together. If we stop drinking now, I’ll be fine to drive you to your Frankie and Nina’s in a couple hours. Maybe we can watch a movie?” Maura asked Jane, hoping that Ian would catch on and head upstairs.

“Oh, yeah, sure. That sounds good,” Jane said. She then turned to her mom, “Are you going to head back to the guest house?”

“Yes,” Angela said standing up to give Jane a hug. “I’ll see you tomorrow, sweetheart.” Turning to Maura, she gave the other woman a hug as well. “Thank you for having us. I’ll see you both tomorrow as well,” she said with a nod to Ian before heading out the back door.

Once Angela was gone, Maura turned to Ian, “Is it okay if I stay up for a while with Jane?”

“Of course,” Ian told her. He stepped towards Maura giving her a heated kiss that made Jane’s skin crawl. “Let me know when you drive Jane back though?”

“I will,” Maura responded. “Goodnight.”

Ian headed upstairs and Maura turned to Jane, “Would you like something to drink? Water, soda, coffee, tea?”

“I’ll have tea if that is what you are going to have,” Jane said knowing Maura would definitely choose tea this time of night.

“Yes, I was going to have tea,” Maura said as she filled the teapot with water.

“But no panda poop tea,” Jane said with a smile.

Maura laughed, “How about chamomile?”

“That sounds good. Thanks, Maur.”

“Would you like to watch a movie?” Maura asked walking towards the couch.

“Why don’t you put on something we’ve already seen? That way we can talk at the same time.”

Maura smiled, “I like that idea. The Proposal?”

“Of course you would pick a chic flic,” Jane said with a laugh. “Yeah, that sounds good.” Jane would never admit it to _anyone_ , but she enjoyed watching romantic movies, especially with Maura. They had already seen The Proposal quite a few times, but Jane like the Alaskan scenery.”

Maura found the movie on Netflix then headed back to the kitchen to get their tea. Once they settled with their tea on the couch and started the movie, Jane turned to Maura with a smirk, “Now that it’s just us, tell me all your secrets.”

“You know all of my secrets,” Maura said laughing. “What about you? Anyone special?”

Jane blushed, “I’m not dating anyone, if that’s what your asking.” At least that wasn’t a lie. Maura didn’t ask if she _wanted_ to be dating anyone. “I’m enjoying hanging out with friends though. You would like them. You would also like playing trivia with us.”

“You play trivia?”

“We just started, but it’s become a _thing_ , I guess. The bar has trivia every Wednesday night. I know you’ll most likely only be able to visit on a weekend, but at some point, we’ll have to find a way for you to visit during the week so that you can join us for trivia. We would _definitely_ win with you there,” Jane told Maura. “Seriously, you would probably actually be bored.”

“I think I would enjoy that. I’ll see what I can do. Maybe I can visit for longer than just a weekend?” Maura said uncertainly.

“I would love that. I know you’re busy though.” Jane didn’t want to get her hopes up. She had thought that Maura would have visited by now.

“Yes, but I also miss you.”

“I miss you, too,” Jane whispered. “Let’s not think of that now, though. We have ten days together. We should just enjoy it.”

“I agree,” Maura said with a smile. “But, I’m glad you’re here,” Maura paused. “What was your favorite Christmas?”

Jane laughed, “What?”

“I want to know about your favorite Christmas. I know it’s silly, but I love hearing stories from your childhood.”

“Haha, it was just a very abrupt change of topic.”

“I know, but like you said, let’s not think of being apart. So, favorite Christmas?”

“Hmm. I’m not sure,” Jane said, thinking. “My parents always made Christmas special, especially Ma, but Pop was usually in a better mood during the holidays, as well. I guess maybe the Christmas when I was ten is probably one of my favorites. I no longer believed in Santa, but Frankie and Tommy still did. Ma and Pop let me help pick out some of their Santa gifts and let me help them set the gifts under the tree on Christmas Eve. Pop also didn’t have any calls on Christmas Day so that was one of the few years he was around all day. I think he may have also been having a good year, business-wise. There had been a lot less fighting between him and Ma. It also snowed that year over night on Christmas Eve. After presents and breakfast, Pop took us all outside and we had a massive snowball fight, me and Pop against Frankie and Tommy. We crushed them, of course.”

“Of course,” Maura laughed. “That’s not exactly a fair fight though given that Frankie and Tommy were so young.”

“Ah, who cares,” Jane was laughing too, now. “My team would have won no matter who I was paired with. What about you? Tell me about your favorite childhood Christmas.”

Maura blushed, “Well, my favorite Christmas wasn’t actually during my childhood. I enjoyed Christmas as a child primarily because my parents were usually in town, but our Christmases were very adult centered. My parents always had a beautiful dinner party on Christmas Eve. My mother throws the best dinner parties. On Christmas Day, we would usually spend the day with my mother’s family. I had – or I suppose, I _have_ – cousins, but we were never close. I primarily sat with the adults and listened to their conversations. It was always interesting, but I wish…well, I don’t know what I wish. It doesn’t matter now, though.”

“I’m sorry, Maura.”

“It’s okay. I didn’t really know I was missing out on anything. I thought everyone’s holidays were like that.”

“Okay, then what was your favorite Christmas?” Jane asked.

“The first Christmas your mother hosted here. It was the Christmas after your father left. Sorry, maybe that wasn’t the best Christmas for you…” Maura trailed off.

“No, it wasn’t like that. Sure, it was weird without Pop, but honestly, it was even better with you there.”

“Thanks,” Maura said.

“I’m surprised we didn’t scare you off,” Jane said with a laugh.

“I loved it. It was like the movies – loud, lots of food, lots of presents, but most of all lots of love. I know I had been to a few birthday parties with your family, but there was really nothing like that first Christmas.”

“Ma told me you didn’t think you would be invited,” Jane said so quietly that Maura barely heard her.

“I didn’t know she told you that.” Maura paused for a while, long enough that Jane wasn’t sure she was going to continue, but she did, “I may not know social norms, but I do know that people don’t just show up at other people’s family events.”

“But you were family – you _are_ family,” Jane emphasized.

“We had been friends for a while at that point, but I was just beginning to become close to your family,” Maura continued. “I think maybe that’s why it was so special. Besides being fun, I think it was the first time I really _knew_ I was a part of your family.”

“You know, no matter where we live or how often we talk, you will always be family,” Jane added.

Maura didn’t know how to respond, so she didn’t. They both turned back to the movie and finished it in comfortable silence.

After the movie, Maura drove Jane back to Frankie’s. Jane said a quick hello to Frankie and Nina before heading to the spare bedroom. Jane was glad they had purchased a house so that she didn’t have to sleep in that tiny alcove in Frankie’s previous apartment or on someone’s couch.


	5. Christmas, Pt 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know a few of you hate Maura in this story (and sorry, this chapter will probably make you hate her more), but I promise it will get better. I feel like a lot of stories make Maura out to be perfect (or at least better than Jane), but I think her social insecurities would actually lead her to make more questionable decisions that hurt Jane even if she didn’t intend to. Maybe this is just because I can relate more to Maura than to Jane, haha. In the end, I hope you all like both of characters again.

_Christmas Eve_

_Maura’s POV_

Maura did a final check to make sure all of her gifts were under the tree, the table was set, and everything was in order. Smiling to herself, she headed upstairs. Ian was in their room getting ready for dinner. Walking into her closet, she picked a red fitted dress with a black blazer and black heels. As she got dressed, Ian walked up behind her giving her neck a soft kiss as he whispered, “Merry Christmas. I love you, Maura.”

“Merry Christmas. I love you, too,” Maura replied automatically. Turning in Ian’s arms, she gave him a peck on the lips before slipping out of his arms and heading to the bathroom to finish getting ready. She knew Ian wanted sex, but she wanted to be downstairs and ready when everyone arrived.

“You okay, Maur?” Ian questioned.

Maura didn’t like the sound of her nickname on his lips, but she ignored it, “Yes, I’m fantastic actually. I’m looking forward to the next two days. It’s wonderful to spend the holidays with family.”

“I’m looking forward to spending time with you,” Ian responded. “Are you up for an early Christmas gift?” Ian said as he pulled her back towards the bed.

Maura gave him a kiss, but pulled back, “We don’t have time right now.”

“No one will miss us if we are a few minutes late.”

“I don’t like being late, especially to an event that I am hosting,” Maura said frowning.

“Alright, alright, you’re right. You owe me tonight, though, especially for putting up with the Rizzolis,” Ian told her.

Maura didn’t like this response but chose to ignore it. She had always assumed they would have sex tonight, but she did _not_ owe Ian or anyone else sex. She also didn’t like his comment about _her_ family. As she tried to decide what to say next to change the subject, she heard Angela enter downstairs. Instead, she smiled at Ian, letting him make his own conclusions about that, and headed downstairs.

“Merry Christmas, Angela.”

“Merry Christmas, sweetie,” Angela replied to Maura, pulling her into a hug. The rest of the Rizzolis arrived soon after and Maura forgot all about her conversation with Ian.

After dinner, Angela and Kiki were doing the dishes and Korsak was talking to Ian at the table, while Jane, Maura, Frankie, Nina, and Tommy talked in the living room. TJ was playing on the floor with his new toys.

“So we have something we want to ask you guys,” Frankie said to the rest of the group. “Nina and I have decided on our wedding party. Jane and Tommy, would you stand up with me?”

“Who gets to be your best man?” Tommy immediately asked.

“Dibs,” Jane nearly yelled. Everyone laughed.

“Uhh…” Frankie paused.

“I’m just joking. I know Jane’s your best man. No hard feelings,” Tommy said. Turning to Jane, he added, “As long as I get to help plan the bachelor party.”

“Done,” Jane said, both of them turning to Frankie.

“Thanks, guys,” Frankie said, glad that Tommy understood his relationship with Jane.

Nina turned to Maura, “Maura, would you be willing to be my maid-of-honor?”

Maura’s eyes widened in surprise as a smile graced her face, “Are you sure?”

Nina laughed, “Of course, I’m sure. I’ve asked my cousin to be my other bridesmaid. I’d really love for you to stand up with me.”

“I’d be honored,” Maura responded. “Thank you for asking me.”

“I think I’m supposed to be the one saying thank you, but I’m glad you feel that way,” Nina said smiling.

Maura really hadn’t expected Nina to ask her to be in her wedding. She was extremely happy to be included – something she never thought would happen when she was younger. She was also looking forward to standing across from Jane.

The five of them enjoyed the rest of the evening with Angela, Ian, Korsak, and Kiki eventually joining them in the living room.

Later that evening, Frankie, Nina, and Jane returned to Frankie and Nina’s house. When Nina went to get ready for bed, Frankie turned to Jane, “Are you going to be okay with Maura being in the wedding? I’m not going to tell Nina she can’t have whomever she wants as her maid-of-honor, but I also want you to be okay.”

“I’ll be fine. Of course, Nina should have the people she wants stand up with her. I would never want to interfere with that.”

“And I would never let you,” Frankie added.

“I know, I know, but thank you for checking on me. I really will be fine. I’m really happy for you and Nina and that is all that matters.”

“Thanks, Jane. I’m really happy.”

“I know you are, little brother, and I couldn’t be happier for you. Plus, your wedding will be fun.”

“You know it will,” Frankie said with a huge smile.

Jane rolled her eyes, “We should head to bed. Merry Christmas, Francesco.”

“Merry Christmas, Clementine.”

“Don’t,” Jane said narrowing her eyes and pointing her finger at Frankie.

Frankie laughed, putting his hands up in defeat, “Alright, sorry.” After a pause, he added, “Good night, Jane.”

“Good night, Frankie. And tell Nina good night and Merry Christmas for me, as well,” Jane added as she walked into the guest room.

* * *

_Christmas_

_Jane’s POV_

Frankie, Nina, and Jane went back to Maura’s after breakfast on Christmas Day. They would spend some time with Maura, Ian, Tommy, TJ, and Angela before everyone else arrived for Christmas Dinner.

Angela started the turkey while Jane and Frankie chased TJ around the living room. Maura and Nina sat at the island counter talking to Angela about Nina and Frankie’s wedding.

“Angela, would you be willing to help me throw Nina a bridal shower?” Maura asked.

“Oh, you don’t need to do that, Maura,” Nina said.

“Of course, I do. Besides, I want to!” Maura told her. “And do you really think Angela would let me throw her future daughter-in-law a bridal shower without her input?” Maura added, smiling at Angela.

Nina and Angela both laughed. “She knows me well,” Angela responded. “I would love to help you plan the shower. We should try to find a weekend that works with Catherine before she leaves. I’m sure Nina’s mom would also want to help plan the shower.”

“She definitely will want to help,” Nina told them. “I can also text my cousin, Tina, to see what weekends she might be available. Of course, there are other people I’d like to invite, but the two of you, my mom, Tina, and Jane are the people I really want there.”

“We can sit down and write a list soon, but who do you have in mind?” Maura asked Nina.

“Kiki, of course. I’d also like to invite Hope and Cailin if you think they would want to come and if it’s okay with you.’

“I think they would be honored to be invited. They both seem to enjoy being part of a larger extended family.”

“I was also thinking Tim’s wife Jen and daughter Sarabeth. I have a couple of other aunts and cousins I’d like to invite and a few friends from Chicago.”

TJ ran into the kitchen interrupting the women’s conversation. “Nonna, can we open presents now.”

Angela laughed at her grandson’s excitement. “Sure, honey. Why don’t you gather everyone in the living room?” TJ ran off, quickly herding all of his family members around the tree.

Once everyone was in the room, Jane started, “I think we’re tested TJ’s patience enough for one day. How about we start with my gifts?” Jane handed TJ his gift before handing out the rest of her gifts to her family.

Jane handed Maura a gift before handing Ian the gift she had gotten for both of them. After she finished handing out the gifts, Jane looked back at TJ. “Okay, GO!” Jane said, and she watched TJ rip into the paper before she turned her attention back to Maura. Maura was watching Ian open the gift Jane had gotten for them as a couple. She had gotten them a new wine decanter and a fancy – and expensive – wine from a local winery in Virginia. They both thanked Jane, and Maura turned to her gift. Maura, of course, neatly removed the wrapping paper and set it aside before looking at what was in the box: a book and a bag of coffee. Seeing the title on the book, Maura looked up at Jane with a shy smile.

“I know it’s a bit silly and way too mushy for my taste, but when I saw the book in a store in downtown D.C, I couldn’t resist,” Jane told her. “The book was really your present, but when I saw merlot flavored coffee, I had to get that for you as well. I mean it’s wine and coffee – two of your favorite things.”

Maura laughed, “I can honestly say I’ve never had them together.” Then she turned back to the book, reading the title quietly, “‘Why you’re my bestie.’” Maura paused a as she flipped through the book, “And you filled out…every page.”

“Of course, I filled it out. It would be kind of a lame gift if I hadn’t,” Jane said. “I mean, it’s kinda a lame gift anyway, but I thought you might like it,” Jane said uncertainly.

“I love it,” Maura said to Jane. For Maura, everyone else had disappeared from the room. It was just her and Jane – like it used to be – until Ian cut in.

“What did she write?” Ian asked, annoyed. Jane cringed. Maybe she shouldn’t have given this to Maura in front of everyone else. She hadn’t really expected anyone else to care or want to read it. She’d forgotten how nosey everyone could be.

“I don’t want to hold everyone else up. I think I’ll read it later,” Maura replied. She didn’t really want to read it in front of Ian or anyone else. “Why don’t we hand out our gifts?” she said to Ian, and he reluctantly agreed. Jane let out a sigh of relief as Maura turned to give her a smile and a quiet “Thank you.”

Everyone else arrived shortly after they finished exchanging gifts. Jane didn’t know Maura’s house could hold so many people. Dinner was loud and crazy, just the way Jane liked it (even if she did complain about her family).

After dinner, some of the group stayed at the table, some moved to the kitchen, and the rest retreated to the living room. Ian stood by the tree and cleared his throat, “Hey, can I get everyone’s attention?” Ian waited for the room to quiet down. “I know we exchanged gifts earlier, but I have one more gift to give. Maura, I have something for you.” Ian paused while Maura joined him near the tree. He looked around to make sure everyone was paying attention.

Turning back to Maura, he said, “Maura, dear. I never thought I’d get another chance with you. We spent so many years pining for each other, but our lives never aligned. Now, though, we’re finally on the same path, and I don’t want to let this chance pass me by.”

Ian got down on one knee and opened a small velvet box in front of Maura, “Maura, will you marry me?”

Jane felt her heart shatter. This couldn’t be happening…

* * *

_Maura’s POV_

Maura was pretty sure this wasn’t how she was supposed to feel when she was proposed to. She was also pretty sure her first instinct shouldn’t have been to look for her best friend’s face. She stopped herself from looking at Jane, but she could see Hope, Cailin, and Kiki’s faces. Everyone was watching and they all expected one thing: for her to say yes. They were happy for her, and they were waiting for her response. So was Ian…

“Yes,” Maura said quietly. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”

Ian jumped up and pulled her into a hug. Maura buried her face in his neck to hide her face. This is what she wanted. This would make her happy. At least that is what she kept repeating to herself. Maybe if she told herself this enough times, she would actually start to believe it.

Ian pulled back with a smile on his face. She gave him a smile in return. It was genuine – she did appreciate him – but it didn’t fully reach her eyes. He took hold of her left hand, pulling the ring out of the box and sliding it on her finger. Yes, this is what she wanted…

Ian pulled her into another hug, but she was quickly pulled away as Hope and Angela each gave her a hug, congratulating her. Everyone else followed close behind offering hugs and congratulations.

* * *

_Frankie’s POV_

“Not fast enough,” Frankie said to Jane.

“What?” Jane asked confused.

Frankie just gave her a knowing look. Realizing he was referring to hiding her true reaction to Maura’s engagement, Jane rolled her eyes. Choosing not to respond, Jane stood up, plastered a smile on her face, and went to congratulate her best friend.

“Congratulations, Maura,” Jane offered with a big smile and an even bigger hug.

“Thank you, Jane,” Maura said as she let herself relax into Jane’s arms.

Jane pulled back before Maura was ready, “I’m really happy for you. I just know you’re going to have the biggest, most beautiful wedding.”

“Hey!” Frankie interjected.

Maura and Jane laughed. Jane continued, “Sorry, Frankie, but it’s Maura. You know she can’t do anything without going overboard.”

Frankie laughed as Jane continued to tease Maura about how over the top her wedding would be. Frankie knew that Jane was just trying to keep up pretenses for Maura’s sake. Underneath, she was devastated. He had seen the look on her face when Ian asked Maura to marry him. She had covered up her reaction before anyone else had seen, but she could rarely fool him. He felt bad for his sister. He still thought she should have told Maura the truth at some point over the past few years, especially before moving away, but nonetheless she didn’t deserve this. Frankie wasn’t sure what he had thought was going to happen. It was clear to him and everyone else that Maura and Jane both loved each other, but they had lived in denial for so long that neither of them could see it. He couldn’t blame Maura for trying to move on, trying to build a family. Jane had done the same thing with Casey. Still, he had hoped one of them would come to their senses before it got to this point. The separation had been hard on both of them. While he didn’t like to see Jane or Maura hurting, he had hoped that that hurt would be the catalyst to bring them together.

Maybe it was never meant to be, Frankie thought as he watched his sister listen to Maura, Hope, Cailin, and their mother talked about wedding ideas. Maybe it was never meant to be…

* * *

_Maura’s POV_

Everyone had left and Maura had just finished cleaning up. Ian was already upstairs getting ready for bed when she heard him yell down the stairs, “Are you almost done, Maura? Will you be coming up to bed soon?”

“Yes, I’ll be right up.” Maura turned off all the lights and made sure the doors were locked before heading upstairs. As soon as she walked into the bedroom, Ian pulled her into a passionate kiss.

“I can’t wait to marry you,” Ian whispered in her ear as he kissed across her jawline and down her neck.

Maura sighed, giving into Ian’s passion.

Later that night, Ian had fallen asleep after they finished, but Maura couldn’t sleep. She tossed and turned on her side of the bed before she finally gave up. Quickly putting on her pajamas and grabbing her robe, she snuck downstairs.

Trying to stay as quiet as possible so that she didn’t wake Ian, Maura brewed herself a cup of tea, turned the Christmas tree lights back on, and sank down onto the couch. Staring at the tree lights, Maura got lost in her thoughts. She hadn’t really expected Ian to propose today; she wasn’t really sure she had ever expected him to propose. When he had, she was surprised, so she responded in the only way she knew how – by giving the answer everyone expected her to give. Was she happy? Maybe? She wanted a family, and this seemed to be her last chance. Ian wanted to build a life with her; he wanted to have children with her. She should be grateful. No, she _was_ grateful; well, she would work on convincing herself of that.

This led her thoughts back to Jane. Jane had been happy for her. Maybe planning the wedding would give her a reason to talk to Jane more. Of course, she would ask Jane to be her maid-of-honor, and hopefully, this would mean Jane wanted to help her plan her wedding and find her dress. She wasn’t sure though. Jane had her own life, and she was happy in Virginia. She hadn’t had much time for Maura lately; would Maura getting married really change that?

Maura noticed her gift box from Jane still sitting under the tree. She stood up and brought the book Jane had given her back to the couch. She smiled as she read through the book. Some of the pages were silly: **_You have the funniest “dance moves.”_**

Some were a bit morbid, but still made Maura smile: **_You are crazy-talented at “identifying stomach contents in corpses.”_**

But her favorite was the first page. The page originally said: **_You are the best _____ in the world._** But Jane had filled the page with different things she thought Maura was the best at: friend, medical examiner, person, confidant, and so on and so on. There had to be 40 things written on the page. And in the bottom corner she had added: **_“But you are the worst liar in the world.”_**

She also liked the fourth page: **_I still laugh about the time “I stabbed a fish” and “Giovanni tried to lick your face.”_** Jane had also added a number of other memories written all over the page, such as **_“You convinced me to wear a unitard that said P.U.K.E.”_** and **_“You got high and told me you loved glazed donuts.”_**

As she continued to read, she felt hot tears slip down her cheeks. She ended up re-reading the book multiple times before she brought it to her home office for safe keeping. She quietly slipped into bed and fell asleep thinking of her favorite memories with Jane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, I really struggled to write Ian. I don’t think I really succeeded in capturing his character, but I decided to just go with it. He’ll be gone after a few more chapters I promise. This story is really about Jane and Maura.


	6. A New Year

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one day! I don't know how others have the patience to space out their chapters. I want to share mine as soon as they're ready. I think I also just want to get past the angst parts. There are still a few chapters to go though before we get to the happy parts. I promise the second half of the fic will be happy and sweet.
> 
> This isn’t my favorite chapter, especially the New Year’s portion. The Super Bowl part was fun to write, though. I’m not sure it adds much but I felt like I needed a buffer between the previous chapter and the next chapter.

_New Year’s Eve_

_Maura’s POV_

Maura was in her office looking at some files for work when Ian knocked on the door and walked in.

“Hello, Maura, dear. I have a surprise for you,” Ian said.

“A surprise?” Maura asked, raising an eyebrow. She wasn’t really a fan of surprises and she had already had a big one on Christmas.

Ian handed her an envelope, which Maura opened. She stared at the contents, not saying anything.

“Go pack a bag,” Ian said with a smile.

“We’re going to New York?” Maura asked.

“Yes, I wanted to celebrate the New Year with my fiancé. We have a flight in a few hours, so we need to head to the airport soon.”

“We’re leaving today? But everyone is coming over tonight and again tomorrow for the football games.” Maura wasn’t sure she liked this idea. It was sweet of Ian to plan a romantic getaway, but he also knew they already had plans with the Rizzolis. Jane was headed back to Quantico on the 2nd, so these were Maura’s last few days with Jane. She had really been looking forward to spending the time with her.

“I already told Angela my plan,” Ian told her. “She’s agreed to keep an eye on the house, and I told her they could still use the house as planned for tonight’s get together and to watch tomorrow’s games.”

“Oh, wow, thank you,” Maura said as she forced a smile. “I’ll go pack.”

Maura went upstairs and pulled out her suitcase. They were going for two nights, so she didn’t need a lot. However, they were likely going out to a few nice restaurants. She picked two of her favorite cocktail dresses that she could wear for dinners. She also packed a few daytime outfits before turning to her shoes.

Before heading to the bathroom to pack her toiletries, Maura decided to text Jane.

Maura (9:52am): **_Jane, Ian has surprised me with a trip to New York City to celebrate the New Year. Our flight leaves at 1pm, so we will be leaving for the airport at 10:30am. I won’t be back before you leave on Monday. I would really like to say goodbye to you before we leave. Is there any way you can stop by the house before 10:30am? I know it’s last minute._**

Maura knew the likelihood that Jane would not only see the text in time but also be able to get to her house on such short notice was slim, but she had to try. She kept checking her phone as she packed her toiletries and did a final check of her luggage. When she was ready, she changed into a new outfit that was more appropriate for traveling and headed downstairs. She couldn’t help but glance back at her phone every few minutes to see if Jane had responded.

When Maura arrived downstairs, Ian said, “Are you ready? I’ll put your bags in the car.”

“Yes, I’ve finished packing. Thank you. I just need a few minutes to make sure everything is set with the house.” As Maura did her final checks of the house, Ian loaded their bags in the car.

Maura was ready to go at exactly 10:30am. She wanted to stall to see if Jane would respond, but she also didn’t want to be late. Maura Isles was _never_ late for a flight.

“Ready?” Ian said to her, putting his hand on the small of her back to lead her out the door.

Maura smiled, “Yes.”

When they were on the road, Ian turned to Maura, “I’ve made hotel reservations on the Upper East Side. I thought about trying to stay near Times Square, but I figured we would never be able to get near the area on New Year’s Eve. I’ve also made dinner reservations for tonight and tomorrow night. We can walk through Central Park tomorrow and our flight is late on Monday, so we can visit one of the museums before we head to the airport. I was thinking either the Guggenheim, which isn’t far from our hotel or the MoMA, but it’s up to you.”

“That sounds wonderful,” Maura replied. “Thank you for this.”

Maura watched out the window on their way to the airport. She was confused and her feelings were all over the place. This is exactly the type of thing she always wanted her significant others to do for her, but in this case, she felt angry with Ian. He knew how much she was looking forward to her time with Jane. If nothing else, he could have at least told her the night before so that she could say goodbye to Jane before they left. She turned and looked at Ian. He looked happy. She decided, in that moment, that she was going to do her best to enjoy this trip.

* * *

_Jane’s POV_

Jane and Frankie finished their pick-up game at the gym. Jane grabbed her phone as she walked into the locker room to change. She saw that she had a text from Maura. She stopped in her tracks as she read Maura’s text and immediately looked at the time. It was 10:46am. She was too late; she knew Maura never left late for the airport, but she had to try. She immediately dialed Maura’s number. It went to voicemail, so she sent a text: **_Frankie and I just finished playing basketball at the gym. I really want to see you before you leave. Any chance you’re still around?_**

Jane didn’t get a response. She had hoped that Maura would check her phone if she was still in the car on the way to the airport, but it seemed that she wasn’t paying attention to her phone. After waiting a few minutes, she received a text from Frankie: **_Did you pass out from exhaustion after I whooped your ass?_**

Despite her disappointment about Maura leaving, this made her laugh. She got up, changed quickly, and headed out to find Frankie.

Spotting Frankie in the lobby, Jane walked over to him and said, “Sorry, I got a text from Maura. Ian surprised her with a trip to New York for the New Year. She already left.”

Frankie didn’t know what to say; his sister’s disappointment was palpable. “I’m sorry, Janie,” he tried.

“Nah, I’m happy for her. She should enjoy a romantic getaway.” Both of them knew Jane was lying through her teeth, but Frankie decided now wasn’t the time to address it. He decided that he was going to have another “come to Jesus” talk with her before she went back to Quantico, though.

Jane and Frankie were nearly back to Frankie and Nina’s house when Jane received a response from Maura: **_We just got through security. I’m sorry, Jane. I really wanted to see you again before you left, as well. I’ll call you tomorrow, though?_**

Jane: **_Sounds good. Have fun! I’ll talk to you tomorrow._**

* * *

_New Year’s Day_

_Frankie’s POV_

Normally, the Rizzolis would spend New Year’s Day watching the college football bowl games, but with January 1st falling on a Sunday this year, they decided to extend the tradition and watch the NFL games that would be on that day. The bowl games would still be played on Monday, but Jane would be on her way back to Virginia.

Frankie, Jane, and Nina let themselves into Maura’s house. Angela, Korsak, Kiki, Tommy, and TJ were already there.

It was the Patriots final regular season game. If they won against the Dolphins, they would clinch 1st place in the AFC and secure home field advantage for the playoffs.

Throughout the game, Frankie kept an eye on his sister. She was unusually quiet for any sporting event, especially one featuring a Boston team. After Jane barely acknowledge the Pats convincing win, Frankie decided he couldn’t ignore her mood anymore.

“Hey, Janie. Want to go on a walk?” Frankie asked Jane.

“It’s fucking freezing out,” was Jane’s response.

Frankie rolled his eyes, “Virginia making you soft? It’s a perfect Boston winter day.”

Jane couldn’t ignore the bait, “Alright, let’s go.” Once they were bundled up and outside, Jane had to admit that the crisp clean air was refreshing, even if it was cold.

When they were far enough away from the house, Frankie turned to Jane, “How are you doing?”

“I’m fine. Why?” Jane lied.

“Seriously, Jane. You barely said a word during that game. Plus, I know you. This thing with Maura is eating you alive.”

“I don’t want to talk about Maura,” Jane said shortly.

“I don’t care. You need to talk.”

Jane didn’t say anything, so Frankie continued, “Look, Jane. I really think you need to try to talk to Maura.”

“No, Frankie, stop. I’m not talking to Maura. I’m not telling her how I feel. I’m not ruining her happiness.”

“I don’t think she’s as happy as you think she is.”

“Of course, she is. Ian is the love of her life.”

“Really, Jane. You’re not going to let that go are you. She said that _years_ ago.”

“And she didn’t hesitate to pick right back up with him when we ran into him in Paris. She let him move in. She’s _marrying_ him,” Jane said, putting emphasis on the word marrying.

“Maybe she only said yes to Ian because she doesn’t think you’re an option.”

Jane stopped walking. She was halfway between bursting into tears and punching Frankie in the face. “She doesn’t love me,” Jane said to Frankie and Frankie could hear the emotion in her voice – the hurt, the fear, and the anger.

“You’re always going to regret it if you don’t try,” Frankie responded.

“NOT. GOING. TO. HAPPEN.”

“Jane…” Frankie started.

“No, don’t ‘Jane’ me,” Jane said to Frankie. “I’m not doing this. I’m not having this conversation.”

“But you’re miserable and I hate seeing you that way.”

“I’m fine,” Jane said shortly. Frankie could tell she was shutting down.

“Fine, but if you want to talk, I’m always here for you.”

With a sigh, Jane quietly said, “Thanks. I know you are, and I appreciate it.”

Deciding he had pushed the topic enough for now, Frankie changed the conversation back to the football game. As they talked about the game and walked back to Maura’s house, Jane’s mood seemed to improve. She still wasn’t herself, but knowing someone else knew how she felt had taken some of the pressure off her chest.

* * *

_Super Bowl, February 5, 2017_

_Jane’s POV_

Lady Gaga was currently singing on Jane’s TV and Jane was not a fan. She rolled her eyes as Greg sat down next to her.

“Not a fan?” Greg asked her.

“Not really,” Jane answered. “Doesn’t help that the Pats are losing.”

“I’m not sure the score has anything to do with her singing.”

“Haha. I suppose not. I guess it’s just my own despair. Maura would probably call it transference or some other fancy scientific word.”

“Have you talked to Maura lately?” Greg pressed.

Jane frowned, “Not really.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to bring your mood down even more.”

“It’s okay. It’s not like she wasn’t already on my mind. She always is,” Jane stated sadly.

“I understand,” Greg told her, and she knew he did. Greg was in pretty much the same boat she was. Kim, the woman he was in love with, was married to another guy. Jane had never met her husband, but she pretty much hated him on principle. “You know, we should try to move on. Maybe we could move on together?”

“What does that mean?” Jane questioned.

“Honestly, whatever you want it to mean,” Greg answered.

“How drunk are you?” Jane wasn’t sure she wanted to know the answer. She knew Greg was hurting, so was she, but she couldn’t help but think there could be some merit to this idea. One of the reasons she couldn’t seem to make any progress in other relationships was because she didn’t want to hurt the other person. It was unfair to go out with them, spend time with them, start a relationship with them when Maura still owned her heart. But, what if the other person was in the same situation.

“Drunk enough to voice this idea, not drunk enough to regret it tomorrow.”

“Good answer. Want to come over for pizza and beef after work on Friday?”

“Sure,” Greg said and they left it at that as Lady Gaga ended her set and the game resumed.

Jane wanted to pull her hair out. Her team, the New England Patriots, were trailing the Atlanta Falcons 28 to 3 in the third quarter. Her apartment was packed and loud. When the Pats had made the Super Bowl, she decided to invite her friends over for the game, except her apartment wasn’t that big. This meant that she couldn’t escape to let out her frustration. Maura would tell her she shouldn’t be this invested in a game, but Maura wasn’t here. In fact, Maura had never been here. No, she had to stop thinking about Maura. Combined with her frustration over the game, these thoughts would just upset her more.

PATRIOTS SCORE!

Jane jumped up in excitement. Her friends were barely paying attention. None of them were Patriots fans. Those that did follow the NFL were primarily Redskins fans. A few were Baltimore Ravens fans, which meant they hated the Patriots on principle. Regardless, all of them loved a Super Bowl party.

Jane’s excitement continued to grow as the Pats continued to score over and over again. She was biting her thumb as the fourth quarter came down to the wire. There was less than one minute left when the Patriots scored on one of the best drives Jane had ever seen. The score was now 28-26 and the Patriots needed to make a two-point conversion. Everyone’s eyes were glued to the TV as the pass was completed to Amendola. The quarter ended in a 28-28 tie sending the Super Bowl into its first ever overtime. Everyone in Jane’s apartment was pumped.

“No one is that lucky,” Jeff said to Jane. “No way the Pats can keep this going. Coming back from 25 points down, that has to be the biggest comeback in Super Bowl History.”

“That’s why Tom Brady is called the ‘Comeback Kid,’” Jane shot back with a smirk. “We’re gonna win this game. Brady’s the best in these situations.”

Jane was on cloud nine when White ran into the endzone for the touchdown ending the game in overtime.

“Yes, Patriots win 34 to 28!” Jane said to no one in particular. “Seriously, best Super Bowl ever!”

After the game, everyone headed out since they all had to work the next day. Jane cringed as she looked around at the mess. She hated cleaning. As much as she was trying not to think about Maura, she couldn’t resist thinking about the look on her face if she could see Jane’s apartment, so Jane sent her a text…

* * *

_Maura’s POV_

Maura sat alone on her couch. She felt like her childhood and her adult life were colliding to make her miserable. Never before had she watched a sporting event alone and yet she just watched an entire football game by herself. Growing up, Maura was always alone, but she never watched sports. As an adult, she watched sports all the time, but she was never alone – at least once she became friends with Jane. But now, Jane was in Virginia and Maura was alone again. Well, technically she wasn’t alone; she was engaged to Ian. She looked down at her engagement ring. She _knew_ she should be excited, happy, but all she felt was emptiness.

She knew she had made a mistake. In fact, she had known she was making a mistake as she said yes to Ian’s proposal, but everyone had been watching. She knew what they expected and all she knew how to do was what was expected of her. Jane was the only person to ever encourage her to do what _she_ wanted rather than what was expected of her, but Jane was gone. Jane had only congratulated her after her engagement. Part of her, the most cowardly part, had hoped that Jane would tell her it was a mistake, but Jane hadn’t done that – not immediately after the engagement nor any of the times they had talked since. They hadn’t talked much, though. Jane had pulled back. Maura supposed she had a new life in Virginia that didn’t include Maura. She should be happy for her best friend, but the reality was that she just missed Jane. Sometimes she wondered if Jane was talking to her less due to the engagement, but she was probably just projecting her own feelings onto Jane. She was the one who wanted to be with Jane, not the other way around. Besides, Jane had begun pulling back before Christmas; her lack of contact just became harder for Maura as time went on.

Maura felt the tears begin to slip down her face. She was tired of holding in her feelings. Plus, Ian wouldn’t be home tonight – he was visiting one of the other MEND clinics for Hope – and it was unlikely Angela or anyone else would come over. Therefore, she let go. She let herself cry, sob really. She grieved for her friendship with Jane.

After a while, she pulled herself together, rinsed her wine glass out in the sink, checked the locks, and headed upstairs. She needed to move on. Jane would never be hers. She should just be happy with what she has. She wanted a family and Ian was willing to provide that. Maybe she wasn’t in love. For years, she had thought she loved Ian, but only weeks after he moved in, she realized that she had only been in love with the possibilities that Ian represented – the possibility of loving and being loved, the possibility of having a family of her own. She was past the point of no return, though. She didn’t know how to stop the momentum of her and Ian’s relationship. She also wasn’t sure if she wanted to. This relationship was probably the best she was going to get. She was selfish to want more.

Maura’s thoughts continued to spiral as she took a shower to wash off the tears. After drying her hair and brushing her teeth, she crawled into bed. Looking at her phone to make sure her alarm was set for the next day, she smiled when she noticed Jane had sent her a text. It included a selfie of Jane standing in front of a massive mess in her apartment – clearly she had a Super Bowl party – with a frown on her face with a caption: **_I miss your obsessive cleaning!_**

Maura smiled and replied: **_Have a fun evening?_**

Jane: **_Best Super Bowl EVER!!!_**

Maura: **_I watched. The Patriots played very well._**

Jane: **_I agree, but I think my friends hate me now._**

Maura: **_???_**

Jane: **_They’re not Pats fans. I’m not sure I like them anymore either._** ** _😉_**

Maura: **_Oh, I see._**

Jane: **_Most people would type ‘OIC’_**

Maura: **_I’m not most people._**

Jane: **_Haha, no you are not, and you better stay that way._**

Jane: **_I should start cleaning, or I won’t finish before work tomorrow._**

Maura: **_Good luck!_**

Jane: **_Goodnight, Maur. <3_**

Maura: **_Goodnight, Jane._**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to those of you who hate Tom Brady and/or the Patriots. I know there are a lot of you out there. I’m a Michigan fan (Brady’s alma mater, where he originally earned the title “comeback kid”) so I couldn’t resist including this Super Bowl, especially given the Patriots are likely Jane’s NFL team (I don’t think the show ever referenced the Pats; they always focused on baseball/the Red Sox, but I could be wrong.).


	7. Frankie and Nina's Wedding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: Mentions of Jane’s previous miscarriage

_Friday after the Super Bowl_

_Jane’s POV_

Jane was nervous. She wasn’t really sure what to expect. Greg would be at her apartment at 7pm. He was bringing the beer and she had ordered the pizza. It wasn’t really a date, at least not in her mind and she was pretty sure Greg was on the same page. On the other hand, she was pretty sure he was expecting something more than pizza and beer. She didn’t do one-night stands, but this wasn’t a one-night stand – they were friends. Did that mean this would be a friends with benefits relationship? She wasn’t sure how she felt about that either. To her, sex wasn’t a casual thing. Sure she had made some mistakes – sleeping with Cameron the first time he visited Boston came to mind – but generally she only had sex when she was in a relationship, a committed romantic relationship. Then again, it had been a _really_ long time since she had had sex and she didn’t see herself entering a serious romantic relationship anytime soon.

The doorbell pulled her from her thoughts. She let Greg in, and he set the beer on the counter.

“The pizza should be here any minute,” Jane told him.

“Great. Thanks. Want a beer?” he asked rhetorically as he handed her a beer.

“Thanks.” There was an awkward silence as neither of them knew what to do next.

“Sorry, this is weird.”

“Yeah,” Jane paused. “Um, so what were you thinking for tonight?”

“I didn’t really make a plan. Recently, I had just been thinking about how lonely I have been, but I don’t think I can start a healthy relationship with someone else while I’m still hung up on Kim. You seemed to be in the same situation. We absolutely do not have to do anything you don’t want to do. I’m not trying to pressure you into a relationship, but I guess I’m offering…well whatever you need.” They both knew what he meant; he meant meeting their mutual sexual needs without the emotional entanglement of a relationship but with the safety not offered by a one-night stand. Greg continued, “Let’s just start with a movie and see where this goes?”

“Sounds good,” Jane said as the doorbell rang again. They ate their pizza and drank while watching an action movie. As the credits rolled, Jane turned to Greg, “That offer still on the table?”

Greg leaned towards Jane and captured her lips. She responded in kind, letting her thoughts go as she gave into her needs.

This became their thing and it worked for them. Jane wasn’t proud of being in a friends with benefits relationship, but she wasn’t exactly ashamed either. At this point, she was just glad she wasn’t hurting someone else. They called it PBF for pizza, beer, and fucking. Whenever either of them needed a release they’d just text the other. They met at one of their places, one of them providing the beer and the other ordering the pizza. No one else had to know.

* * *

_Thursday, March 9, 2017: Two Days Before the Wedding_

_Jane’s POV_

Jane’s plane landed early in the afternoon on the Thursday before Frankie and Nina’s wedding. She took an Uber from the airport to the hotel where the wedding events would take place. Since both the rehearsal dinner and the wedding would be held at the hotel, it made sense for people to stay there as well, if they wanted to. Her immediate family and Nina’s mom were also arriving to the hotel on Thursday.

The group, which included Frankie and Nina’s closest family members, sat down for a friendly meal. After they were done eating, they all crowded into the newly wed suite since it was the only room big enough to hold everyone. They wouldn’t all be sleeping in the same room, but they had all been pulled into helping put together some of the decorations and the guest gifts. Nina, Angela, and Catherine coordinated everything. Jane and Frankie were assigned to two tasks: they had to wrap the mini chocolates in tulle and arrange the place cards that guests would pick up when they arrived at the ballroom. The place card indicated what table they should sit at and what meal they had ordered. Frankie and Jane decided to make a game out of guessing what each guest might have ordered. Jane was crushing Frankie.

“These are your guests, Frankie. You should be creaming me,” Jane said.

“Nina handled the invitations and making the place cards, so I don’t know what anyone ordered. Besides, I have never even heard of half of these people,” Frankie told her.

“What good are you then to the planning process?” Jane teased her brother.

“Oh, you just wait. You’ll see what it’s like _and_ you’ll be the bride. Ma is going to make you do everything. You’re going to go crazy,” Frankie said while he tried unsuccessfully to control his laughter.

“That’ll never happen. I highly doubt I’ll get married,” Jane said.

“You’ll find someone else eventually, Jane.”

“I don’t want to find someone else. Going through this heartache once is one too many times. I’m not doing it,” Jane said adamantly.

“Then you need to talk to Maura.” Frankie said to his sister, glad that no one else was around at the moment.

“I already told you that would never happen. I refuse to ruin her happiness. They’ve set a date; she’s getting married on September 2nd.

“Which means it’s not too late,” Frankie said. “But more importantly, she isn’t as happy as you think she is. I’m not sure why you are so convinced that she’s living her best possible life.” Frankie paused before adding, “And neither are you.”

Jane stared Frankie down in silence while she decided in which direction she wanted this conversation to go. Ultimately, she needed to know that Maura was happy. She needed to know what Frankie was talking about.

“Why are you so convinced she’s not living her best life? Why are you convinced she’s not happy?” Jane shot back at Frankie.

Frankie looked around the room. No one was paying attention to their conversation yet, but if Jane’s voice rose any more people would start to notice.

“Jane and I need a coffee break. We’re going to head downstairs, take a short walk, then hit the coffee shop in the lobby. You guys can text your orders to my or Jane’s phones. If you send it in the next ten minutes or so, we’ll get them and bring them back up hot.”

“Thanks,” rang out from around the room as Frankie and Jane headed out the door.

When they were far enough from the suite, Jane repeated her question, “Why do you think Maura isn’t happy?”

“Look, Jane, do you remember what she was like when you first started bringing her over for family events?”

“A little, I guess. She’s always been quirky and awkward around new people. I call it her Dr. Isles mask, when she’s textbook pleasant and polite, but those of us who know her know she’s hiding her real feelings and insecurities.”

Frankie sighed, “Well, lately, we’ve been seeing Dr. Isles a lot more than Maura.”

“I don’t understand,” Jane said. “She’s been comfortable around the family for years now. She’s part of the family. Ma even calls her a daughter.”

“I know, but she’s withdrawing,” was Frankie’s response. “I really don’t know how else to explain it.”

“Well, try,” Jane pushed.

“I don’t know, Jane. It’s like she’s just going through the motions, doing what’s expected of her. It’s not all the time. She seems more like herself when she and Nina are planning our wedding, but at other times she just seems like she’s uncomfortable in our presence.”

“Well, maybe that’s your fault,” Jane accused.

“It’s not and you know it,” Frankie said, and Jane knew he was right that it wasn’t their fault. But she wasn’t sure who’s fault it was. Maybe it was the opposite, though. Maybe she was withdrawing because she wanted to do more things with Ian and their own family. Maybe she was tired of Jane’s family, but she was too polite to decline their invitations.

Frankie just watched his sister as she fell deep into thought. Eventually, he couldn’t stand it anymore, though. “I’m sorry, Janie,” he said. “I’m not trying to upset you. I just really think you need to talk to her. It will be good for both of you.”

“I know you weren’t trying to upset me,” Jane said. “I’m just not really sure what to think.” After a pause, Jane added, “Let’s head to Starbucks.” Frankie knew Jane was ending the conversation so he let her lead the way to the coffee shop in silence.

* * *

_Friday, March 10, 2017: Rehearsal Dinner_

_Nina’s POV_

Nina, Maura, and Tina were sitting in the corner of the room where the rehearsal dinner had just finished. Earlier in the day, the wedding party had gone through the rehearsal for the wedding ceremony before meeting the rest of their family and some out of town guests at the restaurant where they were holding the rehearsal dinner. They had a private room, which was a good idea considering how loud the Rizzolis can get! Most of the guests had left to return to their homes or to the hotel.

Nina smiled. Angela had brought her mother Catherine into the fold, introducing her to all of her friends and family. She could see her mom laughing at a story Carla Talucci was telling her and Kiki. She loved seeing her mom fit in so well with the Rizzolis and their friends.

“I don’t know the last time I’ve seen Aunt Catherine laugh this much,’ Tina said to Nina, pulling her from her thoughts.

“I know. The Rizzolis really know how to make people feel like family,” Nina said. “I’m glad my mom is enjoying herself. To be honest, I think she likes being around a big, loud family again. It’s just been the two of us for years now.”

“I know what you mean,” Maura added. “I felt the same way when they took me in.”

“Sorry if this is a rude question, but I’ve actually been wondering how you’re related to the Rizzolis,” Tina asked Maura.

Nina laughed as Maura responded, “I’m not technically related to the Rizzolis. Not that that has ever really mattered. Jane, Frankie’s older sister, is my best friend.”

“Yeah, and Frankie and Tommy both tried to date her,” Nina added, still laughing.

Maura turned bright red, “Frankie told you about that?”

“Yeah, but we all know you’ve always been Jane’s,” Nina said. She wondered if Maura would acknowledge that she meant as more than a best friend.

“Jane is my best friend,” Maura repeated.

“Then why does it sound like you’re trying to convince yourself of that?” Tina asked.

Maura sighed. She didn’t know what to say. “She is my best friend; I’m just not sure I’m hers anymore,” Maura admitted quietly.

Nina was shocked by Maura’s admission. She had been expecting the opposite. It was obvious to her that Maura and Jane loved each other but were too cowardly to admit it. She knew Maura didn’t think Jane loved her that way, but she wasn’t expecting Maura to think that she wasn’t still Jane’s best friend.

“What are you talking about?” Nina asked.

“We rarely talk anymore,” Maura told her. “She never calls or texts me. I feel like I’m always the one initiating any conversations we have. She has a new group of friends in Quantico.” Maura sounded sad, but she quickly added, “Don’t get me wrong. I’m happy she has friends there and that she is happy in Virginia. I suppose I just thought we would still be close even as she made new friends. I’m being silly, though.” Maura also knew she had probably had a little too much wine. Otherwise, she would never be saying these things out loud.”

“Maybe you should talk to her,” Tina said.

“I think you need to visit her _and_ talk to her,” Nina said.

“I’ve been wanting to visit. We haven’t been able to find a weekend that works for both of us. Obviously, I can’t go when I’m working or on call, and we’ve had wedding planning events most of the other weekends.”

“Well, I do know how time-consuming wedding planning is,” Nina laughed. She decided to go with the change of topic. She didn’t want to make Maura any more uncomfortable than she already was, but she was glad she had been able to suggest visiting Jane. Jane and Maura both needed some time just the two of them.

“Oh, yes. It really is,” Maura said, and she launched into a full recount of everything she still had to do.

After a while, Ian walked over to them. “Maura, dear. Should we head out?”

“Sure,” Maura replied to Ian. Turning to Nina and Tina, she added, “I will see you both bright and early tomorrow.” Maura was really looking forward to Frankie and Nina’s wedding. She would be meeting Nina, Tina, Angela, Catherine, and Jane in the morning for hair and makeup. Jane would then spend the afternoon with Frankie and Tommy getting ready before they all met up again at the church for the ceremony. The reception would be held later in the evening in the hotel ballroom. Most of the wedding party was staying at the hotel tonight and tomorrow night, but Maura preferred her own bed whenever possible, so they had decided not to get a hotel room.

Maura and Ian said goodbye to the remaining guests before heading home.

* * *

_Saturday, March 11, 2017: Wedding Day_

_Frankie’s POV_

Frankie had never been happier. The ceremony and reception had gone off without a hitch. It probably helped that Nina was a generally calm person and wasn’t easily flustered. Small snafus didn’t bother her, so they didn’t bother Frankie either. The reception was nearing it’s end as Frankie walked over to one of the standing cocktail tables where Jane, Tommy, and Nina were talking.

“I’m exhausted,” Frankie said as he walked up.

“Hopefully, not too exhausted,” Nina said with a wink.

“Nope. Don’t want to hear it,” Jane added with a laugh.

“Yeah. There are kids around,” Tommy said as he looked around for TJ hoping the kid would save him from having to hear this conversation.

Frankie and Nina both laughed. “TJ is on the other side of the room,” Frankie said.

“Of course, he’s no where near me when I need him,” Tommy said. He was laughing now, too.

Jane rolled her eyes.

The conversation was mercifully ended when Maura and Ian walked up to their table.

“We’re leaving now,” Maura told the table at large. Turning to Frankie and Nina, she said, “This was a beautiful wedding. Thank you so much for letting me be a part of it.”

Nina stepped forward, giving Maura a hug, “Thank you for being here and thank you for being a wonderful maid-of-honor.”

Frankie gave Maura a hug next and shook Ian’s hand. “Thank you both for being here,” he told them.

“We will see all of you tomorrow for brunch,” Ian said. “And congratulations, again.”

Maura and Ian turned to leave. As they walked out, Jane couldn’t take her eyes off of Maura.

“Jane…Jane…Earth to Janie!” Tommy was trying to get her attention.

“What?” Jane asked. “Sorry, what were you saying?”

Tommy looked back and forth between Jane and the door through which Maura and Ian had just left. “Where did you go just now? OH MY GOD!”

Jane whipped her head around to look Tommy in the eyes. Frankie and Nina were both trying to hold back their laughter.

“OH MY GOD! How long?” Tommy asked.

“I don’t know what you are talking about…” Jane tried.

“You…Maura…OH MY GOD!” Tommy ran his hands through his hair. “Everything makes so much for sense now. Seriously, how long?”

Jane stayed silent, so Frankie cut in, “Seriously, Tommy. You are just now figuring this out? It’s been years.”

“No, no. What are you talking about?” Jane asked panicking.

“Jane…” Frankie started.

“No,” Jane cut him off, but Tommy cut her off.

“You love Maura,” Tommy said.

Jane cringed and put her head in her hands leaning against the table. She did not want to have this conversation.

“Really, Tommy. How have you not known?” Frankie asked. Nina was still trying to hold in her laughter. She felt bad for Jane; she really did, but Tommy’s reaction was priceless.

“I mean, I wondered back when I first met Maura, but then nothing happened,” Tommy explained. “Then I was gone for a few years and Jane moved away right when I got back. I dunno. I guess I just haven’t thought about it much since being back.”

Frankie laughed, “Alright, I guess we can give you a pass.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Tommy said, turning to Jane. “You have to tell her. She’s planning a wedding.”

Jane finally looked up, “I’m not telling her anything.”

“What?” Tommy almost yelled.

“Good luck with this,” Nina said to Tommy. “We’ve all been trying.”

Jane glared at Frankie. It was one thing to know that he talked to Nina about her; it was another thing to hear about it.

Tommy wasn’t backing down though, “Come on, Jane. How can you not tell her? You tell her everything.”

“Not this,” Jane said.

“I’m sure she feels the same way,” Tommy continued.

“She doesn’t. She loves Ian. She’s marrying Ian,” Jane said.

“This has become her new mantra,” Frankie joked. His sister way not amused though. Becoming more serious, he added, “Seriously, though, Jane, we all think you should talk to her.”

“You really should,” Nina commented.

“No!” Jane said firmly. “I’m not going to be that person who tries to ruin their best friend’s relationship just because they love them.”

“Jane…” Tommy started.

“No, stop,” Jane said, and she turned on her heel, leaving the conversation.

Tommy turned and raised an eyebrow at Frankie and Nina.

“I know,” Nina said. “Honestly, they are both being ridiculous. Maura’s the same way.”

Tommy wanted to continue the conversation, but they had to drop it when more people walked up to say goodbye and offer their congratulations to Frankie and Nina. He internally shook his head at his sister. What was her problem, Tommy wondered?

* * *

_Sunday, March 12, 2017: Brunch_

_Maura’s POV_

Maura glanced around her home to make sure everything was clean and ready to go. She was expecting Angela to be here any minute now to set up for the post-wedding brunch. The brunch was primarily for family and for out of town guests. Maura wasn’t sure how many people to expect since Angela was planning the event, but she was happy to offer her home.

Angela let herself in the back door, already carrying an armful of food.

“Oh, Angela, let me help you, please,” Maura said taking some of the items from the top. “Is there more to bring over?”

“Just a few more things.” Angela responded. “Everything is on the counter in the guest house.”

Maura headed to the guest house to help Angela bring the rest of the stuff over. Once they had everything, Maura asked, “Would you like coffee, Angela.”

“That would be wonderful. Thank you,” Angela said.

After pouring a cup for both of them, Maura asked Angela if she could help with anything. Angela immediately gave her a task; she was grateful Maura was so willing to help.

Maura and Angela worked seamlessly, side-by-side getting everything ready. Ian eventually joined them, but mostly tried to stay out of the way, recognizing that the two women had everything under control.

Maura heard the front door open as Jane walked in. Having stayed at the hotel where the wedding was held, she had her suitcase with her.

“Hey, Maur. Is there somewhere I can put my suitcase?” Jane asked. “I’m heading right from here to the airport.”

“Hi, Jane. Of course. Why don’t you put it in the yoga room?”

“Thanks,” Jane responded. She disappeared down the hall to deposit her bag. Returning to the kitchen, she greeted her mother with a hug, “Hi, Ma.”

“Hi, Janie. How late did you stay up last night?”

Jane rolled her eyes, “Seriously, Ma?”

Maura and Angela both laughed. “I’ll always be your mother,” Angela responded.

“I got enough sleep and I’m no longer drunk,” Jane told her. “Let’s leave it at that.”

Still laughing, Angela responded, “Okay, but you have to help.” And she set Jane to work preparing for the guests.

A few hours later, Jane was looking for her mother. She needed to start saying her goodbyes if she was going to make it to the airport on time. Rizzolis could never make goodbyes quick and there were a _lot_ of Rizzolis currently invading Maura’s house. Jane found her mother talking to two of her aunts, Maura, Ian, and Tommy.

“Hey, Ma. I need to start heading out,” Jane said to her mother. “I’m going to say goodbye to everyone and call an Uber to the airport.”

Maura interrupted, “Actually, Jane, I’ll drive you to the airport.”

Surprised, Jane responded, “Oh, thanks, but I don’t want to take you away from here. You’re hosting.”

Deciding Jane probably wouldn’t want her mother and aunts’ opinions on her relationship with Maura, Tommy distracted them by pointing out whatever TJ was doing. It worked on for the three women, but Ian continued to watch Maura and Jane’s conversation with a barely contained look of contempt.

“I’m not hosting. Your mother is,” Maura said matter-of-factly.

“Well, it is your house,” Jane pointed out.

“It’s your mother’s house too and this is her event. She’s hosting, so let me drive you to the airport. It’s unnecessary for you to take an Uber,” Maura said. “Plus, I didn’t get to spend very much time with you this weekend. I mean, I know you were here for the wedding; we both were, but I figured we could at least talk on the way to the airport.”

Jane couldn’t say no to Maura, especially when all she wanted was Jane’s time. Jane could tell that Ian was annoyed though.

“Okay, thanks, Maur. I still have to say goodbye to everyone. Can we leave in about fifteen minutes?”

“Perfect.”

“Thanks,” Jane responded before making the rounds. She managed to say goodbye to everyone, and she and Maura made it to the car about 20 minutes later – this was better than Jane expected.

“Thanks again for driving me to the airport,” Jane said to Maura once they were on the road.

“Of course, Jane. You should have just asked.”

There was a comfortable silence as Maura headed towards the freeway. After a while, Maura added, “I met your godmother.”

Jane laughed, “I feel like the only possible response is an apology.”

“Don’t be silly. She was very nice.”

“And very loud and overbearing.”

“Jane be nice,” Maura said smiling. Maura continued, “Would I have been your baby’s godmother?”

This question caught Jane off guard. Even before she moved, she and Maura rarely talked about her pregnancy and miscarriage. Now that they were barely talking, this was the last thing she expected Maura to bring up.

“Um, I don’t know,” Jane said uncomfortably. “I hadn’t really thought about it yet.”

“Well, you asked if I would care for your child if something happened to you. Taking in a child when the parent or parents cannot is one traditional role for a godparent. On the other hand, Catholic tradition dictates that godparents should foster and guide the child’s spiritual life. Catholicism also requires godparents to be confirmed Catholics, which I am not.” Maura was rambling now, and she knew it. She had no idea why she had brought up this topic. When she met Jane’s godmother, she couldn’t help but wonder. But now, Jane wasn’t saying anything, and Maura was regretting starting the conversation.

“I really don’t know what to say,” Jane said.

“Do you think you would have taken the more practical route or the religious route?” Maura asked. “I suppose the position of godparent could also be symbolic.”

“I’m not really sure, but it’s not like I’m a very good Catholic,” Jane replied quietly. She didn’t really think this statement through before it slipped out. In her head, she was referring to her love for a woman, but Maura clearly interpreted her comment differently.

“So you would have gone the traditional route of someone to care for your child and you asked me to care for your child. Therefore…” Maura trailed off.

Jane was getting upset now. She really did not want to talk about this. “I don’t know, Maura,” she said much louder than she expected. “Can we please not talk about this now?”

“But why…” Maura started.

“Seriously, Maura. I don’t want to talk about this.”

Maura knew she was wrong to bring up this topic, but she couldn’t deny that Jane’s response hurt. Maybe she shouldn’t have asked, but why wouldn’t Jane just say whether or not she would have asked Maura to be a godparent? Had they really grown that far apart? And if they had, could Jane not even acknowledge that they had been close at that time? Maura was trying not to cry while driving or while Jane was still in the car. They stayed silent for the rest of the car ride.

When Maura pulled up to the departures’ drop-off, Jane said stiffly, “Thanks for driving me to the airport and thanks for all of your help with the wedding.”

“Of course, Jane. Your family is still my family,” Maura said sadly. “Have a safe flight.”

“Thanks,” Jane said as she got out of the car. She waved back at Maura as she walked through the door, but Maura was no longer looking at her. Maura cried the entire drive back to her house. She had to park a few blocks away from her house to clean up to hide her tears. She didn’t want anyone at her house to ask her what was wrong.

* * *

_Jane’s POV_

Jane found an open seat in the corner of the airport where she could still see her gate. She put her head in her hands. She felt terrible after her conversation with Maura. She wanted to cry, but Jane Rizzoli did _not_ cry in public. She needed a distraction, so she pulled out her phone and text Greg: **_PBF 7pm Friday?_**

Greg responded: **_Sure. My place this time? I’ll order the pizza._**

Jane: **_I’ll bring the beer._**

Despite her attempts to distract herself, Jane continued to think about Maura as she boarded the plane and found her seat. Of course, she hadn’t told Maura the truth; she couldn’t do that. But she also couldn’t lie to her. The problem was this led to an even worse misunderstanding than had Jane just lied to Maura. She should have just told Maura she would have been her baby’s godmother, but the truth was, she didn’t want Maura to be the baby’s godmother. She wanted her to be the baby’s mother. She knew it was stupid, she never would have had the courage, even back then, to ask that of Maura. It wouldn’t even have been a fair ask. Who asks their best friend to co-parent with them? They weren’t in a relationship, even if that was _really_ what Jane wanted. She wanted a family with Maura. Instead, she and Maura were drifting apart, and she had just made her best friend feel as though Jane didn’t think she was an important enough part of her life to be her baby’s godparent.

Jane barely made it through her front door before she broke down. She may not cry in public, but she couldn’t stop herself from crying in private.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry! I know you all hate me right now. Only one more though; then it will get better.


	8. Disappointments and Surprises

_Early-April_

_Maura’s POV_

Maura was just finishing up an autopsy when her phone alerted her to a text. She glanced at the screen and saw that it was from Jane. She smiled; it was so rare now that Jane text her out of the blue. She wasn’t really sure what she had done to drive Jane away. She had gone back through their interactions around Thanksgiving since that is when Jane’s behavior changed the most abruptly. It had gotten worse since then. She knew she should ask Jane about it, but she was afraid to. While she was somewhat afraid of the answer, she was more afraid that Jane would just tell her she had moved on and didn’t need Maura as her best friend anymore.

Maura finished cleaning up and changed back into her professional attire before retrieving her phone from the autopsy room and stepping into her office. She opened the text message from Jane: **_How is wedding planning going?_**

Maura decided to call Jane instead of texting her back.

Jane answered right away, “Hey, Maur.”

“Hi, Jane. Is now a good time for you?”

“Sure. I’m at home, grading, like always,” Jane laughed. “So, tell me, how is the wedding planning going?”

“It’s going well,” Maura said. “We’ve got everything pretty much book and we’ve finalized our guest list. We did decide, though, to not have a wedding party. I had wanted you, Nina, and Cailin to stand up with me, but Ian didn’t have anyone he wanted to stand up with him. He also said that since we are older and settled, we don’t need to have things like a wedding shower or bachelor and bachelorette parties, which are some of the primary jobs for the wedding party. I’m not against a smaller wedding and I don’t really care about the shower or bachelorette party, but I did want you to stand up with me. I don’t want to make Ian uncomfortable, though.

Jane was both hurt and relieved, but she had to put on a face for Maura, “That makes sense. A small wedding will probably be nice.”

“I’d still like you to help me get ready that day; if you’re willing.”

“Yeah, let’s figure it out closer to the date, okay?” Jane asked.

“Sure, of course.”

“Tell me about the venue. I’m sure it’s beautiful.”

“Yes. I think it will be very nice,” Maura said, and she continued to tell Jane about the location they had chosen. After talking about the wedding for a while, she pivoted the conversation to talk more about Jane’s classes and recruits. Overall, it was a good conversation, despite the awkward start. Maura left the office happy that evening.

* * *

_A Wednesday in late-May_

Jane stopped home to change after work. She was planning to join her friends for trivia that evening, something she had really come to enjoy. Just as she finished changing, her phone started ringing.

Grabbing her phone, Jane was surprised to see that Constance Isles was calling her. Worried something had happened to Maura, Jane quickly answered the call.

“Hello,” Jane said.

“Hello, Jane. This is Constance Isles.”

“Hi. Is everything alright? Is Maura okay?” Jane asked.

“Oh, yes. Sorry. I didn’t mean to alarm you. Maura is fine, but she doesn’t know I’m calling you.”

“Oh, okay,” Jane said, still confused.

“How is working for the FBI?” Constance asked.

“Um, it’s fine, but Constance, I don’t mean to be rude, but why are you calling?”

“Sorry. I was stalling, obviously. I’m actually calling because I was wondering what you thought about Ian.”

Jane was very confused by this conversation but decided to play along – at least for now. Constance had never reached out to her before. “Oh, well. Maura loves him,” Jane said. “He doesn’t like me much though, so I don’t like him…for that reason.” Jane cringed. She didn’t mean to be that honest.

“But, you’re important to Maura,” Constance pushed.

“And she’s important to me, incredibly important, which is why I won’t let my dislike of Ian ruin her happiness. She’s loved him for years. She told me once he was the love of her life. I won’t take that away from her by telling her my opinion of Ian.”

“Have you talked to her?”

“We still talk sometimes, but she’s busy with work and wedding planning and I’m busy with the FBI.”

“I meant had you talked to her about how you feel?” Constance asked.

“I won’t do that. Like I said, I care more about her happiness,” Jane replied.

“You’re essential to her happiness to, though, Jane. I hope you know that. With or without Ian, you’re unbelievably important to her.”

Jane didn’t know what to say, “Well, I think she will be here for my birthday. I’ll see what I can do.”

“Thank you, Jane. I just don’t want Maura to lose you, or for you to lose her. I’ll let you go though. I’m sorry for bothering you.”

“Oh, no. You aren’t bothering me. You are welcome to call me anytime,” Jane said.

“Thank you, Jane. Have a good night,” Constance told her.

“You too,” Jane said before hanging up and finishing getting ready to go out.

A few hours later, Jane walked into the bar and searched for her friends. It was a smaller group this time, probably due to some of the training groups still conducting exams. Claire, Laura, and Jeff were sitting at the table when Jane arrived.

“Anyone else coming?” Jane said to the table at large.

Jeff laughed, “Hey we aren’t good enough?”

Jane and the rest of the table joined in on his laughter. Claire was the next to speak, adding, “Actually having four of us works out since teams for trivia are limited to four players per team. If more people came, we’d have to split up.”

“True, but then we’d have more entries and therefore more chances to win,” Laura added.

Jane laughed but looked down when she felt her phone vibrate against her hip. It was Maura.

Jane looked up to address her friends, “This is Maura. I’m going to get this.”

“Hey, Maur. Hold on. I’m just going to step outside so I can hear you better.”

“Okay,” Maura said. She paused, waiting for Jane to talk again.

“Alright, I’m outside,” Jane told her.

“Hi, Jane. Sorry, is now a bad time?” Maura asked.

“It’s okay. What’s up?”

“Oh, um, well…” Maura started.

“Maura, why are you calling and why are you stalling?” Jane asked.

“I can’t come down to Quantico for your birthday,” Maura blurted out quickly.

“Oh…” Jane said.

“Ian’s parents are coming to Boston that weekend to do a few things for the wedding. I’ve never met them, and this is likely my only chance before the wedding.”

“Oh, yeah, of course,” Jane feigned indifference.

“I’m sorry, Jane. I really wanted to be there,” Maura continued.

“I know, but you need to meet your future in-laws,” Jane said. “Besides, there will already be a ton of people here for my birthday. My whole family is coming. I’d rather get to spend one-on-one time with you, so I’d rather you come a different weekend when it can just be the two of us.” Jane was being truthful about that. If she couldn’t have Maura here for both her birthday and another weekend, she would rather Maura came when it could just be the two of them.”

“Thank you, Jane,” Maura said, relieved. “We will definitely find another weekend when I can visit and we can have time just the two of us. I’ll look at my calendar and send you some weekends.”

“That sounds great,” Jane paused when she heard the trivia announcer from inside the bar give the five-minute warning. “Hey, Maur. I’m going to go back inside. We’re playing trivia and they are about to start.”

“Oh, have fun! And thank you, Jane.”

“No problem. We’ll find a weekend that works. Bye!”

“Goodbye, Jane,” Maura said as she hung up.

Jane headed back into the bar for trivia. Their team came in second place.

* * *

 _Monday, July 10, 2017_ _– Tuesday, July 11, 2017_

_Jane’s POV_

Jane was exhausted when she got home on Monday. There were only three weeks left for this recruitment class and the recruits were starting to stress about their finals. Deciding she was too tired to cook, Jane threw her mail down on her counter before grabbing her phone to order take-out.

While waiting for her food, Jane changed, grabbed a beer, brought her mail to the couch, and turned on the TV. Landing on SportsCenter, Jane turned to her mail. Rifling through the spam mail and bills, Jane noticed a fancy envelope. Her heart immediately sank knowing what was likely inside.

Deciding to bite the bullet, Jane put down the other mail and opened the envelope. Like she thought, Maura’s wedding invitation was inside. Jane threw her head back against the couch closing her eyes and pinching the bridge of her nose in frustration.

Hearing the doorbell, Jane threw the invitation on her table and went to get her food. She decided she need another beer before she could deal with the invitation.

By lunch the next day, Jane still hadn’t filled out the invitation. She sat in her office ignoring her lunch – leftovers from last night – and stared at the invitation. She was fighting with herself. How could she miss her best friend’s wedding? Could she really do that to Maura? On the other hand, could she really survive going to this wedding? No, she couldn’t do that to herself. Checking the “no” box, she immediately put the RSVP card in the provided envelope and headed down the hall to put it in the mailbox before she could change her mind.

After she dropped the envelope in the mailbox, Jane pulled her phone out and text Greg: **_PBF 7pm Friday, my place._**

Greg responded: **_I’ll bring the beer._**

* * *

_Friday, July 14, 2017_

_Jane’s POV_

Jane was already lounging in front of the TV when Greg arrived on Friday evening. Hearing the doorbell ring, Jane got up, muted the TV, and let him in. Greg headed to the kitchen to put the beer in the fridge, pulling two out, one for himself and one for Jane.

“How was your week?” Greg asked.

“Eh, it was alright,” Jane said with little enthusiasm.

Greg could read Jane’s distress, “So what made you suggest PBF this week?”

“I received Maura’s wedding invitation on Monday,” Jane said deciding she was too exhausted to lie.

“Oh, I’m sorry, Jane,” Greg said.

“I RSVP’d no,” Jane told him.

“Seriously, Jane. I know how you feel about her, but isn’t this just going to hurt her, not having her best friend at her wedding?” Greg continued, “You’ve said from the beginning that the last thing you want to do is hurt her. That’s why you won’t tell her how you feel. Now you’re just hurting both of you.” Greg paused to let that sink in.

_Flashback_

_Jane and Greg had met up a few times for PBF. Jane didn’t feel great about it, but she was tired of being alone. They were at Greg’s place eating pizza and drinking while watching a baseball game._

_“You know,” Greg started, “You don’t talk about Maura as often as you used to.”_

_“Is that a question?” Jane asked._

_“No. It’s merely an observation. I know how hard it is to keep this type of thing inside.”_

_Jane turned to look at him. “It is,” she admitted quietly._

_“So talk to me,” Greg pushed, but Jane didn’t say anything, so Greg continued. “I never meant to fall in love with Kim. It just happened. We were just friends and I thought that was all I wanted. It wasn’t until she met her husband that I knew I had fallen for her.”_

_“I’ve loved Maura for years, but she’s also my best friend. I couldn’t – I can’t – ruin that.”_

_“Doesn’t seem like you have much of a friendship left,” Greg interrupted._

_Jane rolled her eyes and ignored the statement, “She’s the world’s most honest person. She can’t lie; like she literally cannot lie. She gets hives and passes out. And she has no filter, so I would have known if she wanted anything more than friendship. She wouldn’t be able to lie about it and she wouldn’t be able to hold it in.”_

_“Maybe she’s afraid of coming out of the closet,” Greg said._

_“No, she’s bisexual. I’ve known that basically the entire time I’ve known her. As far as I know she’s only dated men in recent years, but she had girlfriends in the past, including in high school and med school. Her parents don’t care, and she knows none of us care.”_

_“Does she know you’re into women?” Greg asked._

_“Honestly, I don’t know, but if she was interested, she would have said something,” Jane insisted._

_“There are some flaws in your logic,” Greg said._

_“Whatever,” Jane said, effectively ending the conversation._

Greg calling her name pulled Jane back to the present. “Sorry, I was thinking,” Jane said quietly.

“Is it that you don’t want to go alone? I’ll be your plus one. It doesn’t have to mean anything.”

“Greg, you’re too nice for your own good. My mother would eat you alive though. But going alone isn’t really the problem. The problem is me. I don’t know how I can possibly watch the love of my life marry the love of hers.”

“I’m sorry, Jane. I didn’t mean to ruin the night,” Greg said.

“No, no, it’s fine. Let’s just move on. The pizza should be here soon; do you want to pick out a movie? No horror and no romcoms. They laughed as they tried to agree on a movie, which turned out to be an especially difficult task this week. They were still laughing when the doorbell rang.

Jane stood up and pulled cash out of her back pocket, “That’s probably the pizza.” As she walked towards the door she noted, “Wow, they were fast today.”

“Very fast,” Greg added from his position on the couch.

Jane opened the door to the last person she expected to be standing there.

“Maura,” Jane said in a whisper so quiet only Maura could hear her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Constance is a bit OOC here, but I always wanted more from her relationship with Maura. The conversation with Jane probably seems random right now, but she will come back later in the fic.


	9. Finally Talking, Pt 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m posting this immediately after the previous chapter, so if you are like me and just click on the last chapter when a fic is updated, make sure to read the last chapter too. I decided to split this chapter into two so that I didn’t leave everyone hanging after the last chapter. In this chapter, we’ll find out why Maura is in Virginia. The next chapter will pick up right where this one leaves off.

_“No, no, it’s fine. Let’s just move on. The pizza should be here soon; do you want to pick out a movie? No horror and no romcoms. They laughed as they tried to agree on a movie, which turned out to be an especially difficult task this week. They were still laughing when the doorbell rang._

_Jane stood up and pulled cash out of her back pocket, “That’s probably the pizza.” As she walked towards the door she noted, “Wow, they were fast today.”_

_“Very fast,” Greg added from his position on the couch._

_Jane opened the door to the last person she expected to be standing there._

_“Maura,” Jane said in a whisper so quiet only Maura could hear her._

Both women stood frozen in the door. Greg stood up and walked towards the door, “Is everything okay, Jane. Do you need more money for the pizza?”

“N..n..no,” Jane tried to respond, but she was so shocked she couldn’t get the words out of her mouth.

Maura on the other hand realized that Jane had someone at her house, probably on a date. She quickly said, “I’m so sorry, Jane. I didn’t realize you weren’t alone. It was stupid of me to assume.” As she finished her apologies, she swiftly tried to turn around and leave Jane’s front porch as fast as she could. Just as she was stepping down to the sidewalk, she felt Jane’s hand grab her wrist.

“No, Maura, don’t go. Please just come inside.” Jane pleaded.

Maura turned around, but she made no move towards the door nor did she say a word.

In the meantime, Greg had realized who the woman at Jane’s door was. He had gathered his things and put on his shoes. As he walked through the door, he said to Jane, “I’m going to head out. You can keep the beer. Have a good evening and text me tomorrow.”

“Thanks, Greg,” Jane said to him before turning back to Maura.

“Please come inside,” Jane said as she gently tugged on Maura’s wrist. Maura started walking forward and Jane ushered her through the door. However, Maura seemed frozen in the entryway. Jane walked around her so that she could face her. “Maura, what are you doing here? We didn’t have a planned visit, unless I missed something? Not that I’m complaining. I’m glad you’re here, just a little confused.” Jane’s voice rose as she started to panic, “Did something happen? Are you okay? Is Ma okay? Frankie, Tommy, TJ, Nina, Korsak…”

“Jane, Jane, stop,” Maura interrupted Jane’s panicked tirade. “Your family is okay. I promise. Everything back in Boston is just fine.”

“You avoided saying you were fine though…” Jane noticed. “What’s wrong?” Jane added as she took a step towards Maura.

Maura exhaled loudly, closed her eyes, and said, “You RSVP’d no to my wedding.”

“Oh,” Jane said as she quickly stepped away from Maura. “Yeah, I can’t be there. Please don’t tell me you can all the way down here to convince me to come to your wedding.”

Maura didn’t say anything. She could feel herself starting to panic. Taking a deep breath, Maura tried to continue, “No, I didn’t come here to convince you to come to my wedding. I came here because…” There was a long pause. Jane was confused, but Maura felt as though her emotions were going to explore out of her and they did.

“I didn’t come here to try to convince you to come to my wedding. I came here because I realized it was more important to me that you were at my wedding than whether Ian was at my wedding.”

“What?” Jane tried to ask.

But Maura wasn’t listening. The floodgates had opened, and she couldn’t stop her words now, “I broke off the engagement with Ian and kicked him out of the house. I’ve been an idiot, trying to make a family where there isn’t one. I should have learned as a child that you can’t make other people conform to your idea of a family.” Maura knew she was rambling, but she kept going anyway. It felt good to get this off her chest, “I couldn’t marry Ian. We didn’t want the same things. Besides, it was obvious to him that I didn’t love him. I’m not sure if I ever did. I think maybe I was in love with the possibility I thought he offered. But, the potential for a family isn’t worth losing you. You, Jane, are the most important person in my life. You are the person I need above everyone else. I know we’re in different places in our lives and all that, but I want to rebuild our friendship. Jane, I love you. I’m head over heels, crazy, lose my mind in love with you and I have been for years. I know you don’t feel the same way and I know you never could. I’m not asking you for anything more. All I want is to be friends again. I miss my best friend. I need my best friend. I…”

Jane stepped into Maura’s space and pushed her against the wall, cutting off her rant with a loving kiss. Just as Jane was going to deepen the kiss, she felt Maura’s whole body go limp. She took a step back without letting Maura fall and lowered her to the floor.

“Maura, Maura, can you hear me? Maur?” Just before Jane started to get hysterical, Maura opened her eyes.

“Hey, there. Are you okay?” Jane asked softly.

“Um, I think so,” Maura said as she tried to sit up.

“Oh no, don’t sit up yet. I don’t want you to lose consciousness again.”

“How long was I out?” Maura asked.

“Less than 30 seconds. Should I call you an ambulance?”

“No, I’ll be fine. It was likely a combination of my lack of nutrition and dehydration combined with swift changes in blood pressure.”

Jane looked confused, “Uh, in English please?”

Maura smiled, “My meal schedule is off today, and I haven’t been drinking enough water, hence suspected dehydration. Also, when I was talking, my blood pressure was relatively high as a result of anxiety. Then, my blood pressure dropped because…”

“Did you go vasovagal because you lied?” Jane asked, not sure if she actually wanted to hear the answer.

“No, Jane. I didn’t lie. I just don’t know how much of what happened actually happened vs what happened in my head while I was unconscious,” Maura said quietly.

DING DONG

“Seriously, they have the worst timing,” Jane said looking down at Maura who was still on the floor with a confused look on her face. “It’s the pizza.”

Jane jumped up, opened the door, gave the delivery guy way too much money, grabbed the pizza and shut the door all in under 5 seconds.

“Well, that was a bit rude, Jane. You should have been more polite with the delivery person.”

Jane placed the pizza on the coffee table before turning back to kneel next to Maura. “It’s fine. I gave him a huge tip. He’ll leave here happy.”

“But still…” Maura stopped when she saw Jane rolling her eyes.

“Now, where were we?” Jane asked with a smirk.

“I was saying I didn’t know what was real,” Maura started, but Jane didn’t let her finish as she leaned in to capture Maura’s lips in a sweet kiss.

“Does that help answer your question?” Jane said smiling.

Maura just laid there with her mouth hanging open. “You okay there, Maur?” Jane asked her.

“But..but, I…I thought…” Maura stuttered.

“Yeah, I thought too,” Jane said cryptically. “Here, let me help you lean against the wall.” Jane pulled Maura up so that she was in a sitting position against the wall. “I don’t think you’ll need these,” Jane added as she took Maura’s shoes and set them neatly by her purse near the entryway. “I’m going to get you water and orange juice. That’s good for you after you pass out, right?

“Yes, that would be perfect. Thanks,” Maura answered her.

“Good, because other than beer that’s pretty much all I have,” Jane told Maura as she headed to the kitchen. She brought the drinks back to Maura, “Here start with these. I’m going to go grab plates and napkins for the pizza. Then I’ll help you to the couch, okay?”

“I can move to the couch on my own,” Maura stated.

“Please, just let me help you,” Jane pleaded.

“Okay,” Maura conceded.


	10. Finally Talking, Pt 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to the reviewers who asked about a flashback of Maura receiving the RSVP card and deciding to leave Ian. I originally had that whole section in the Disappointments and Surprises chapter but took it out to make the end more of a surprise. I then moved it to this chapter as a flashback, but after people complained about too much Ian and too much angst, I had been considering deleting the whole section. I’m glad people are interested though, so I’ve included the flashback! Thank you to the reviewers who made that decision easier and to all of my reviewers!

Jane helped Maura over to the couch and helped her sit in one of the corners. She then plated pizza for both of them and made sure Maura still had plenty of water. Jane was incredibly nervous. Realizing she never actually asked Maura if she wanted pizza, Jane said, “Sorry, I just made an assumption. Would you like pizza – it’s pepperoni? Otherwise, we can order something else.”

“I’m fine with pizza, thank you,” Maura said. “I might explore your kitchen earlier to see if I can find anything healthy.”

“Ohh, good luck with that,” Jane said. This made Maura laugh releasing a little bit of the tension in the room.

“But before we eat, could I use the bathroom?” Maura asked.

“Of course. It’s down that hall on the right.” Jane waited for Maura on the couch and continued to nibble at her pizza. Jane was feeling very unsettled. Did Maura really love her? Did she really leave Ian? If she loved Jane, why did she agree to marry Ian? Okay, that would have been a hypocritical question since Jane was already in love with Maura when she was with Casey. but this leads to other questions. If Maura truly loves her, how long has she felt that way for or at least been aware of her feelings. Was Jane’s relationship with Casey hurting Maura as much as Maura’s relationship with Ian had hurt Jane?

Jane’s internal tirade continued. Jane has already been feeling like they’ve lost their friendship, but maybe Maura wants to save it too? On the other hand, what if they just make it worse; could it even get any worse than this? This year, especially the last few months have been the worst of her life. She liked teaching, but she didn’t see herself teaching long-term. She needs more action and variability than this. Plus, she likes her new friends here, but she won’t miss them anywhere as much as she’s missed Maura and her family this year. What did Maura really want? Friendship? Dating? Marriage and a Family?

Deciding she needed to distract her thoughts, she pulled out her phone and ordered two salads to be delivered from the deli down the street. Maura walked back into the room just as she finished placing the order.

“Jane, Jane, Jaaaaannne!” Maura called for her attention.

Shaking her head to pull herself out of her train of thoughts, she said, “Sorry, I was lost in thought.”

“I could see that. A penny for your thoughts?” Maura asked, not wanting to be the one to start the conversation.

But Jane didn’t want to start either, “You’re the one who came here unannounced. I think you need to tell me more about why you’re here and what you want for us.” That came out a little colder than Jane had intentioned, but she has really been hurting. It’s hard to keep that emotion from coming out.

“Yes, okay. I suppose that is fair.” Maura added, “I can leave though if now isn’t a good time.” Maura hated herself for trying to find an out.

“No. We need to talk. We’ve needed to talk for months. You came what 500 miles from Boston, and I kicked a guy out of my apartment. I think it’s safe to say both of us have the whole evening to talk.”

“Oh my god. I kicked your date out. I’m so sorry,” Maura said.

“We’ve already gone through this. It wasn’t a problem for him to leave. We can talk about him or whatever else you want to talk about _after_ we talk about our relationship and what is going on with you and Ian. So stop stalling and tell me why you’re here.”

“Well, I guess the easiest place to start is to say that my relationship with Ian is over, regardless of what happens between you and me.”

* * *

_Flashback – Earlier that same day_

_Maura’s POV_

_Nina walked into Maura’s office with her mail._

_“Hi, Maura. I grabbed your mail from the mailroom upstairs. I hope that’s okay,” she said as she handed Maura the pile._

_"Thank you, Nina,” Maura said. “We’ve had our RSVP cards sent here. It was a recommendation from a wedding planner during the ‘trial’ session. We didn’t end up going with him, but the recommendation had stuck with me. We decided to do that, but I actually would not recommend this way of doing it to other people planning their weddings. It’s just a bit weird to get this much personal mail at work. We’re allowed to get personal mail here. I checked.”_

_Nina laughed, “I have no doubt that you know all of the rules front to back.”_

_“Some guests were confused by the address, too.”_

_“Yeah, I can see that. Hopefully, anyone who can’t figure it out, would just ask. Otherwise, if it’s a small enough number that you haven’t received RSVPs from by the deadline, you can reach out to them directly. We had to do that, if you remember.”_

_“I do,” Maura said vaguely as she started opening the envelopes. “Do you want to help?” she asked Nina since there were so many handing her a few envelopes._

_“Sure, and I just create a pile?” Nina asked._

_“Yes, I’ll enter everything into my spreadsheet later. It’s just easier when they aren’t in the envelope.”_

_“That makes sense,” Nina said as she began opening envelopes._

_“A lot of people waited until the last minute to RSVP,” Maura commented._

_Nina laughed, “Not everyone is as organized as you are. You will get some late too.”_

_“I know but it frustrat…” Maura abruptly stopped talking._

_Noticing Maura’s change in demeanor, she looked up and asked, “What’s wrong?”_

_Maura didn’t answer, she just sat there in silence._

_“Maura, Maura, talk to me,” Nina pushed._

_“I have to go,” Maura said as she jumped up from behind her desk._

_Nina stepped in front of her, “You’re not going anywhere until I know you’re okay, so tell me what is going on or I will handcuff you to your desk.”_

_“You wouldn’t,” Maura said._

_“Want to try me?” Nina said, raising her eyebrows._

_Giving in and turning to lean against her desk, Maura said, “You’ve been spending too much time with the Rizzolis.”_

_“Maybe you haven’t been spending enough time with the Rizzolis. But it also comes from growing up on the southside of Chicago.”_

_“What do you mean I haven’t been spending enough time with the Rizzolis. I see Angela, Frankie, you, Tommy, and TJ all the time,” Maura defended._

_“I’ll explain my meaning after you explain your reaction to whatever was in that envelope.”_

_Maura looked down at the envelope and sighed. Looking up at Nina with tears threatening to fall, Maura said quietly, “Jane isn’t coming to my wedding.” Maura handed the RSVP card to Nina. While Nina was looking at it, Maura moved to sit on the couch and Nina followed her._

_“Maura, I’m sorry, but I’m sure there is an explanation,” Nina started._

_Before Nina could continue, Maura cut in, “No. There is no excuse good enough for this.” Maura was starting to get hysterical now, “She’s been pulling away all year. I get it, she doesn’t want me in her life anymore, but I thought she would never be mean enough to do this, to skip my wedding out of spite.”_

_"_ _Okay, Maura, stop,” Nina said calmly. “We have to stop skirting around the issue here.”_

_“What do you mean?” Maura asked sounding defeated._

_Nina took a deep breath. She hadn’t planned to have this conversation when she brought down the mail today, but apparently it was now or never._

_“You and Jane are two of the best people I know, but you are both being the biggest idiots right now. You’re both hurting each other, and it has to stop. You’re both miserable,” Nina told her._

_“But, I don’t understand…” Maura tried._

_“Okay, I’ll say this as bluntly as I possibly can. You are in love with Jane and Jane is in love with you. And, I don’t mean friendship love. I mean real romantic, she’s my soulmate love.”_

_Maura’s eyes went wide and her jaw dropped, “But..I don’t…I mean, I do, but…on my god!”_

_“Take a deep breath, Maura,” Nina said. Seeing that Maura was at least breathing relatively normally, even if the shock hadn’t fully worn off, Nina continued gently, “Jane may have been the one that moved away, but you have made it extremely difficult for her to maintain a relationship with you. It started in Paris, you left her what three days in a row during your last week there so you could be with Ian. You and Ian planned a trip during one of the few times she was in Boston. But, I think the worst was missing her birthday and at least not going immediately the weekend before or after. You haven’t even visited her yet and I’ve heard her ask you numerous times. I’m guessing she’s also asked you plenty of times in private or on the phone or through a text, as well. Plus, you’re flaunting your wedding and relationship with Ian in her face any chance you get. It’s fine for you to talk about those things. You’re marrying him, presumably you love him, then. I just think you should be a little more respectful of Jane’s feelings. The no maid-of-honor things was a really crappy thing to do to her.”_

_Maura hung her head, ashamed, as she tried to stop the tears._

_“I’m not trying to make you feel bad, but I do understand that that is what is happening. I just think you need to talk to Jane about all of this. I’ve said the same thing to her. She refuses to because she doesn’t want to interfere with your relationship with Ian. And you weren’t picking up my more subtle hits at the rehearsal dinner or random Sunday Dinners.”_

_“I don’t know what to do,” Maura said._

_“Well to start, do you want Jane to be a large part of your life, even if from afar?” Nina asked._

_“Yes, more than anything,” Maura answered quickly._

_“Okay, do you want to marry Ian?” Nina continued._

_Maura took longer to respond this time, “I want to get married.”_

_“Don’t think I didn’t notice that you didn’t really answer the original question. I’ll be even more direct. I’m not saying it has to be this way, but if it came down to it and you could only have Jane in your life or Ian in your life, who would you choose?”_

_“No one is going to make me choose,” Maura said in an attempt to not answer the question._

_“Well, from the looks of it, someone seems to be trying to make you choose. I don’t know if it’s really coming from you or if you’re feeling pressure from Ian or from Jane, but something is going on.”_

_Maura sighed. Then, looking Nina directly in the eye, “I’m not sure if someone is making me choose or if it’s true that someone is trying to influence my relationships, but I knew the answer to your original question the second you asked it.”_

_“And?” Nina asked._

_“I would pick Jane, hands down. I will always pick Jane. I guess I just thought I could have both my best friend and a family,” Maura said._

_“I think you can if you’re honest with yourself and with Jane about what you want. I don’t think Jane is trying to keep you from having a family even if it is with someone else, but what if you can have all that with Jane?”_

_"_ _What do you mean?” Maura asked._

_“You can trust me Maura. I’m not going to go telling anyone about this conversation, not even Frankie, because it is clear to me that you need someone to talk to. Whatever you decide to do with regards to Ian and/or Jane, I’ll always be here for you to talk to, but I think you’d still prefer to be talking to Jane. Which leads me back to my question, what if you could have everything, your best friend, a happy marriage, kids, grandkids – just don’t be as pushy as Angela please – a full life with Jane?”_

_Maura could no longer hold onto her tears. Nina moved closer to her to give her a hug while she cried. She knew Maura didn’t love physical comfort, but this seemed like a time it might do more good than harm._

_After a few minutes, Maura pulled back. She had stopped crying, but you could still hear the pain in her voice, “I want everything with Jane. I always have, but it’s not possible. She doesn’t feel the same. Besides she lives in a different state.”_

_“You need to talk to her. That is the only way you will actually know how she feels. What happened to Dr. Isles doesn’t guess?” Nina said with a smirk._

_Maura let out a soft laugh, “I don’t guess. It’s a hypothesis based on years of collecting evidence.”_

_“Circumstantial evidence?” Nina played along. “You know that won’t hold up in court. We need a confession.”_

_Maura laughed. Then, her eyes went wide again. She stood up quickly to gather her things and turned to Nina, “I’m taking the afternoon off. I’m going to break up with Ian. Whatever happens with Jane, being with Ian still isn’t the right choice. Then I’m going to talk to Jane. Really talk to her.”_

_“You go girl!” Nina said despite her surprise at Maura’s abrupt decision._

_“Thank you, but please don’t tell anyone anything. I want to be able to tell them when I’m ready. Besides, the last thing I need is for Angela to know I broke up with Ian before Jane knows.”_

_Nina laughed, “Very true. I promise I won’t say anything to anyone, but please text me tonight. Even if you don’t feel up to telling me how it went, at least let me know you are okay.”_

_“I will,” Maura promised. “And, Nina, thank you. Thank you for finally helping me see what’s important to me._

_“Anytime, now get out of here,” Nina said as she pushed Maura out the door._

_Maura made it home about half an hour later. Ian was already home having only worked a morning shift at the clinic._

_“Hello, Maura, dear. I wasn’t expecting you home until later,” Ian greeted her._

_“Yes, I left work early. We need to talk,” Maura told him. She had felt so confident on her drive home, but now that she was standing in front of him, she was incredibly nervous._

_“Okay…about what?” Ian asked with concern in his voice._

_Maura took a deep breath before continuing, “I’m so incredibly sorry, but I cannot marry you.” Maura pulled off the engagement ring and held it out to Ian. “I’m sorry. I will pay for everything and any money we forfeit during the cancellation process including travel and hotel rooms for guests. I’m really sorry Ian.”_

_“Maura, I don’t understand,” Ian said. He was confused, but his anger was also rising quickly. “What changed so drastically so quickly?_

_“That’s the thing. This hasn’t been drastic. Yes, maybe I should have talked to you, but I’ve been feeling like this isn’t working for months.”_

_Ian was mad now. “Months!” he yelled making Maura flinch. “This is about Jane isn’t it. What did she say to you? This is ridiculous. You really need to cut Jane and the rest of the Rizzolis out of your life so that we can live our life together the way we want to.”_

_“What are you talking about?” Maura’s voice rose as she continued, “The Rizzolis are my family and that is the way I want my life to be. They are important to me. Jane is important to me.”_

_“You haven’t been important to her, though, lately. Have you?” Ian asked._

_That hurt Maura, “We’ve struggled to stay connected since her move, but I am determined to figure out how to fix our relationship. And you know what, I resent that comment coming from you. You’ve done a lot to make it difficult for me to see or talk to Jane. You knew how much I was looking forward to her being home during the holidays and you went and planned a surprise trip during her last few days there. I thought you were just oblivious, but now I think maybe you did it on purpose. Have you also been lying about the limited weekends we can do things for the weddings to make sure that I haven’t had any open weekends to visit Jane?”_

_“Now, you’re just being paranoid,” Ian quipped._

_“No, I don’t think I am. We’re done. I want you out of my house, now.”_

_“I need my things,” Ian argued._

_“You can come back this evening and/or tomorrow night to move out. I don’t care where you go, but you aren’t staying here. You have to be out by noon on Sunday. I’m going to have the locks changed before Sunday Dinner. And I don’t want to be here while you’re here, so I’m not going to be.”_

_“Where will you be?” Ian asked._

_“That’s of no concern to you but know that if you purposely ruin any of my possessions or anything in this house, I will sue you.”_

_“You’re not litigious,” Ian mocked._

_“Try me,” Maura said, and Ian finally gave in knowing the look on her face meant business. “And don’t come near me or any of the Rizzolis, or we will have problems.”_

_Ian took the ring from the counter where Maura had left it and walked out the front door._

_Maura was in shock. She wasn’t sure if she had ever stood up for herself like that before. She was also terrified of what comes next. Deciding she was going to keep going with the momentum, she wrote Angela a note and left it on the counter in the guesthouse. She knew Angela was working all afternoon and wouldn’t see it until around 8. Then she ordered an Uber, grabbed her purse, and walked out the door._

_The Uber took her directly to the airport where she purchased the fastest flight to the DC area. She ended up getting a flight to Reagan National._

“Wow,” was the only thing Jane could say in response to Maura’s story about getting the RSVP card, her conversation with Nina, and her breakup with Ian. “So, um, I guess what is it that you want from our relationship?” Jane asked.

"I want you, Jane. In whatever capacity I can have you. You are the most important person in my life and I’m sorry I lost sight of that. I’m willing to do anything to show you that I mean what I’m saying.”

"Maura, I was serious when I said I wanted more. I want to be more than friends. I want to date you, to marry you, to have a family whatever that may look like. I want everything. _You_ are my everything.”

“Really?” Maura questioned as silent tears started falling down her face.

“Yes, really. As long as you want that too.”

“I do. I really do. And sex.”

“And sex,” Jane repeated under her breath with a laugh. Returning to her normal tone of voice, Jane said to Maura, “Yes, Maura, for me dating and marriage imply sex, just not tonight, okay?”

“I just wanted to be clear so that we don’t have any more miscommunications,” Maura stated matter-of-factly.

Jane laughed, “I mean, I agree. It’s just funny that you chose to start with sex.”

Maura shrugged, “It’s an important part of a romantic relationship and I’m fine waiting until you’re ready. I’ll wait as long as you need. I want you to be comfortable.”

“Implying you’re already comfortable with the idea?” Jane asked.

“Yes, I’d make love to you tonight, if you wanted to,” Maura said causing Jane to laugh again.

“Okay, good to know, but just so we’re clear, it’s not really about not being ready for me. I am ready, or at least as ready as I will ever be to have sex with a woman for the first time,” Jane paused.

“Okay, then I don’t understand,” Maura said.

“I want our first time to be about us. I want it to be special. I expect it will be my last first time.”

“Mine, too,” Maura added.

“And a lot has already happened today. I mean you were engaged this morning and I had a guy over for sex like an hour ago. That’s not a good lead in, not for us.”

Maura smiled, “You can be very romantic, you know.”

Jane returned her smile, “Don’t you dare tell anyone.”

They took a few minutes to eat their pizza in silence before Jane spoke again. “We still have a lot we have to work through, you know. And I know we don’t need to get through all of it tonight, but we should at least talk through the most important topics.”

“I agree,” Maura said.

DING DONG

“Now who is here,” Maura said with indignation, causing Jane to laugh.

“Just a sec,” Jane told her as she went to the door to get the salads. Walking back to the couch, she said, “ I knew you weren’t really okay with only having pizza for dinner if you hadn’t had a perfectly balanced lunch, which it doesn’t sound like you did. I know this probably isn’t as nutritious as you would prefer, but I ordered salads while you were in the bathroom.”

“Oh, Jane. You didn’t have to do that. But thank you. That was really sweet,” Maura said. “Wait, Jane Rizzoli knows a place to get salads?” Maura joked.

“Ha ha, very funny. If you want to know, I had found a few places around here that had food that you would like if you ever came to visit.”

“Oh,” Maura got quiet and looked down at her lap.

“Hey, sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. Let’s just talk about it okay?” Jane asked.

Maura nodded, “I’m the one who should be sorry Jane. I should have tried harder to find a weekend that worked.”

“Maura, I understand that you have an incredibly important job and that you are busy.”

“I know, but I never meant to make you feel unimportant,” Maura replied. “I know the lack of in-person visits falls on me, but why did you stop calling me and texting me? Did I do something? At first, I thought it was just because you were busy with finals between Thanksgiving and Christmas, but it’s only gotten worse with time. Now I’m the only one who ever initiates a conversation.”

“Are you really asking me that?” Jane asked incredulously.

“Yes. I don’t understand.”

“But it’s what you wanted,” Jane stated.

“What? Why would you think that is what I would want? I loved talking to you. For the first couple of months, I had really thought we could make the long-distance thing work, even if I didn’t find it ideal, but then you pulled back.”

Jane stared at her blankly for an uncomfortably long time before blurting out, “I got played! Oh my god, Ian totally played me, didn’t he?”

“I still don’t know what you’re talking about,” Maura said.

“On the Sunday after Thanksgiving, you were downstairs, cleaning with Ma, I think, and I was in the guest room packing. Ian came in and asked if we could talk.”

“About what?” Maura asked.

“About you and how much I was calling and texting you. He said that I was leaning on you too much and that it was upsetting you. He said that you wanted to support me, but that you felt like I was taking you away from being able to do social things with the people still in Boston. He also told me that you would talk about it to him, and he just wanted to help.”

“Why didn’t you ask me directly?”

“He asked me not to. He said that you would never want me to know that I was bothering you and that you would just feel bad if you knew that I knew. Honestly, that part made sense. I’ve seen you do that with so many people over the years. I never thought it would be me, but I guess it was.”

“It wasn’t,” Maura said. Fresh tears were falling. “That is the exact opposite of what I wanted and the opposite of what happened. I don’t know how many nights I cried to him that I felt like I was losing you and we never talked.” Maura paused, clearly deep in thought, “He told me that I should give you some space and that you would be more likely to contact me if you hadn’t heard from me for a few days…” Maura trailed off. Then, she abruptly jumped up from the couch and began pacing.

“What is happening right now?” Jane questioned.

“He manipulated us, both of us, and not just about talking on the phone. How can I have been so stupid? I’ve read about emotionally abusive relationships. The abuser always tries to alienate the other person from everyone around them. That’s exactly what he was doing. I can’t believe I didn’t see it. He’s the reason we re-did the guest room over Christmas, he planned that New York trip to coincide with the time you were in Boston, he’s planned most of the wedding related events on my weekends off – I guess I can’t blame him for the weekends I have to work – and I bet he specifically asked his parents to visit your birthday weekend. Oh, I just want to punch him in the face right now. He’s the reason I didn’t ask you to be my maid-of-honor. I mean, I’m probably the most socially awkward person I know, and I could find people to stand up with me. He really couldn’t find someone? He should have known how important that was to me and just asked someone. You would.” Maura stopped abruptly, realizing what she was implying.

“I already said I wanted to marry you, so you don’t have to freak out at any mention of a wedding or marriage,” Jane said.

“Why aren’t you more upset?” Maura asked.

“Oh, I’m pissed. I’m just still a slightly frozen in shock from your little speech there,” Jane replied.

Maura rolled her eyes.

“Come, sit back down,” Jane said to Maura. “Eat your salad. I got you a Greek salad.”

“Thanks,” Maura said as she sat back down.

“Don’t get me wrong, Maura. I’m seriously pissed, and we will come back to this, but let’s talk through the things we do have control over.,” Jane said.

“Are we talking about starting a romantic relationship?” Maura asked.

“I thought we already agreed on that,” Jane replied.

“Yes, but Jane. We live in different states. I know we can do long distance for a while, but we can’t do it forever. Do you want me to move here? Are there any opportunities in Boston for you? Do we want to do something new? How do we decide? I really can’t do long distance forever.”

“Can you do it for two weeks?” Jane asked.

“What? Two weeks? What happens in two weeks?” Maura was confused.

“My contract with the FBI ends at the end of the month and I didn’t renew it. My last day is Friday, July 28th.”

“Wait, so you were already planning to come back to Boston?” Maura asked.

“Honestly, I wasn’t sure what was next for me. I have another month on my lease and enough in savings to hold me over for a few months while I figure out my next steps. But if we’re doing this,” Jane said pointing between the two of them, “then I’m coming back to Boston. You’ve worked so hard for your position. I could never ask you to give that up. Besides, this feels right.” Jane smiled.

Maura sat in thought for a while. Jane decided to let her think and returned to her pizza. She also reluctantly ate the Caesar salad she had ordered for herself so that Maura wouldn’t force feed her part of her Greek salad.

After about ten minutes, Maura spoke, “What if I don’t want to do two weeks?”

“Um. I love you Maura and if you needed me I would walk out in a second, but I don’t think I’m willing to leave my job before the two weeks are up without a really good reason.”

“Oh, no. Sorry. I wasn’t asking you to leave your job early. I wouldn’t ask that. I don’t want you to burn any bridges with the FBI,” Maura clarified. “What I meant was what if I stayed here with you until you move home? I currently have five weeks off for the wedding and honeymoon. Obviously, I won’t need to take that time anymore. If Kent is willing to handle the ME’s office for the next two weeks, I think the governor would be amenable to having me take off the next two weeks in place of those five weeks in late August and September.”

Jane’s face lit up, “Seriously. I would love that. Also, I think that might be really good for us. Time to reconnect and talk without the pressure of the rest of our family around.”

“I agree. So it would be okay with you if I stayed?”

“Yes. Yes. Yes!”

Maura laughed, “Okay, let me text Kent right now. Then if he agrees, I will email the governor.” Maura went to get her phone from her purse. She stopped in her tracks when she looked at the screen, “Oh.”

“What’s wrong?” Jane asked.

“No, nothing’s wrong. I just have an absurd number of missed calls and texts from your mother.”

Jane rolled her eyes, “What did you tell her?”

Jane’s phone immediately started ringing. “It’s Ma,” she said holding up her phone to Maura.

Maura took a deep breath, “You might as well answer it before she files a missing persons’ report on me.”

“Hey, Ma,” Jane answered the phone trying to sound nonchalant.

“Jane, oh I’m so glad you answered. Something happened with Maura and Ian and I can’t get ahold of her. I’m really worried something is very wrong,” Angela’s voice was full of panic.

“Ma, stop. I’ve talked to Maura. I know they ended their engagement, but she’s okay. I promise.” Jane wasn’t sure if Maura wanted her mother to know that she is in Virginia.

“You talked to her?” Angela asked.

“Yes, Ma. You know I wouldn’t lie about something when it comes to Maura,” Jane told her making Maura smile.

“Do you know where she is?” Angela questioned.

“Yeah, Ma. I do, but can you just leave her alone for a little while? I promise you can suffocate her in love soon,” Jane said.

“Fine, as long as you tell me if you hear anything more,” Angela acquiesced.

“I will. Goodnight, Ma.”

“Night, Janie.”

Jane hung up and turned back to Maura. “Sorry, I didn’t know if you wanted her to know you were here. What exactly did you tell her to make her panic like that?”

“I left her a note. All it said was that Ian and I had ended our engagement and that I was heading out of town for the weekend. I also said that Ian would be getting his possessions out of the house tonight and tomorrow and that I told him he had to be out by noon on Sunday. I’m going to have the locks changed before Sunday dinner. I suppose if I’m staying here, I should check with your mother to see if she is willing to be there while they do that.”

“What do you want to tell her about being here?” Jane asked.

“Honestly, I’d like to tell her the truth, but I understand that you may not be ready for that. I’m willing to keep our relationship private for a while as long as you promise to tell your family and friends eventually.”

“Oh, Maura. I don’t want to hide this,” Jane said as she stepped towards Maura. “I thought you might want to keep it private until you had let everyone know about your engagement. I didn’t know if you were more comfortable telling them that now then about us in a couple of weeks. I don’t want you to feel pressured to tell everyone both things at the same time.”

Maura smiled up at Jane, “Really? You would be willing to tell people right away?”

“Absolutely! We can call Ma back right now,” Jane said.

Maura laughed, “I want to tell people too. I don’t want to hide something that makes me so happy. Our friends and family will understand. Yes, other people might judge me for leaving my fiancé to immediately start a new relationship, but honestly, I don’t really care what they think.”

“People might assume we were having an affair,” Jane added.

“Yes, but those close to us won’t.”

“As long as you’re okay with it, I’m on board.”

Maura stepped into Jane’s space to give her a hug and Jane pulled her impossibly closer.

Maura stepped back. “There is one more thing that’s really bothering me though,” Maura said.

“Yeah?” Jane replied pulling Maura back to sit on the couch.

“It’s a bit of a sensitive topic,” Maura said.

“Maura, I want us to be able to talk about anything,” Jane said sincerely.

“Do you want children?” Maura asked.

Jane looked at her, “I would like to raise children with you, but it’s not a deal breaker for me. If you don’t want children, I would be okay with that, too, as long as we’re together.”

Maura paused for a minute as she chewed on her bottom lip.

“That wasn’t the hard part of your question, was it?” Jane asked.

“You didn’t trust me to be your baby’s godmother. How can I believe you actually want to parent a child with me?” Maura asked, her voice full of emotion.

“Oh, Maura…” Jane started.

“Please just tell me the truth, Jane.”

“I hated that conversation because I couldn’t tell you the truth, but I also couldn’t lie to you.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I know. I’m trying. This is uncomfortable for me,” Jane said. “I’ve been in love with you for quite a few years. I was already in love with you back then. I just didn’t think it would ever be an option. So the truth was that I didn’t want you to be my baby’s godmother. I wanted you to be my baby’s mother. I wanted to raise that child together.”

“Oh,” Maura said quietly.

“I knew it was never something I could ask of you. Honestly, I had already pushed the limits of friendship in asking for your help. Asking you to co-parent would have been completely inappropriate.”

“I would have said yes,” Maura whispered.

Jane gave her a sad smile before continuing, “I want to raise kids with you, Maura, as long as you want that too. And I’m so so sorry I hurt you back in March during that conversation. I should have just lied and said yes. I just wasn’t expecting that question and I didn’t know how to answer.”

“I understand that it’s a difficult topic regardless of our relationship. I’m sorry I brought it up back then.”

“I’m serious when I say I want you to be able to talk to me about anything,” Jane said.

“I know, but there was probably a more appropriate time. But just so you know, I’d really like to have children with you as well,” Maura told Jane.

Jane smiled and pulled Maura in for a passionate kiss.

Maura pulled back, whispering, “If we go any further, I’m not sure I will be able to stop.”

Jane laughed softly, “Okay. Why don’t we get ready for bed? Then we can talk more, maybe decide how to tell our parents? Do you want to take a shower? I can grab your bag from the…wait did you leave your bag in the cab?”

Maura’s eyes widened, “Oh my god. I didn’t bring anything.”

“What do you mean you didn’t bring anything?” Jane asked.

“I didn’t pack a bag. All I have is what I’m wearing and what is in my purse.”

Jane’s face was shocked.

“What am I going to do? This is so unlike me. I was just so focused on getting to see you that I wasn’t thinking,” Maura continued.

Jane laughed, “It’s going to be okay, Maura. I’m just a little surprise. You’re right that this is very unlike you, but we’ll figure it out. You can wear some of my clothes tonight. Then, we can go shopping tomorrow, get everything you’ll need for the next two weeks. If we can’t find something, we’ll have Ma send it.”

“You’ll go shopping with me?” Maura asked with a smirk.

Jane rolled her eyes, “Yeah, I kinda figured you’d make me do that at some point during this trip anyway. It’s better if it’s actually necessary.” Jane laughed.

“Okay. I like that plan,” Maura paused, smiling. “I’d really like to tell our parents tonight. What do you think if I took a shower – I’m not sure that I want them to see my face like this – then we can call you mom and my mom?”

“Isn’t it the middle of the night in Europe?” Jane asked.

“My mom is in LA for an installation, so actually, the timing would be perfect. We would probably catch her before the evening events.”

Jane shrugged, “Sounds like a plan. Here, let me show you where everything is.” Jane grabbed towels, and new toothbrush, and everything Maura would need for the shower before showing her how to turn on the shower – it was unnecessarily complicated. While Maura was in the shower, Jane found clothes she could sleep in and left them in the bathroom for Maura before changing herself and returning to the breakfast bar with her tablet. Not long after, Maura joined Jane at the breakfast bar.

“Are you ready to call your mom?” Maura asked.

“Actually, just let me wash my face first,” Jane said. She quickly ran to the bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth before returning to Maura. “Okay, now I’m ready,” she told Maura when she got back.

Jane FaceTimed her mom from her iPad, adjusting it so that both she and Maura were in the screen.

Angela answered right away, “Hi, Janie,” she started before noticing that both of the were there. “Oh, Maura. Are you okay? I’m so glad you went to see Jane. I’ve been so worried about you, but I know Janie will take care of you. I can’t believe you travelled all the way to Virginia, though.”

Jane rolled her eyes as her mom continued to ramble on. She did love that her mom cared so much about her girlfriend though. That thought made her even happier; she loved being able to call Maura her girlfriend. Turning back to the conversation, she heard Maura reply.

“Thank you, Angela. Yes, I’m okay and I’m even more happy to be here with Jane,” she said turning to look at Jane. “It was the right decision to leave Ian. Honestly, I don’t know why I waited so long.”

“I’m glad, sweetie, but I’m still worried about you,” Angela said.

“I know. Thank you,” Maura replied.

Jane cut in, “Actually, Ma, we also called for another reason, as well. I mean we wanted you to know Maura was okay, too, but…”

“Jane, you’re rambling,” Maura said.

Jane laughed nervously, “Sorry. Anyway, Ma. You should know that Maura and I are together now, as in a couple. We’re dating; we’re girlfriends. She’s my girlfriend and I’m her girlfriend.” Maura put her hand on Jane’s forearm to stop her rant.” Both of them waited for Angela’s reaction.

“Seriously?” Angela almost yelled. Maura and Jane looked at each other. Jane was nervous to tell her mom, but she had still expected her to be supportive. Angela’s reaction surprised her.

“Ma?” Jane questioned. “I…you’re upset?”

“Yes, I’m upset, Janie. How can you tell me this over the phone?” Angela asked. “Now, I can’t give my two girls a big hug in person.”

“Wait, what?” Jane asked.

“Wait, you thought I was upset about you and Maura being a couple?” Angela asked.

“Well, yeah. That’s how you sounded,” Jane said.

“Oh, no. Janie, I’m so sorry. I’m so happy for the both of you. Honestly, it’s about time you got your head out of your asses. I’ve been waiting for this for years.” This caused Maura to laugh in relief. “I’m sorry, girls. I never thought you would think I didn’t approve. You know me; I want to be able to hug my babies.”

“Yeah, I know, Ma, but wouldn’t you rather we told you right away than wait until we see you next?” Jane asked.

“Wait, does this mean you’re moving back to Boston?” Angela asked suddenly.

“Yes, I’m moving back to Boston,” Jane said.

“How soon? Where are you going to live? Are you going back to BPD? What about your job at the FBI?”

“Whoa, whoa, slow down, Ma. I don’t have everything figured out yet, but I’m moving back in two weeks. My contract with the FBI ends at the end of the month,” Jane said.

Maura interrupted, “You should move in with me.”

Jane turned quickly to look at Maura, “What?”

“Move in with me. It doesn’t make sense to get your own apartment. We just end up spending all of our time together anyway. Besides, I always hated it when you had to leave every night before. This way you wouldn’t have to,” Maura continued.

“Um, okay. Let’s talk about that when my mom’s not eavesdropping,” Jane said.

“Right, sorry,” Maura gave a shy smile realizing this wasn’t the appropriate time for this conversation.

Turning back to her mother, Jane said, “Maura’s going to stay here for the next two weeks though, as long as Kent is okay running the ME’s office. Would you be willing to take care of the house?”

“Of course. What do you need me to do?”

“I’ll email you instructions, but basically the same as you always do when I travel. The one thing I am hoping you can help with though is on Sunday. I would like to have someone change the locks, preferably in the early afternoon before Sunday dinner. However, someone would need to be there to get the keys. Ian will be gone by then.”

“Of course. I can do that. Just let me know the details when you get it set up.”

“Okay, thank you. I will. Oh, and Angela, please still have Sunday dinners there while I’m gone and use the main house for anything else you would like during the next two weeks.”

“Thank you, sweetie,” Angela said, smiling at both her girls.

“We’re gonna go, Ma. We are going to call Constance, but I’d really like to be able to tell Frankie and Tommy. I’ll call them in the morning. Can you wait that long to gossip?”

Angela rolled her eyes, “I don’t gossip.”

“Oh, you absolutely do gossip,” Jane said, laughing.

“Fine. Yes, I will wait until you text me that you have talked to your brothers,” Angela conceded.

“Thanks, Ma.”

“Yes, thank you, Angela. For everything,” Maura added.

“Goodnight, girls. Have a good evening. I’m so happy!”

“Night, Ma.”

“Goodnight, Angela,” Maura said as Jane hung up.

“That went well, I thought,” Maura said, turning to Jane.

“Yeah, she scared me for a minute there, but overall, it went well. I hadn’t expected her to have a problem with this or anything. She just caught me off guard.”

“I understand. I was honestly a bit worried. I know she’s Catholic, so I wasn’t sure if she would be okay with you being with a woman. She’s understanding and open to other people in homosexual relationships, but it can be different with one’s own children.”

“Yeah. I suppose, and we will likely face some…I don’t know what to call it…some backlash from some of the extended family, but I wasn’t worried about Ma. I was pretty sure she suspected something for a long time. Besides, you’re a doctor and she already loves you.”

“Do you think your brothers will have a problem?” Maura asked.

“Oh, absolutely not. They’ll be thrilled. They both already know how I feel about you. They’ve been pushing me to talk to you for a while now, especially Frankie. In fact, he called me an idiot for leaving you in France. Gave me quite the lecture.”

“You weren’t really called back by the FBI, were you?” Maura asked quietly.

Jane looked down at her hands, “No. I’m sorry. I was a jerk.”

“No, Jane. I was the one who was rude. I shouldn’t have left you to spend time with Ian during our trip, especially during our last week. Honestly, I was just trying to avoid my feelings,” Maura admitted.

“I still shouldn’t have lied to you like that or left you.”

“No, but I’ve moved past it. I never really believed your story. I mean what would the FBI actually need an instructor to start early at the last minute for?”

This made Jane laugh, “Yeah, maybe I should have come up with a better story.”

“You should have talked to me,” Maura said, laughing too. “But like I said, I’ve moved on. We both made mistakes – big ones. I’ve forgiven you and I hope you can forgive me. Don’t get me wrong, I know we still have a lot to work through, but I think we can do it.”

Jane smiled, “I _know_ we can do it.”

Maura returned her smile, “Let’s call my mother then go to bed so that we can start tomorrow fresh.”

“Okay,” Jane said.

Maura paused for a moment.

“What is it?” Jane asked.

“Do you think it would be okay if I started this conversation alone? Then you can join? You don’t have to leave the room. You can listen, but maybe just be off screen? I’m not sure how my mother is going to react. Not that she will have a problem with us. I’m more worried about her reaction to cancelling the wedding.”

“Sure, anything you want,” Jane said standing up and going to the other side of the counter.

Maura found her phone and dialed her mother’s number. Constance answered the FaceTime call with a smile, “Hello, darling. I wasn’t expecting to hear from you tonight.”

“Hello, Mother. How are you?”

“I’m well, thank you.”

“Um, do you have a few minutes. I need to talk to you about something?” Maura asked timidly.

“Yes, I have a few minutes. What do you need to talk to me about?” Constance answered.

“Well, I’ve called off my engagement with Ian. We’re cancelling the wedding,” Maura paused to let this sink in.

“Are you sure, Maura?” Constance asked.

“Yes,” Maura started.

“It’s just that I know how important having a family is to you. Are you sure you want to give that up? No marriage is perfect and if you’re waiting on Jane, I don’t think…”

“What?” Jane and Maura both said in unison making Constance pause.

“You’re not alone?” Constance asked.

“No,” Maura admitted quietly.

“Jane, please join the conversation,” Constance called out. Once Jane had appeared in the screen, Constance gave them both a look before continuing. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. Maura, all I want is for you to be happy.”

“Constance, we are together now. It just happened today, but that is part of what we wanted to tell you. Maura had just wanted to start by telling you about the engagement ending on her own,” Jane said.

Constance was speechless and Maura wasn’t saying anything, so Jane continued, “What did you mean by ‘if she’s waiting for Jane’?

“Oh, well,” Constance started, clearly embarrassed at having said what she did. “It’s just that I’ve always wondered about the two of you. When I first met you, Jane, I actually thought you were dating, but that Maura didn’t want to tell me. I wasn’t sure why since she’s always known we have no problem with her sexuality, but then the next time I was in town and you were dating someone else, I realized I had been wrong. Honestly, I thought when I called you a few months ago, you would do something, but since you didn’t I gave up hope that you two would ever figure it out.”

“You called Jane?” Maura asked.

“Yes. I was concerned, but Jane was so insistent that you were happy with Ian and that you loved him that I decided I must have been wrong about how she felt about you.”

“You weren’t wrong. I’ve loved Maura for a long time. I didn’t think she could ever feel the same way, though,” Jane admitted.

Jane and Maura could hear someone calling Constance from another room. “I’m sorry, but I have to go. Can we talk more this weekend?” Constance asked.

“Of course, Mother. Please enjoy your evening.”

“You as well. And Maura, I’m really happy for you,” Constance added.

“Thank you. Goodnight, Mother.”

“Goodnight, Maura, Jane.”

“Night,” Jane chimed in as Constance ended the call.

“Um, that was a bit unexpected,” Jane said with a nervous laugh.

“Yeah, it was. I didn’t think she paid enough attention to know how I felt about you. Honestly, even though it was awkward, I kind of liked that moment.”

Jane laughed, “I mean yeah it was awkward, but your mom loves you. She just isn’t the best at showing it.”

Maura smiled at Jane, “I know, but let’s go to bed. I’m exhausted and I’m excited for the rest of the weekend and the next two weeks.”

Jane stood up, “I’ll grab a pillow and some blankets. Do you want to sleep on the couch or in the bed tonight? I figured we could rotate.”

Maura stopped in her tracks, which caused Jane to burst out laughing. “I’m totally kidding. I was just messing with you. Come on. Of course, we’re both sleeping in the bed. I mean, we already have our own sides.”

“Maura laughed, “You’re mean, Jane Rizzoli.”

“But you love me,” Jane smirked.

“Yes, I do,” came Maura’s reply. Maura looked around Jane’s room when they walked in. She smiled when she saw the pictures Jane had. All of them were of Jane with her family and/or Maura. They crawled into bed together. Maura rolled towards Jane and whispered, “You know, I was serious about you moving in with me.”

Jane turned to look at Maura. She honestly loved the idea, but she was worried it would be too much for Maura to immediately go from living with Ian to living with her, “Let’s talk about it tomorrow. We’ve already made a lot of big decisions today. I’m not saying no. I’m just saying I don’t want to rush into such a big decision.”

Maura smiled. That was fair enough. “Okay, I agree,” she responded. Jane rolled to turn off the lights as Maura asked another question, “Are you a cuddler?”

Jane smiled. “With you I am. I love you, Maur, goodnight,” Jane said as she pulled Maura close.

“I love you, too, Jane. I’m glad we finally talked and got everything out in the open,” Maura said.

“Maybe we should have talked sooner,” Jane whispered to Maura as she was falling asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They’re together! My current plan is for this story to go through their wedding with the potential for sequels. Also, I know people are going to comment on Jane’s lack of reaction to Ian’s manipulation. Trust me when I say she’s just trying to process everything; she is angry, and it will come out. Finally, I’m not planning on further addressing why Jane would leave her job without a new job/plan in this fic. If I write sequels, it would be part of one of those, so I needed to set it up here, just in case. If it really bothers you, PM me, and I’ll tell you.
> 
> I have a big public report release at work this week as well as an exam, so my updates will be a little delayed. That’s part of why I wanted to get through this chapter. Don’t worry, though. I’ll be back soon, probably posting the next chapter at the end of the week.


	11. Day One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be a little more angst ahead (nothing to the level of the first half of the story), but the next few chapters will all be sweet and (hopefully) sexy.

_Jane’s POV_

Jane felt herself waking up with a warm body pressed against her front. She smiled to herself as she pulled Maura closer. She still couldn’t believe this was real; part of her was still waiting to wake up from this dream.

“Mmm,” Maura hummed as she felt Jane pull her impossibly closer. She pulled away a bit and rolled over in Jane’s arms so that she was facing her. “Good morning, Jane,” Maura said before leaning in and giving Jane a chaste kiss. Jane tried to deepen the kiss, but Maura pulled away with a smirk. “I haven’t brushed my teeth,” she whispered.

Jane rolled her eyes, “Seriously? Are you always going to make me wait until we’ve brushed our teeth?”

“No, but today is our first morning together. I don’t want you to think about my morning breath every time you think about this.”

Jane laughed softly. “Fine,” she said and rolled away intending to go brush her teeth.

“Wait, where are you going?” Maura asked, reaching out her arms to try to pull Jane back into bed.

“To brush my teeth!” Jane exclaimed. Maura was giving her the cutest pout, so she leaned in for a quick peck on the lips. She pulled away before Maura could pull her back to bed.

Jane was standing at the sink in her bathroom brushing her teeth when Maura walked up behind her and wrapped her arms around her waist. She rested her chin on Jane’s shoulder and smiled at Jane in the mirror. “Good morning,” she said again.

“You already said that,” Jane said.

“Yes, but you still haven’t,” Maura pointed out.

Jane finished brushing her teeth and turned around to face Maura. “I’m sorry,” she told Maura. “Good morning, love.

Maura gave her a quick kiss before reaching around Jane to brush her own teeth. When she was done, she found Jane sitting on her bed. “Love? I like that. I don’t typically like pet names, but I like ‘love.’”

Jane laughed, “Good. Now come here.” She tugged on Maura’s hands and Maura sat on her lap straddling her. Maura threaded her fingers into Jane’s hair as she leaned in for a passionate kiss. Maura felt like she was melting. She wasn’t sure when the last time she had felt this good was – or really, if she had ever felt this good.

Jane pulled Maura tighter against her, wrapping her arms around Maura and running her hands up and down her back. Maura ran her tongue along her bottom lip and Jane opened her mouth, letting her in. Jane couldn’t help the moan that she released when Maura’s tongue entered her mouth. Their tongues worked together, equally pulling and pushing. Just as Jane was about to run her hands under Maura’s top, Maura pulled back.

Laughing softly at Jane’s whining, Maura quietly told her, “If we don’t stop soon, I’m not sure I’ll be able to control myself much longer.”

Jane leaned her forehead against Maura’s. “Okay,” she said.

Maura stood up, pulling Jane up behind her, “Let’s get dressed.”

They quickly got ready for the day and headed out the front door. As Jane locked the door behind them, she said to Maura, “So, I was thinking we could get coffee and breakfast at this local coffee shop. Then we can go shopping for whatever you need. I’m not sure if you already know where you want to go, but on the next street over from the coffee shop, there are a few boutiques I think you would like.”

“That sounds wonderful,” Maura said. “Are we driving or walking?”

“If we were just going for breakfast, we could walk, but since I’m expecting we’ll have quite a few bags by the end of the day, let’s drive. It’s a little over a mile away.”

As the got in the car, Jane added, “If they don’t have everything you need at the stores we’re going to, just let me know and we can find other places that have what you need.”

Maura smiled, “Thank you, Jane. I know you hate shopping.”

“Yes, but I want you to stay for the next two weeks more than I hate shopping,” Jane admitted. Also, she would never admit it to Maura, but she did enjoy shopping with her friend. She had an image to keep up though, so it was basically a requirement that she complain the whole time.

They parked near the stores they would be going to later in the day and walked back to the coffee shop. As they walked in, Jane noticed a couple leaving a table near the window, “Oh, look; there’s a table. Why don’t you go save the table and I’ll order our coffee and breakfast?”

“Sure,” Maura responded and hurried off to the table. Jane waited in line, ordered their drinks and food, and then joined Maura at the table.

“Thanks,” she said to Maura. “It’s often impossible to find a table in this place on a Saturday morning, especially one near the window.”

“I like this place,” Maura said looking around. “What did you order us for breakfast?”

“They have really good breakfast sandwiches here. I got “The Original” for myself; it has egg, sausage, cheese, tomato, and lettuce on an English muffin. And I got you “The Power Breakfast Sandwich”; it has egg whites, tomato, avocado, and spinach on wheat toast. Also, I got the potatoes as my side and the side salad for yours, but I figured we could share those. I knew you probably wouldn’t want a whole order of potatoes but might want a few.”

Maura smiled, “That sounds perfect.”

A waitress walked up with their coffees. Setting them on the table, she told them, “You’re food will be out shortly.”

“Thank you,” Jane replied.

Jane looked at the labels on the drinks and pushed Maura’s towards her. Maura look at the label as well to see what Jane had ordered for her. She instantly felt tears pooling at the corners of her eyes.

When Jane saw the look on Maura’s face, she was concerned. “What’s wrong?” she asked. Noticing that Maura was staring at the drink, she added, “Did I get the wrong thing? I can go back up there and get whatever you want.” Jane started to stand up, asking, “What would you like?”

“No!” Maura said quickly, placing her hand on Jane’s forearm to keep her from getting up. “It’s perfect. It’s just that…never mind, it’s silly.”

Interlacing her fingers with Maura’s, Jane pushed, “I’m sure it’s not silly. What is it? You seem upset all of the sudden.”

Maura looked up, locking eyes with Jane. “It’s just that it’s been a while since we’ve had coffee together.” Maura sighed before continuing, “You remember my favorite coffee order with every customization.”

Jane laughed, “I mean, I maintain that it’s a ridiculous order, and I’m still not sure if there is even coffee in there, but yeah, of course I remember it.”

Maura looked down and whispered, “Ian never learned any of the things I liked.”

Jane sighed before adding, just as quietly, “I remember everything about you.”

At this comment, Maura couldn’t stop a few tears from falling. “Thank you,” she replied.

Luckily, the waitress came back with their food, so they didn’t have to continue with the conversation.

“Can I take you on a date tonight?” Jane asked Maura with a smirk.

A huge grin crossed Maura’s face, “I would love that. Where are we going to go?”

Jane laughed, “Nope. It’s a surprise.”

“Oh, come on. Please tell me!” Maura pleaded.

“Uh uh, not happening!” Jane said.

Maura laughed, “Fine.” Changing the subject, Maura added, “Can I come see you teach at the FBI one day?”

Jane shrugged, “Sure. If you want. Actually, Thursday would be a good day. In preparation for their finals next week, they have an in-class interrogation assignment. That will probably be a fun day to come.”

Maura smiled, “I’m looking forward to it.” After a pause, Maura asked, “Can I try a bite of your sandwich?”

“Sure,” Jane replied, handing her the other half of her sandwich. “What else do you want to do while you’re here?”

“Well, I’d love to meet your friends, but other than that, I just want to spend time with you. I’ll help you pack. I can go to the store on Monday to get groceries and packing supplies.”

Jane laughed, “Sounds good. Besides, I know how much you hate my packing.”

“It would be significantly easier to unpack if you organized and labelled your things while packing,” Maura stated. “Have you thought any more about moving in with me?”

Jane sighed, “It’s not that I don’t want to live with you. I do, but it scares me. I mean, are you sure you really want to go right from living with Ian to living with me? Don’t you need a transition? What if we don’t work? I don’t know if I could handle moving out. This past year was bad enough.”

“I understand. I just feel like we’ve wasted enough time apart. I don’t want to have to say goodbye to you every night. Do you really think we might not work?” Maura asked quietly.

“I don’t know, Maura. This feels right, and I know I love you. But, I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that you were so recently engaged to Ian, that you moved so quickly with him when we ran into him in Paris. It doesn’t necessarily bother me that you were with him. The past doesn’t really matter, but I’m worried that you will realize this was a mistake, too.”

“I’m sorry, Jane. I know I hurt you. That was never my intention.”

“I know it wasn’t, but the reality is I was hurt. I’m not saying all of this is your fault. Please don’t think that. I hurt you too, and we are both guilty of not talking to the other about how we feel.” Jane paused before continuing, “I love you, Maura, more than you could ever understand, but I don’t think I’d survive losing you like that again.”

“I don’t think I’d survive losing you again either,” Maura whispered. “I want you to know, though, that how I feel about you isn’t the same as how I felt about Ian. I can’t promise you everything will always be perfect, but I can promise you that I will always fight for you. I’m done fighting this. I don’t see any scenario in which I don’t want to spend the rest of my life with you, but I also don’t want you to move in if you aren’t ready. I couldn’t handle it if you moved out either.”

“Let’s see how the weekend goes. I know we can’t wait too long to decide since I’d need to find somewhere to live if I don’t move in with you, but let’s talk about it Monday after work. Is that okay?”

“Yes, I think that is a good idea. Thank you for considering it,” Maura added.

Jane laughed, “You do understand that my hesitation isn’t because I don’t want to live with you. I absolutely do. I just have to protect myself – protect both of us – from getting hurt. I don’t know if that makes any sense, but to me there is a difference.”

“No, I do understand, Jane,” Maura replied. “I understand the difference.”

“Thanks,” Jane said before looking down at her plate to finish her breakfast. Her head snapped back up to look at Maura. “Hey, you ate the rest of my sandwich!” she accused.

Maura looked down at her plate then back at Jane as though not sure how that happened. Then she laughed, “Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to. It was just really good, and I wasn’t paying attention. Do you want the other half of mine?”

“Ha, no thank you!” Jane said.

“I’ll go get you a new one,” Maura told her.

“No, no, it’s fine. I’ll be fine until we get lunch, but I get the rest of the potatoes,” she added.

Maura laughed, “Okay. I’m really sorry!”

They finished their breakfasts and coffee before heading back out to the street. It was going to be a beautiful summer day. Jane looked down at her watch. “The stores don’t open until 10am. We have about 30 minutes. Do you want to walk through the park?” she asked pointing across the street.

“Sure,” Maura replied, and they headed across the street and into the park. They walked in silence for a while, each lost in their own thoughts. Eventually, they came to a bench and sat down.

“Do you know what you want to do career-wise when you are back in Boston?” Maura asked.

“Hmm,” Jane hummed. “I actually have two different things I have been thinking about, but before I tell you, I was wondering if you had any thoughts about it.”

“Oh, it’s not for me to decide,” Maura said.

“I know, and I will make my own decision, but if we are going to be in a serious relationship, your opinion matters to me. It affects you too whether I want it to or not.”

Maura was silent for a while. She still wasn’t sure if she should actually tell Jane her feelings on the topic, but it’s not like keeping secrets had worked well for them in the past. Finally, she spoke, “The most important thing to me is that you come home every night, and I want you to be happy, to feel fulfilled. If that means coming back to BPD, being a detective again, then I want you to do that.”

“But that wouldn’t be your preference?” Jane asked.

“I didn’t say that. I will fully support you in anything you want to do.”

“You didn’t say it in words, but your voice told me what I wanted to know,” Jane said. “I’m not upset, Maura, not at all. I really genuinely want to know how you feel.”

“I want you to come home every night,” Maura repeated.

Jane wrapped her right arm around Maura’s shoulders and pulled her close, “I want that too.”

“So, what does that mean?” Maura asked. “What are your two ideas?”

Jane looked down at her left hand; she reached across their laps and intertwined her fingers with Maura’s. “Well, I was thinking either I could be an instructor for the Boston police academy, or my other idea was to be a child advocate.”  
“Really?” Maura said, surprised. “You don’t want to be back in the field?” Maura’s voice cracked on the last word. As much as she tried to keep the emotion out of her voice, she couldn’t help it.

“I kinda like not being shot at,” Jane said.

“I really like you not being shot at,” Maura added. “You also wouldn’t have any night calls.”

“Yeah, but you still would. It will be hard not going with you.”

“The governor offered me an opportunity just before Christmas,” Maura told Jane. “I said no at the time. He offered to transition the Chief Medical Examiner position to a more administrative position and to promote Kent to Associate Medical Examiner from Assistant Medical Examiner. He wants me to completely restructure and update the medical examiner’s office across the commonwealth. Kent would then be the primary ME in Boston responding to crimes. I would manage the staff and facilities across districts and offices and Kent would still work for me. But Kent would outrank the rest of the MEs in the state.”

“Why on earth didn’t you take that offer?” Jane asked.

“Honestly, a lot of reasons – all of them selfish.”

“I highly doubt that,” Jane said.

Maura laughed, “It’s true. I told the governor I didn’t want to give up the actual medical work, but the truth is I didn’t want to give up working with my friends. I was afraid that if I didn’t work with them on a daily basis, I would slowly fall out of the group. It’s silly, I know.”

“It’s not silly, but that wouldn’t have happened. You’re family and nothing would have changed that.”

Maura shrugged, “I also didn’t mind the time away from Ian. This position would allow me to work a more set schedule. I might still have some evening or weekend calls, but it would only be in extreme circumstances; for example, highly controversial or especially difficult cases.”

“Do you think the opportunity is still available?” Jane asked. “Is that something you would want? I know you do love to do autopsies. I mean, what would you do if you couldn’t see stomach contents on a daily basis?”

Maura laughed, “It is still an option. The governor has asked me every couple of months since and has let me know that it is an open offer if I ever change my mind.”

“Is it something you would like to do?” Jane asked again.

“Yes, it is. I would miss the medical work, but I actually think I could do a lot of good in this position. I would have almost complete autonomy to improve and update the system.”

“I wish you had told me when he originally asked,” Jane said. She was originally going to ask why Maura hadn’t told her, but deep down she knew the answer to that question.

“I know, but I was embarrassed at my cowardice. I’ve let my fear hold me back in my personal life, time and time again, but that is the first time I let my fear limit my career,” Maura admitted.

“It’s okay to put your personal life first, you know?” Jane said.

“I know, and if that was actually what I was doing, that would be one thing, but the truth is I was just letting my fear get the best of me.”

They both fell silent for a while. Eventually, Jane looked at her watch again. It was 10:10am. She stood up and held her hand out to Maura, “Let’s come back to this conversation later. Right now, it’s shopping time!”

Maura smiled and allowed Jane to pull her up. She linked arms with Jane as they walked back towards the stores.

Even Jane had to admit that shopping was fun. She had missed doing these kinds of things with Maura. After a while though, she did start to get sort of bored. She was sitting in a chair outside the dressing room while Maura was trying on yet another dress when she got a text from Claire. Maura noticed the look on Jane’s face when she stepped out of the dressing room.

She walked up to Jane and asked, “What’s wrong?”

Jane looked up, started. She hadn’t noticed Maura come back out. “Oh, it’s nothing,” she said. “I just forgot that I was going to meet some friends at the bar tonight. I was just about to text them back that I can’t come.”

“No, we should go,” Maura said. “Or rather, you should go. I probably shouldn’t invite myself. But anyway, my point is we have the rest of our lives for dates, you don’t have that much longer to spend time with your friends.”

“Okay, first of all, I’m not going anywhere without you. Don’t be ridiculous. Second, I want to go on a date with you.”

Maura laughed, “Good because I really want to meet your friends. That was my first thought when I started saying we should go, but then I realized that was a bit presumptuous.”

Jane rolled her eyes, “Okay, from here on out, please just assume you’re invited unless I tell you otherwise, which will be never.”

“I want to go on a date with you. I want to go on _many_ dates with you, but I do want to meet your friends.”

Jane tilted her head, “You’re sure?”

“Yes!” Maura said with a huge smile. “Wait, now I have to find a good outfit for going out.”

Jane rolled her eyes again and laughed, “Of course.”

They finished up shopping. Jane was pretty sure Maura had spent more today than she had in her entire life on clothes, shoes, and makeup, but that was Maura. They enjoyed a late light lunch at a small café before heading back to Jane’s apartment.

Jane helped carry everything inside while Maura unpacked the bags and hung up her new clothes, making sure everything was organized. “Did we miss anything?” Jane asked.

“I don’t think so,” Maura said. “I think I have everything I need.”

“Okay, is it okay if I shower while you finish putting everything away? You can use the drawers too, by the way.”

“Sure. Then I’ll shower after you.”

Jane showered and got ready to go out. She chose dark skinny jeans that fit her especially well. The paired this with a sleeveless red top and grabbed a black leather jacket to bring with her in case the bar was cold. Once she was ready, she stepped outside onto the front porch to make a call. She had thought of the idea earlier in the day but hadn’t had a chance to make the call yet.

“Hello,” Constance answered.

“Hi, Constance. This is Jane.”

“Hi, Jane. I wasn’t expecting to hear from you. Is Maura okay?”

“Yes, she’s fine. Great actually,” Jane paused. “Um, I had a thought. I know this is really late notice and you might not be able to do it, but do you think there’s any chance you and/or Arthur would be able to come to Boston for Maura’s birthday? I haven’t said anything to her so if you can’t it’s fine. She’ll never know. But I think it would be a great surprise if you could, and she would love it.”

“Oh. Well, I’d have to check my calendar and talk to Arthur, but I would really like that. We haven’t spent her birthday with her in years, and I was especially disappointed to miss her 40th last year. Would it be okay if I got back to you?”

“Yeah, of course. I knew you wouldn’t be able to answer right away,” Jane said. “I’d really love this to be a surprise for Maura though, if that’s okay with you. She sometimes looks at my phone so is it okay if I call you back rather than you calling or texting me?”

“Of course, Jane,” Constance said. “I think that is really sweet. I won’t say anything to Maura and I will tell Arthur not to tell her either. I’m really hoping to make this work. It should be easier since we will no longer be coming for the wedding. I can reschedule some of my appointments to that time.”

“Thank you,” Jane said.

“No, Jane. Thank you. It means a lot that you asked.”

Jane smiled.

“I fly back to Europe on Monday. Do you think you could call on Tuesday?” Constance asked.

“Sure, is during my lunch – so your dinner time, okay?”

“That would work perfectly.”

“Cool. Thanks. Have a good rest of your day and weekend, Constance,” Jane said.

“You too, Jane. Goodbye.”

Jane hung up and headed back inside. She grabbed a cold beer and sat on the couch to wait for Maura.

A while later Maura can out of the bedroom wearing jeans that perfectly hugged her figure and a flowing black top with an open back. Jane’s mouth instantly went dry. She stood up and walked over to Maura. Stopping in front of her, Jane said quietly, “You look amazing,” making Maura blush.

Maura looked Jane up and down before looking into her eyes, “You don’t look half bad yourself.” She leaned in for a kiss but pulled away before it became too passionate – otherwise, they’d never make it out of the apartment. “We make a pretty good looking couple.”

Jane chucked, “Yeah, but everyone’s gonna be staring at you all night.”

“As long as you’re one of them,” Maura flirted.

“Oh, trust me, I will be,” Jane said. “We should go, or we’ll never make it out of this apartment.”

Maura laughed and gave Jane a quick kiss before walking around her to grab her purse. They walked to the bar with the plan to Uber home since they would be drinking. When they walked through the door, Jane spotted her friends in their usually spot. She grabbed Maura’s hand and pulled her behind her as she weaved her way through the bar.

“Hey,” Jane said to the table as they walked up. “This is…”

But Jeff cut her off, “Dr. Maura Isles, Chief Medical Examiner for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts. You didn’t tell us she was visiting!”

Jane chuckled. Turning to Maura she whispered, “Jeff has a bit of a professional crush on you.”

Maura looked at Jane, unsure if she was joking, but Jane had already turned back to her friends. She introduced each of them to Maura.

Pointing to each in turn, she said, “Maur, this is Jeff. She’s an ME for the FBI. This is his wife Laura. Claire, Kate, Craig, Amy, and Ryan. Is anyone else coming?” she asked as she and Maura sat down next to each other.

“No, I don’t think so,” Claire said. “I know Kevin and Rachel are out of town.”

“Kevin is an instructor at the FBI and Rachel is his girlfriend,” Jane whispered to Maura. Maura nodded, a bit overwhelmed with all the new people.

“So, what brings you to town?” Amy asked Maura.

“Oh, well…” Maura looked at Jane. She didn’t know how much Jane had told her friends or how much she wanted to tell them now. They probably should have talked about this before they got here.

Jane stepped in. “We finally talked,” she told Amy. To Maura she added with an apologetic smile, “They kinda know all about how I feel about you.”

Maura laughed nervously.

“Does that mean you’re finally together?” Ryan asked.

Jane grabbed Maura’s hand. She was aware that Maura was uncomfortable. “Yeah, we’re dating,” she answered. Deciding to give Maura a break, she added, “We’re gonna run up to the bar and grab drinks. Does anyone else want anything?”

No one else needed anything, so she and Maura headed to the bar. Jane ordered their drinks from the bartender before turning to Maura. “Are you okay?” she asked. “Is it okay that I told them we're dating?”

“Yes, I’m okay,” Maura said honestly. “It will take me a few minutes to be comfortable, but they seem nice and I know you won’t let me embarrass myself.”

Jane laughed, “You’ll be fine, but I promise to take care of you.”

“And I’m fine with whomever you want to tell, but you might want to tell your brothers soon. Frankie, especially, probably won’t be happy to know so many other people found out before him.”

“Crap,” Jane said under her breath, making Maura laugh. “Yeah, I should probably call them. Honestly, I’m shocked Ma hasn’t told everyone in Boston, but I think they would have text me if she told them.” Before Maura had a chance to respond, the bartender came back with their drinks and they headed back to the table.

Both Jane and Maura enjoyed their evening. Maura even got a burger along with everyone else. Maura became increasingly more comfortable as the evening wore on; she really enjoyed Jane’s friends and was sad she wouldn’t be able to spend more time with them. When Jane went to the bathroom later that night, Kate and Claire told Maura they wanted to throw Jane a going away party before they went back to Boston, so she exchanged phone numbers with them and promised to talk to them during the week to plan something.

Later that evening, they left the bar. Both were quite tipsy, making them laugh uncontrollably at everything. They made out in the backseat of their Uber. Good thing the ride was so short, Jane thought to herself. Otherwise, the driver probably would have been very uncomfortable.

Maura was leaning against Jane as Jane tried to unlock her front door. With Maura’s hands all over her, it took her a few attempts to actually open the door. As soon as she closed the front door, Maura pushed her against it and captured her lips in a passionate kiss. Jane’s hands immediately went to Maura’s hips and pulled her close. After a few minutes, Maura pulled out of the kiss and whispered to Jane, “I want you.”

Jane froze. She wasn’t sure if she was ready for this. Yes, she wanted Maura, but she was still scared. Apparently, Maura could see this in her face though. Before Jane could say anything, Maura said, “It’s okay Jane. I want you to be ready, too.”

Jane sighed and looked down. If Maura didn’t have her pinned against the door, she would have tried to leave her embrace. “I’m sorry, Maura,” she said quietly.

Maura shook her head, “No, you have nothing to be sorry for. I can wait – we can wait.” Maura pushed back from Jane and grabbed her hands. “Come on. Let’s change and get in bed and cuddle. Nothing more, I promise.”

Jane nodded. She still felt bad. She didn’t want Maura to think she was rejecting her, but she was relieved that Maura didn’t push the subject.

Both of them went through their nighttime routines, washing off the remnants of the bar and brushing their teeth. When they climbed into bed a while later, Maura rolled to face Jane instead of spooning her from the front. She laced their fingers together and pulled Jane’s hand to her lips giving them a kiss.

“I love you, Jane. No matter what. I hope you know that. Yes, I want to make love to you, but I don’t want that until you’re ready.”

“I know,” Jane said. “Thank you.” She leaned in to give Maura a chaste kiss.

“It occurred to me that I made a comment this morning that I would like to clarify,” Maura said.

Jane raised an eyebrow in question, “What comment?”

“I said that if we went much further, I wouldn’t be able to stop. But I want you to know that no matter what at any time, we can always stop. All you have to do is tell me. I don’t care how close I am or how far we’ve gone. We can always stop. When I said that I just meant that my arousal was increasing quickly, but…”

Jane stopped her, “Maura, I know. I trust you okay. I didn’t take your comment this morning as anything bad. I knew what you meant but thank you for saying that anyway.”

“Okay, I just had to make sure,” Maura said before yawning.

Jane laughed, “Let’s get some sleep.” And she pulled Maura towards her so that Maura was laying with her head on Jane’s chest and her arm wrapped around her waist.

“Goodnight, Jane. I love you, so much.”

“Night, Maur. I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The locations in this chapter are made up. This isn’t my preference. I usually like to find places and events that are real, but I couldn’t find good options for this part of the story, so I decided to make them up.


	12. Date Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is rated M.

_Jane’s POV_

The next day, Maura and Jane spent a quiet morning together just enjoying each other’s company. Jane had some grading that she had to get done before work the next day, so Maura sat with her on the couch and worked on the Sunday crossword puzzle while Jane graded.

Eventually, Maura went to take a shower and get ready for their date as Jane finished her work. Jane used the bathroom after Maura. After getting ready, Jane found Maura in the living room. As Maura stood up and walked towards her, Jane stopped breathing. Maura was wearing a fitted deep purple dress with a plunging neckline. Her makeup was darker than she typically wore during the day. All in all, the only word that came to Jane’s mind was sexy – Dr. Maura Isles was incredibly sexy.

“You look amazing,” Jane said.

A soft smile graced Maura’s lip. She stepped directly into Jane’s space and gave Jane a light kiss. “As do you,” she added as she looked Jane up and down. Jane tried not to squirm as Maura was clearly checking her out but relaxed as Maura seemed to approve. She had chosen a simple outfit of fitted black pants paired with a low-cut white top.

Jane gave Maura another quick kiss before pulling away. “We should get going,” she said.

Jane was driving and she still refused to tell Maura where they were going, so Maura was surprised when they pulled up in front of a grocery store. As Jane parked, she turned to look at Jane with a confused expression on her face.

Jane laughed, “Don’t worry. We’re not having our date at the grocery store, but I do have to pick something up. Do you want to come in or wait in the car?”

“I’ll come in with you, I suppose.”

They entered the grocery store together and Jane went directly to the deli counter where she picked up a basket that she had clearly pre-ordered. As they headed back to the car, Maura asked, “Are you going to explain? What’s in the basket?”

“Nope,” Jane said. “You’ll just have to wait.”

They chatted lightly as they drove about 20 minutes out of town. Jane parked in front of a strip mall. Maura raised her eyebrow at Jane causing Jane to laugh at her.

“Okay, okay. Fine, I’ll tell you and if you don’t like the idea, we can go do something else,” Jane told her. “I figured everyone tries to wine and dine you all the time, so I wanted to find something different. I mean, we can do that later, but for our first date, I wanted something memorable. I signed us up for a class at Wine & Design. They serve you wine while you paint whatever the designated picture is for that class. The one I signed us up for is the Eiffel Tower at night. It seemed too perfect to pass up. Also, while you buy the wine there, they don’t provide food, but you can bring your own. I got us a charcuterie and cheese board. I know it’s not really a meal, but I thought you would enjoy it with the wine and painting…” Jane trailed off unsure if Maura would think this was a lame idea.

But Maura smiled, “I love this idea. Let’s go!” They both exited the car, but before they got to the front door, Maura pulled Jane aside to give her a kiss. “Thank you, Jane.”

Jane laughed, “You don’t even know if you’ll like it yet.”

“It’s wine, charcuterie and cheese, and painting, I think it’s safe to say I’ll love it, but that’s not really what I was thanking you for,” Maura said. “It means a lot to me that you tried to think of something I would enjoy – that we both would enjoy.”

“As opposed to what?” Jane asked.

Maura tilted her head, unsure of how much to say. “Honestly, I was afraid you were going to try to do something expensive and fancy just to impress me, but what I really want is just to be us.”

Jane smiled. “I did consider that,” Jane admitted, “but I knew I’d never live up to what you’re used to.”

Maura shook her head, “I don’t need you to do that. I can afford to buy myself whatever I want, but no one else has ever given me the things that you give me on a daily basis – the feelings of being accepted, included, wanted.”

Jane pulled Maura into a hug, “Let’s enjoy our evening.” And they did. The painting was fun. Maura’s painting, of course, was perfect, but Jane was pretty happy with hers as well. At the end of the evening they laid them flat in the back of Jane’s car to make sure they dried completely before heading back to Jane’s apartment. Jane felt like the car was on fire as the sexual tension between them became palpable on the drive home.

When they stepped out of the car, Jane immediately pulled Maura into a passionate kiss as they fumbled their way to the front door. Jane struggled to find her keys and unlock the door as Maura’s lips travelled down the side of her neck and Maura’s front pressed into her back. As soon as they were through the front door, Maura pinned Jane against the door and kissed her hard.

* * *

_Maura’s POV_

Maura started to pull back, but Jane held her in place. “I want to do this,” Jane whispered.

Maura looked deep into Jane’s eyes, which had turned black with desire. She didn’t want Jane to do anything she wasn’t ready for, but she couldn’t deny that she wanted this, wanted Jane.

Before Maura could respond, Jane lightly pushed against Maura so that they were both standing upright. She grabbed Maura’s hand and pulled her towards the bedroom. Once they were in the bedroom, Jane pulled Maura back into a passionate kiss. They stood embraced in the center of the room gently swaying together as they kissed. Maura felt like her body was on fire and she could feel herself getting wet, but she didn’t want to rush anything.

Jane walked Maura backwards toward the bed. When the back of her knees hit the bed, Maura sat down, pulling Jane down with her. She ran her hand up and down Jane’s back eventually letting her hand go up under her shirt. When Jane pulled back for air, both of them were panting heavily. Maura looked into her eyes silently asking for permission to remove her shirt. Jane stood back up, pulling Maura with her. Once they were standing, Jane allowed Maura to remove her top before she reached around Maura for her zipper. Jane slowly unzipped her dress, running her hand along Maura’s back as she moved lower. Maura felt her breath hitch. They had barely done anything, and Maura couldn’t believe how turned on she already was.

Jane pulled Maura’s dress down and allowed it to fall to the floor before pulling Maura back in for a kiss. Their tongues battled while Maura’s hands went to unbutton Jane’s pants. She paused for a few seconds to allow Jane to stop her, but when she didn’t, Maura slowly lowered Jane’s pants down her hips until they fell to the ground. As Jane went to remove her jeans, socks, and shoes, Maura stepped out of her dress and shoes and crawled back on the bed. She reached across to turn on the lamp before sitting back in the middle of the bed.

The light turning on caused Jane to look up, but Maura whispered, “I want to be able to see you.”

“Okay,” Jane breathed. She couldn’t take her eyes off Maura, who sat in the middle of her bed in just her bra and panties. “You are absolutely breathtakingly beautiful.”

Maura blushed. Lots of people had told her she was beautiful, many of them had even said it while they were in bed together, but there was something about the way it sounded coming from Jane that made Maura truly believe it. “And you’re gorgeous,” Maura told Jane as she reached out her hand, an invitation for Jane to join her in bed.

Jane crawled towards Maura, and Maura could see the nervousness in Jane’s face and movements. “Come here,” she said as she pulled Jane down to her once again capturing her lips in a deep sensual kiss. She loved the feeling of Jane’s weight on top of her, the feeling of their skin touching. They laid together like that making out for a while. Maura tried to keep her hands in places she knew Jane would consider “safe.” She alternated between running her hands up and down Jane’s back and intertwining her fingers in Jane’s hair. Eventually, Jane felt comfortable enough to touch her back. She leaned on her right arm and started by running her left hand up Maura’s side. She did this a few times before she allowed her hand to drift forward brushing the side of Maura’s breast. The unexpected sensation caused Maura’s hips to buck and a moan to escape her mouth. This response encouraged Jane, so she reached around Maura and unclasped her bra. She sat back, straddling Maura’s hips, and pulled the straps of Maura’s bra down her shoulders, eventually removing it completely and dropping it over the side of the bed. She leaned forward to continue kissing Maura. She moved her lips down along Maura’s jaw, stopping at her pulse point. Maura let out an audible gasp and turned her head exposing her neck, silently asking for more.

As Jane continued to kiss down Maura’s neck, Maura reached around Jane and removed her bra. She slowly pushed Jane back so that she could look at her fully as she ran her hands up Jane’s sides eventually cupping her breasts. When Maura gently squeezed, Jane dropped her head back enjoying the feelings Maura was eliciting in her body. After a few minutes of enjoying this, Jane leaned forward again kissing Maura fully on the mouth. She resumed her descent down Maura’s jaw and neck moving more quickly this time. She kissed the tops of both of Maura’s breasts before pulling her right breast into her mouth. Maura instantly arched her back pushing herself further into Jane. She knew she was already incredibly wet. As Jane continued sucking and circling Maura’s nipple with her tongue, she brought her right hand up to play with Maura’s left breast. She mirrored the movements of her tongue with her fingers until she had worked both nipples into stiff peaks. She rolled Maura’s nipple between her teeth biting softly causing Maura to gasp. She then kissed across Maura’s chest and switched to her left breast while her hand played with her right. She gave the same attention to this breast, licking, sucking, and biting until Maura was withering beneath her. She loved the sounds Maura was making and Maura thought she was close to exploding.

“Jane…” Maura breathed.

“What do you want?” Jane asked quietly.

Since Maura couldn’t seem to talk, she grabbed Jane’s left hand and brought it between her legs. Jane slowly ran to fingers along her folds causing Maura’s hips to buck.

“Is there anything you don’t like or don’t want?” Jane whispered.

“No, you can do anything. I trust you, Jane, but please, I need you,” Maura whined.

Jane adjusted her hand and circled Maura’s clit lightly. Maura moaned in response and pushed her hips forward seeking more contact. Jane pressed down harder before slipping her fingers further back. She alternated between circling Maura’s clit and circling her opening until Maura couldn’t stand it anymore and started begging. “Please, Jane. I need…” Maura gasped as Jane plunged two fingers into her opening. Jane didn’t give her time to adjust and started pumping hard and fast making sure the heel of her hand hit Maura’s clit on every thrust. Maura’s hands flew to the bedsheets as she tried to ground herself, but she was quickly overwhelmed. She felt her orgasm crash into her. Every muscle in her body spasmed as she cried out her release. Jane continued pumping into Maura as she rode out her climax, trying to extend Maura’s pleasure as long as possible.

Maura collapsed into the bed trying to catch her breath. However, before her body could recover, she felt Jane kiss lower down her body. She was only beginning to process what was happening when Jane’s lips wrapped around her hardened clit. Her eyes flew open and her hands flew to Jane’s hair.

“Oh, Jane, I don’t think…” Maura started, but she couldn’t continue as Jane’s tongue worked her back up quickly as it circled, tapped, and pushed against her clit. Just as a second orgasm was hitting her, Jane entered her with three fingers. Jane didn’t have a chance to pump her fingers as Maura’s vaginal walls grabbed hold of her fingers. She curled her fingers inside Maura as she sucked her clit as hard as she could. A second, more powerful orgasm overtook Maura.

When her orgasm subsided, Maura pulled Jane up to her knowing she couldn’t go again if Jane tried. She gave Jane a brief kiss on the lips but couldn’t deepen it as she still couldn’t catch her breath. Jane laid next to Maura, pressed against her side with her head tucked in the crook of her neck just savoring the feelings of being this close to her as Maura recovered.

After a few minutes, Maura found her voice. “Oh my god,” she said, still sounding out of breath.

Jane giggled and lifted her head to look at Maura. “I take it you enjoyed that?” she asked with a smirk.

Maura looked Jane in the eye, “That was fucking amazing. I have a hard time believing that is the first time you’ve ever done that.”

This made Jane chuckle. “Well, it’s the first time I’ve done that to another woman, but I figured since I didn’t really know what I was doing, I could at least start with what I like. Plus, you’re pretty responsive, so I just kept doing more of what you seemed to like.”

Maura laughed. “Who would have guessed that the qualities that make you a good detective would also make you good in bed,” Maura said.

Jane laughed again and buried her face in the crook of Maura’s neck. Maura turned towards Jane and kissed her head.

Humming, Maura whispered, “I love you so much, Jane.”

“I love you too, Maura,” Jane said as she looked back at Maura. She could see that Maura was struggling to stay awake, so she pulled Maura to her and said, “Sleep, love.”

“No, I want to show you how much I love you. I want to make you feel as good as you’ve made me feel,” Maura protested. She really did want to make love to Jane, but her body was exhausted, and she was having a hard time fighting to stay awake for this conversation.

“Tomorrow, love,” Jane told her. “We have the rest of our lives to show each other how much we love each other, but now it’s time to sleep.”

Maura fell asleep before she could even respond with her head on Jane’s chest and her arm wrapped around her waist. Jane smiled to herself and pulled the sheet over the both of them, wrapping both her arms around Maura. Before she fell asleep herself, she whispered, “I love you, Maur,” one more time.


	13. A New Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is rated M.

_Monday_

_Maura’s POV_

Maura couldn’t be happier as she slowly woke up from one of the best nights of sleep she had had in a long time. She buried her face in the crook of Jane’s neck trying to get as close to her as possible.

“Hmm,” Jane hummed as she pulled Maura closer against her body. “Good morning.”

“Good morning, Jane,” Maura said as she lifted her head to look at her girlfriend.

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

“Nooooo,” Jane groaned reaching over to turn off the alarm. “I don’t want to go to work. I want to stay here in bed with you all day.”

Maura giggled softly, “I would like that too, but since you only have two weeks left, you should probably go to work.”

Jane rolled her eyes. “I know,” she whined.

Maura gave Jane a light shove to get her moving. “We went to bed without washing up or brushing our teeth,” she said. “Unless you want to go to work smelling like sex and wine, you need to shower.”

“What if I like that smell?” Jane teased, but she got out of bed anyway and headed to the bathroom to take a shower.

While waiting for Jane to finish in the bathroom, Maura pulled Jane’s pillow towards her and held it close to her body. Her mind travelled back to the night before. She would never forget the first time Jane made love to her. She could feel herself getting wet at she thought about it. _Damn it. Today was going to be a long day,_ she thought to herself. Sighing, she rolled onto her back as she heard the shower shut off.

“Hmm, I could get used to this view in the morning,” Jane said as she leaned against the doorframe. Maura was laying on her back with her chest bare, the sheet bunched around her waist, and her arm draped across her face.

Maura laughed and threw the pillow at Jane.

“Hey!” Jane exclaimed, catching the pillow. She walked over to the bed, leaned over, and gave Maura a quick kiss before turning to her closet to get dressed.

Maura stayed in bed and watched her girlfriend get ready for the day. _Girlfriend…_ she wasn’t sure she would ever get used to calling Jane her girlfriend, but she loved it.

“What’s with the smile?” Jane asked, drawing Maura from her thoughts.

“I was thinking about how I like calling you my girlfriend,” Maura answered honestly. She also liked the grin that spread across Jane’s face upon hearing her comment.

“Me too,” Jane said. After a pause, Jane said, “I’m going to take the VRE shuttle to and from work today so that you can use the car.”

“Are you sure?” Maura asked with a furrowed brow. “If I decide to go anywhere, I can take an Uber or I can drive you to and from work.”

“Definitely. Trust me, you don’t want to drive me to work or try to get on base at the end of the day to pick me up. The shuttle is fine. Sometimes, I take it just so I can get work done on the commute, so it’s not an inconvenience at all,” Jane told her.

“Okay,” Maura said. “I’ll go grocery shopping today, then, and I will get boxes and packing supplies, as well. Are there any things I can pack on my own? I don’t want to go through your things or snoop, but I’d like to help.”

Jane rolled her eyes and laughed, “Honestly, you can pack whatever you want. As long as you leave out things I’ll need over the next two weeks like work clothes or whatever, I don’t care. I don’t have anything that you can’t see – at least not that I remember.” Jane laughed nervously but continued, “Besides, I hate packing, so you’d be doing me a favor.” She turned back towards Maura, “But please don’t think you need to do anything while I’m at work. I’m fine with anything you want to do, but I don’t want you to feel like you _have_ to do anything, if that makes sense. If you just want to relax…” Jane trailed off.

Maura smiled at Jane’s nervousness, “Jane, I know. I want to help, okay?”

“Okay,” Jane confirmed.

“Alright, then, I am going to go make coffee and breakfast while you finish getting ready.” Maura found her pajamas from Saturday night and pulled them on before heading to the kitchen. She started the coffee machine and started her search for a suitable breakfast.

Maura shook her head and muttered under her breath, “What am I going to do with you, Jane? Do you have any real food?” She finally found oats in the back of the cupboard that weren’t expired yet, probably only because she’d lived here less than a year.

Jane walked out ready for the day just as Maura was putting the oatmeal and coffee on the table. “You’re the best!” Jane told Maura as she leaned down to kiss her cheek before sitting down.

“Do you have time to eat before you have to leave to catch the bus?” Maura asked.

“I have a few minutes – not long though. Honestly, you shoved me out of bed much faster than I would normally get up,” Jane added with a laugh.

Maura glared at Jane but didn’t comment. “Do you have a busy day at work today?” she asked Jane.

“Kinda,” Jane said. “The end of the week and next week will be a lot busier though since final exams are next week.”

Jane left a few minutes later with a fresh cup of coffee in her travel mug. Maura cleaned up the dishes before heading to take a shower. While she showered, she thought about what she wanted to do while she was in Virginia besides spending as much time as possible with Jane – or more accurately _in addition_ to spending as much time as possible with Jane. Her mind kept going back to last night and what she wanted to _do_ to Jane.

Maura’s phone pinged as she was getting out of the shower. She was slightly disappointed when it wasn’t a text from Jane, which made her feel a little ridiculous since they hadn’t even been apart for an hour.

It was a text from Jane’s friend Kate. It was a group message that included Claire and three unknown numbers. Maura assumed they were other people in Jane’s friend group.

Kate: **_Hi Maura, I hope you and Jane had a good rest of your weekend. I wanted to reach out to talk to you about planning a going away party for Jane. I’m not sure what your or Jane’s plans are for the week/next weekend, but do you think we might be able to find a day that works?_**

Maura: **_Of course! I know she would want to have a chance to say goodbye to all of you, as well. I will make sure that whatever day you pick works for us._**

Claire: **_Great. We’d like to keep it a surprise though, so if that affects the date, can we take that into account?_**

Maura: **_Yes, I have plenty of experience manipulating Jane’s schedule._** ** _😉_**

Maura: **_Sorry, that didn’t come across as I intended._**

Maura blushed. Of course, she would put her foot in her mouth the first time she texts Jane’s friends.

Maura: **_I would never abuse my friendship with Jane intentionally._**

Unknown number 1: **_Ha ha, Maura, it’s okay. We all know Jane…and how whipped she is._**

Maura didn’t know what whipped meant so she googled it. Her slow response must have made whoever sent the text nervous because she got another response.

Unknown number 1: **_I was just teasing. She loves you Maura._**

Unknown number 2: **_I think we’re straying from the point. I also think this could be a really long conversation if we keep second guessing how everyone is reading the texts. Let’s just assume everyone means well._**

Maura laughed at the last text. This was something she would say in a group of her own close friends, but it did ease her discomfort.

Maura: **_I agree. We can make any day work._**

Kate: **_Okay, I’m going to check with a few people and get back to you guys._**

Maura: **_Okay, thank you. Also, I don’t know whose numbers are in this group. Could everyone identify themselves? Thank you in advance._**

Kate instantly replied by sending the contact cards for everyone in the group and Maura added them to her phone. The three numbers belonged to Laura, Jeff, and Amy.

Maura continued getting ready for the day as she made a mental list of what she needed to get from the store today. She decided she would head to Home Depot to get boxes and packing supplies before heading to the grocery store.

Her phone pinged again as she was getting ready to walk out the door.

Kate: **_Maura, does Saturday afternoon/evening work? That was the day that the most people were available for. Friday evening wasn’t far behind though if that’s better._**

Maura: **_Saturday is wonderful._**

Kate: **_Great! I’m gonna let people know informally. Then tonight I’ll make a list of what needs to get done and let everyone know._**

Maura: **_Thank you. I would like to help in any way I can._**

Maura had a productive day. She ran her errands and still had time to pack quite a bit of Jane’s things and make dinner for the two of them. As she made dinner, she couldn’t help but think to herself how happy she was. She had always known how much Jane meant to her, but she had underestimated the effect Jane had on her happiness. She was disappointed in herself for letting things with Ian get so far. She never should have kissed him or gone with him in Paris. Maybe this miserable year never would have happened, but maybe they would also still be avoiding their feelings. Maura sighed. Either way she had been foolish, and her actions had hurt the one person she loved more than anyone else.

* * *

_Jane’s POV_

Jane was exhausted. Despite telling Maura this morning that today wouldn’t be super busy, it ended up being a hectic day. The recruits were clearly stressing about their final exams, and she was held after class by students to answer questions after every class session today. She never even got to eat lunch today. She was tired, hungry, and just wanted to see Maura.

Jane opened the door to her apartment and immediately felt better, her face breaking into a huge smile. The apartment smelled amazing from whatever Maura was cooking, but the sight of Maura in the kitchen swaying slightly along with the music she had playing in the background while she cooked is what she really loved. Jane wasn’t one of those people who dreamed of a cliché domestic life; she wasn’t against marriage and a family, but she had always been more focused on her career. However, seeing Maura like this, all she wanted was to have this for the rest of her life. She wanted to come home to Maura every day; she wanted to see Maura like this, and she wanted Maura to see her like this when Maura came home from a long day of work to Jane cooking dinner for the two of them.

Jane realized she had been standing in the doorway staring when Maura turned around and gave her a soft smile. Jane closed the door and walked to the kitchen. Wrapping her arms around Maura, she pulled her in for a sweet kiss. “Hey,” she whispered.

“Hi, Jane,” Maura responded. “Dinner’s almost ready. Why don’t you go change into something more comfortable and wash up for dinner?”

“Hmm,” Jane hummed. “That sounds good, but first…” Jane leaned in and captured Maura’s lips in a deep kiss that she hoped conveyed her appreciation. “I love you,” Jane added as she pulled away.

“I love you, too, Jane,” Maura said. The smile didn’t leave her face as Jane left the room.

Maura had plated the food and had everything set up at the table by the time Jane got back. “Beer doesn’t really go with dinner, so I hope you’re okay with wine,” Maura said.

Jane chuckled and teased Maura, “You’re the expert.” Maura rolled her eyes, but Jane continued, “I hope you know you didn’t have to cook, but I’m not going to lie, this is amazing. I’m starving.”

Maura laughed, “Let me guess, you forgot about lunch?”

“Maybe,” Jane replied.

“I know I didn’t have to. I _wanted_ to. I enjoy cooking, and I really enjoy cooking for you.” Maura hoped Jane couldn’t see the blush creeping up her neck and face as she continued, “I also went grocery shopping and made a meal plan for the week. I figured this weekend we could do the same for next week. Tonight, we’re having cedar plank salmon with risotto and a garden salad. I made enough for both of us to have leftovers for lunch tomorrow.”

“Well, thank you. It looks great,” Jane said. She took a bite and couldn’t help the sound that passed her lips, “Mmmm. Wow, Maur. This is amazing.”

“Thank you. So how was work?” Maura asked. “You look exhausted.”

“Gee, thanks,” Jane said sarcastically.

“I didn’t mean…” Maura started, but Jane cut her off.

“I know. I’m just teasing you. It was a busy day. The recruits are really starting to stress about finals, so they were all over me today. It’s fine though. I don’t mind helping them. Honestly, directly helping the students is my favorite part. That’s definitely the part I will miss the most.”

“You would still get to do that if you worked at the BPD Academy,” Maura said.

“True,” Jane said. She paused before she continued, “But I think I’m leaning towards the advocate job.” Jane said this last part quickly before she looked at Maura to gauge her reaction.

Maura was surprised by this. Her fork stopped halfway to her mouth and she stared at Jane.

Jane cringed internally. “That’s not what you were hoping to hear, was it?” she asked.

“No, Jane, no, that’s not what I was thinking. Not at all,” Maura said quickly. “First, I really want you to choose something you find fulfilling. I could never be disappointed in your decision – unless you made a decision based on what you _think I want_ instead of what you actually want. To be honest, it’s just not what I expected you to decide.”

Jane laughed, “You thought I’d pick the Academy?”

“I actually thought you’d end up deciding to go back to the force,” Maura confessed. “I’d be okay with that too; I hope you know that.”

“I appreciate that, Maur, but I think I’m ready for something new,” Jane said. Then she laughed, “That probably sounds funny since that was my reasoning for coming to the FBI, but I mean it this time. I want to move away from investigation – even teaching investigation – and do something that feels like I’m helping people more directly. I also love the idea of helping kids. I know it will be hard, especially emotionally, but I think I can handle it. I think I’d be good at it,” she added quietly.

Maura beamed, “I think you would be a wonderful child advocate. I’ve seen you with victim’s families and with minor suspects. I’ve always been humbled by and in awe of your ability to empathize with them, even children who have made grave mistakes. Your…gruff…exterior persona can make it seem like you are skeptical of people – and sometimes you are – but you truly believe that most people, and children in particular, are inherently good.”

Now it was Jane’s turn to blush. “Thanks,” she whispered.

They both ate in silence for a few minutes lost in their own thoughts. Maura was the first to speak again, “So no guns?”

Jane burst out laughing. She hadn’t been expecting that. “I don’t really think teaching at the Academy is that dangerous, even if people are learning to shoot. But, I guess you are right. This job wouldn’t include guns,” Jane said. “I do plan to maintain my private permit, though,” she added. “I’m not sure I could ever be truly comfortable without some protection.”

“I know,” Maura assured her. “I never thought otherwise. I know it’s silly. Of course, teaching at the Academy is perfectly safe, but something about the advocate position feels safer.” Maura shrugged, “I could be wrong, though. Maybe, I should research violent crimes committed against advocates.”

Jane chuckled, “Please don’t.”

Maura joined her laughter, “Sorry, I suppose I got carried away.” She sobered before continuing, “I really just want you to be safe.”

Jane reached out and grabbed Maura’s hand, “I know, love. I know, you do. I want that too. I want both of us to be safe. I think we’ve had our fair share of danger and tragedy.”

Maura gave her a sad smile, “I agree.” They got lost in each other’s eyes for a few moments before Jane broke the spell when she noticed all the boxes.

Jane quickly looked around the apartment. “Wait, did you basically finish packing while I was at work today?” she asked.

Maura shrugged, “You don’t really have much. I packed your memorabilia, movies, and books in the living room. I kept careful track of which books are in which boxes in case you need anything for work, but since most of them were fiction, I thought it was fine to pack them. I also packed up most of the kitchen with the exception of the essentials that we will need over the next two weeks. I didn’t do anything in your bedroom or the bathroom, though.”

“Jeez, you’re efficient,” Jane laughed. “I’m not going to have to do anything.”

“Oh, you will be helping,” Maura assured her with a laugh. “You’ll probably end up helping more with unpacking though than packing. I really don’t mind having something to do while you are at work.” Maura paused, before asking quietly, “Have you thought more about where you want to live?” Maura couldn’t look Jane in the eye while she waited for her response. She knew it wasn’t unreasonable for Jane to want to live on her own when she moved back to Boston. They had only just started dating, but she would be lying to herself if she didn’t admit that she really wanted Jane to move in with her.”

Jane watched Maura avoid eye contact for a few seconds before she replied, “I thought about it a lot today actually. It’s basically all I thought about on both of my commutes.” Jane paused as she tried to read Maura, but Maura was still looking anywhere but at her. “Are you sure you don’t want some time on your own after Ian moves out?”

“I don’t need time. I already know how much I hate you leaving in the evening. I completely understand, though, if you need time – I know it’s technically fast. I also understand if you are uncomfortable with Ian having lived in my house. I don’t want you to feel like you are just filling his space because that’s not how I feel.” Maura chuckled humorlessly, “I think it was quite the opposite. He was trying – and failing – to fill your space. My house only ever felt like a home when you were a part of it.”

Jane smiled lightly. “Your house always felt more like home than any of my apartments,” she admitted. Finally, Maura met her gaze hopefully. Jane paused, then continued, “I do want to move in together. I really really _really_ hated leaving every night. Would you be open to eventually looking for a new place together?”

Maura’s face lit up. “I would love that!” she exclaimed.

“I want to take our time though to find the perfect place – _our_ forever home. It’s a little bit about it having been Ian’s house for a while, but really it’s much more about what I want our future together to look like. In the meantime, if you are sure you’re okay with it, I would love to move into your house. Can we maybe get a new mattress though?”

Maura laughed, “Of course. We can get a whole new bed if you want.”

“Let’s start with a new mattress. Then once we find a house, we can decide if we want a new bed to match the new bedroom or whatever. The mattress will still fit a new bed in a few months.”

“I like that idea. We could go to the mattress store this weekend if you want, and the new mattress could be delivered before we get home.”

“Honestly, I’m not picky. Every mattress you have ever had has been a million times more comfortable than anything I’ve had. We can go this weekend, but if there are other things you want to do together, I’d also be fine if you decided on your own.”

“If that’s the case, I already know my favorite mattress. I don’t need to go lay on mattresses that a lot of other people have laid on. Personally, I find that just _gross_ , but I would do it to find a mattress you like,” Maura said.

Jane laughed. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you refer to something as gross. That word is no where near specific enough, Dr. Isles,” she teased. “I seriously don’t care. Go ahead and order what you like, but we’re splitting the cost.”

Maura didn’t answer and she looked guilty. “I can’t afford half of this mattress, can I?” Jane asked.

“Well…” Maura started not knowing what to say. She didn’t want to make Jane feel bad, but she wasn’t sure if this was something about which she was willing to compromise.

“Maura, it’s okay. I get it. We’re going to have to figure out the finances of living together and especially buying a house together, but for now, get the mattress you want. I’m planning to sell most of my furniture here, so I’ll put all the money I get from selling things, plus $1,000 towards the mattress. I won’t get a ton; it isn’t high quality stuff. The only nice piece of furniture I have is the couch you bought for me and I was hoping to keep it, maybe put it in one of the secondary rooms in the new house.”

Maura smiled warmly, “I think that sounds like a good idea. I actually love that you want to keep the couch. I think it’s sweet.” She added quickly, “But it’s not going in the main living and/or family room.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not going to mess with your décor,” Jane assured her.

“I want it to be your house too. I want both of us to love the whole house but especially the main rooms,” Maura said.

“I know, and I appreciate that. And just so you know, I’m not gonna make you settle for a house that isn’t up to your standards just because it’s what I can afford. We need to talk about the finances, and we need to come up with something we’re both comfortable with. I just don’t want you to worry. I know I can’t afford your lifestyle. Yeah, money makes me uncomfortable. I know you know that about me. I never want you to feel like I’m taking advantage of you or that I care about your money, but somewhere along the line I realized that just as I would never want you to think that I’m with you for your money, it’s also not fair to make you live a certain way based on what I can afford. I don’t know if that makes any sense, but…” Jane trailed off nervously.

Maura leaned across the table and gave Jane a short kiss. “I love you so much, Jane. What you are saying makes complete sense and it means a lot to me. Trust me, I know you’re not with me for my money. I just really don’t want money to become a problem for us.”

“Me neither,” Jane said as she leaned back in for another kiss. “Why don’t you go get changed while I do the dishes.”

Maura smiled, “Hmm, I like the sound of that. I’m going to wash up and change and I’ll meet you in the bedroom?”

“Sounds good,” Jane said. She quickly did the dishes before making sure everything was secure and locked for the night. It wasn’t late yet, but all she wanted to do was cuddle in bed with Maura and talk. She headed back to the bedroom to join Maura, but when she walked in she stopped in her tracks with her mouth hanging open. “Fuck,” she whispered.

“Yes, that is what I had planned,” Maura said. Maura was laying on Jane’s bed in deep red lingerie looking – in Jane’s words – sexy as all hell. Maura raised an eyebrow at the expression on Jane’s face. She let out a soft laugh, before whispering, “Are you going to join me?”

Jane quickly walked towards the bed shedding her clothes almost instantaneously in the process.

"Hey, I wanted to do that,” Maura pouted.

Jane ignored her, still focused on Maura. “You are beautiful and sexy and just fucking amazing,” she whispered reverently.

Maura giggled softly as Jane climbed on top of her. Jane’s pupils were almost fully dilated so they looked black as Maura cupped her hands around Jane’s face and pulled her into a passionate kiss. Maura moaned loudly into Jane’s mouth when Jane settled her full weight on top of Maura. She situated herself so that her thigh pressed in between Maura’s legs and Maura’s thigh was between her own legs. Jane was sure she would never get tired of the sounds coming from Maura. Both women continued to moan louder as they ground into each other finding an easy rhythm. Jane knew she was incredibly wet, and that Maura had to feel it dripping all over her thigh, but for once she didn’t care. All she could think about was Maura and how good Maura felt – how good they felt together. Their kisses got sloppier as their panting got heavier and quicker and their hands searched for as much skin as possible. Just as Jane pulled back to catch her breath intending to kiss down Maura’s jaw and neck, Maura surprised her and reversed their positions. Jane let out a yelp of surprise.

Jane didn’t think it was possible to be more turned on, but she was. As she looked up at Maura above her with a mischievous grin on her face, she was pretty sure she was going to explode. “Maura…” she started in a whisper, but Maura didn’t let her finish as she dove in for another kiss. Their tongues battled as they continued grinding into each other. Maura pulled her lips away somewhat reluctantly and started kissing, nipping, and licking every inch of Jane’s skin within her reach. She quickly leaned exactly where and how to touch to elicit each sound – sucking on Jane’s pulse point elicited a soft moan, a quick nip to the shoulder brought out a gasp, and feather light kisses across her clavicle causes Jane to hitch her breath and push her chest harder up into Maura’s body. Satisfied in her initial cataloguing of Jane’s reactions, she brought her right hand up to Jane’s left breast and began softly massaging. Jane instantly groaned and arched her back. “Maura…” she whispered again.

Jane knew she wasn’t going to last long. “Maura, I’m so close,” she breathed out.

“Come with me Jane,” Maura whispered in return as she switched to Jane’s right breast and ground her body as fast and hard as she could against Jane, pushing her thigh as hard as possible into Jane. Maura was losing control and could tell Jane was too. On a particularly hard thrust, she pinched Jane’s nipple causing Jane’s body to freeze and arch up. Jane came hard and fast calling out Maura’s name loudly. Maura wanted to watch Jane’s orgasm, but she couldn’t hold her own as she quickly followed Jane over the edge. Every muscle in both of their bodies tensed and pulsed as they rode out their orgasms. They collapsed onto the bed together panting.

After a few minutes, Maura turned her head, pushing her hair out of her face, and giving Jane a soft kiss on the cheek while she tried to regulate her breathing.

“Fuck, Maura, that was…” Jane tried, but her brain wasn’t functioning yet so she couldn’t finish the sentence.

Maura giggled, “I’m not done yet. I didn’t even get to feel you, but after thinking about you all day long, I knew I had to start with a position that would let us come together.”

“I liked it,” Jane grinned.

“Just like?” Maura questioned teasingly.

Jane rolled her eyes and pulled Maura closer to her, “No, I _loved_ it.

They laid there together for a few minutes as they caught their breath. After a while, Maura started kissing Jane’s neck and her hand wandered down to Jane’s folds. She lightly stroked back and forth along Jane’s slit avoiding too much pressure on her clit. She wasn’t sure how sensitive Jane was after an orgasm; plus, she wanted to take her time and enjoy this one. Jane’s hips bucked involuntarily at Maura’s touch. As Maura lowered herself and took Jane’s right breast into her mouth, she increased the pressure of her strokes. Jane moaned loudly and threaded her fingers through Maura’s hair holding her close. Maura rolled Jane’s tightened nipple between her teeth as she switched to circling Jane’s clit with her fingers. She loved the feel of Jane’s body against hers as she felt her pick up the pace of her movements. Maura continued circling Jane’s clit; every few strokes she ran her fingers back to Maura’s opening. At first, she just stroked, but as Jane became more worked up, she dipped just the tip of her fingers into Jane before moving back to circle her clit. Maura shifted so that she could switch to Jane’s left breast. She switched hands, so that she was propped up on her left forearm and resumed her ministrations with her right hand.

“Maura, I need…I need you inside…please,” Jane whined. Maura was good at this. She seemed to be able to quickly find all of Jane’s favorite spots. Jane figured it was a combination of Maura’s knowledge of anatomy combined with her ability to read Jane after all these years of being friends, but she wasn’t complaining. Despite having asked for it, Jane let out a strangled yell when Maura entered her with two fingers. Maura adjusted her hand so that she was pumping two fingers into Jane while her thumb pressed on Jane’s clit. She moved in and out slowly at first as she watched and listened to Jane’s reaction to her touch, but Jane needed more. “Harder,” Jane breathed. Maura complied and Jane felt her fingers pump faster and curl harder within her body. She loved the feeling of Maura inside her. She was quickly approaching her climax, but she tried to hold it off as long as possible. She wanted to prolong this; she never wanted this moment to end, but when Maura added a third finger and curled her fingers to perfectly hit that spot inside her, she couldn’t hold on any longer. Her orgasm hit her like a freight train. It was more intense than the last orgasm, undoubtedly the best and strongest orgasm of her life.

* * *

_Maura’s POV_

Maura was pretty sure she could die happy right at this moment. She had never loved the feeling of anything as much as she did Jane’s vaginal walls clamped down and pulsing around her fingers. She continued to try and move her fingers and her thumb to draw out every ounce of pleasure from Jane’s body. After nearly a minute of convulsions, Jane finally collapsed on the bed. Maura climbed back up her body and gave her a quick peck on the lips before snuggling into Jane.

Maura had never been happier or felt more loved and at peace than she did as she lay curled into Jane as Jane recovered from her orgasm. She wasn’t sure how much time had passed when she felt Jane turn into her and lightly kiss the top of her head making her smile. She ran her hand up and down Jane’s side as she shifted to look up at Jane with a shy smile.

“Um, that was fucking amazing,” Jane said still sounding a little short of breath.

“I’m glad I could satisfy you,” Maura said as she leaned up to give Jane a real kiss.

Jane returned the kiss before replying, “I’m pretty sure satisfied is the understatement of the century.” They kissed slowly for a few minutes before Jane broke away and said, “You’re still a little overdressed my love.” She quickly removed Maura’s lingerie before resuming their relaxed make-up session.

They spent the rest of the evening wrapped up in each other, kissing and making love late into the night. By the time they fell asleep for good, Jane and Maura each had four more intense orgasms, coming together two of those times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic will still go through the wedding and if people are still interested, I will eventually write 1-2 sequels. I will take a break between the end of this story and the sequels though to write a few other stories (all Rizzles, but different “universes”). I have a Christmas story planned and want to have this story, Wish Upon A Star, and the new multi-chapter Christmas story (and maybe more if I’m productive) all finished before the end of the year.
> 
> Also, to be honest, I have no idea how much a luxury mattress costs, so I don’t actually know if Jane would or wouldn’t be able to afford it. It seems like something Maura would spend a ridiculous about of money on though.
> 
> Consider yourself warned, more drama is coming, but it will be mild compared to the first half of the story.


	14. Visiting the FBI

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought you all might enjoy the fact that I am now getting ads for luxury mattresses since I googled them for the last chapter.

_Thursday_

_Jane’s POV_

“Ready?” Jane called out to Maura who was still in the bathroom. “We need to leave soon, and I know how you get when you don’t eat breakfast.”

Maura rolled her eyes as she walked out of the bathroom. “I think you have that backwards,” she said. “You’re the one who gets – what’s the word you like to use? – _hangry_ when you don’t eat.”

Jane shrugged. “Does that mean I can eat your breakfast?” she asked.

“No!” Maura said with a laugh. They sat together at the table, eating their breakfast in comfortable silence. “I’m looking forward to seeing you teach today and touring the FBI’s morgue.”

“I’m not even going to ask which one you are looking forward to more,” Jane teased.

“I plead the fifth,” Maura joked back.

“Let’s go,” Jane said, still laughing.

Traffic wasn’t bad on their drive to the Academy, and they arrived with plenty of time to stop by Jane’s office before her first class.

“Today, the recruits will be conducting practice interrogations ahead of their finals next week. They’ll be grouped into teams of three and each person in the group will get a different card,” Jane said holding up the pile of cards for Maura to see. “One will be the perp and the other two will be the interrogation team. They’ll do three different interrogations lasting one hour each, rotating roles each time. That way, each recruit will get the same time to practice. There are 18 recruits in the morning session and 21 in the afternoon session. Honestly, I’m lucky both classes can be divided into groups of three”

“That sounds interesting. Can I read the cards?” Maura asked.

“Of course,” Jane said, handing her one of the sets of cards as they walked into the classroom. “You’re welcome to sit wherever you want to observe, but it might make sense to sit over there,” Jane told her as she pointed to the back corner near the window. “You can hold onto that set of cards, but I’ll need them back for the afternoon class.”

Maura walked to the back of the room while recruits began arriving and taking their seats. Many of them greeted Jane with a “hello” or “good morning” as they walked in.

At exactly 8:30am, Jane started class by describing the interrogation practices for the day. She handed out the cards and started the first hour of interrogations at 8:45am. She walked between groups, listening to their interrogations.

When the hour was up, she called, “TIME!” The talking ceased immediately, and everyone’s attention was again focused on Jane. “How did you all feel after that mock interrogation?”

One of the top recruits, John, raised his hand. Jane pointed to him. “The cases you set up were well thought out…”

“I sense a ‘but’ coming,” Jane said with a smirk.

“I…yeah…there’s a ‘but,’” John said with a laugh. “The cases were good, but we need more of a challenge.”

Jane raised an eyebrow, “What did you have in mind?”

“Let us interrogate you.”

Jane was surprised by this idea. “Okay, but I didn’t commit a crime,” Jane said slowly.

“But I’m sure you have something we can try to get out of you,” John challenged. He knew she would have a hard time ignoring the challenge.

“ _If_ I agree to this – and that’s a big if – what do I get if you can’t break me?” Jane replied.

“An ego boost?” John said, unable to come up with a better response.

Maura laughed in the back, causing Jane to glance up at her and a few heads to turn in her direction.

“I’m pretty sure Dr. Isles laugh implies she doesn’t think my ego needs a boost, but I can’t say I’m not intrigued by this.” Jane paused for a few seconds, thinking through whether or not this would be a good idea. In the end, her pride won out and she couldn’t back down from the challenge. “Alright, you’re on, but I set the rules.

“We have a little over 2 hours left in the class period. We will start the interrogation at 10:30. You will stay in your groups and each group will have 10 minutes to interrogate me, meaning the full interrogation will last about an hour. You will be able to watch each other’s interrogations, and you can talk within your interrogation group. However, groups cannot talk to each other. You can prepare within your groups until 10:30. There will not be breaks in between groups, and we will use the end of class to debrief.

“And…” Jane added, “I will up the stakes. If you successfully break me as a class, you will only have to answer one of the two essay questions on the written portion of the exam. So, your goal is to figure out what I did on the Friday after Thanksgiving last year.”

“Who gets to decide which side wins?” Bella, another recruit, asked.

“I’m still the instructor, so I could make that decision myself, but I’ll let Dr. Isles be the judge,” Jane said, pointing to the back of the room.

Maura’s eyes widened. Part of her didn’t want to have that effect on the recruits final, but the other part of her wanted to participate. She nodded to Jane, confirming she would be the final judge.

“Okay, take the next 30 minutes to strategize in your groups. I’m going to talk to Dr. Isles to come up with a strategy of my own.”

The recruits immediately started talking within their groups, and Jane walked back to where Maura was sitting, grabbing a chair to sit next to her.

“Are you okay with this?” she whispered to Maura.

Maura smiled, “I don’t love being put on the spot, but I’m up for it. You’re not going to go down easy, are you?”

“Of course not!” Jane said. “Had I known we were going to do this, I would have come up with a better ‘confession,’ but it’s the best I could come up with on the spot. I didn’t want something they could find on Google, so that cut out every non-confidential case from Boston.”

Maura laughed, “True. How much do they have to figure out in order to win, as they put it?”

Jane shrugged, “Honestly, I trust your judgement. I also have a feeling that we will both know the minute they ‘break’ me.” Jane made air quote when she said _break me_.

“As long as you don’t get angry with me if they win,” Maura said.

“I won’t.”

Maura and Jane chatted about other things until 10:25 when Jane went back to the front of the class. She wrote down 1-6 on pieces of paper and mixed them up. She then had each group pick a number before she took a seat at the make-shift interrogation table.

“Okay, you will go in order from 1 to 6 based on the number your group drew. You can ask me anything, but you cannot question Dr. Isles. Group 1,” she called.

Three recruits came forward; Trish, a five-foot-two force of nature, took the seat opposite her. “Did you return to Boston for Thanksgiving weekend in November 2016?” she asked.

“Yeah,” Jane said. She figured that wasn’t worth lying about.

“Who did you celebrate Thanksgiving with?” Trish continued.

“Family.”

“Be more specific,” John said from behind Trish.

“ _My_ family,” Jane said. She definitely wasn’t going to go easily.

John walked forward and sat on the table. He was trying to use his large stature to intimidate her, but Jane wasn’t that easily intimidated. “You mother, two brothers, and their families?” John asked.

Jane was impressed but unnerved that he knew her immediate family included her Ma, Frankie, and Tommy.

“Yeah,” Jane confirmed.

“Anyone else?” John asked.

“A few friends,” Jane said.

“Dr. Isles?” Trish asked.

“Yeah, she’s family,” Jane said without thinking. She internally cursed herself – never give more information than was asked. She saw that a couple of recruits in the room caught onto this slip.

The questioning continued much along these lines, asking about who she spent the holiday weekend with. One thing she noticed is that none of them had asked about whether she or Maura had a significant other there. By group 4, Jane was getting bored and she was beginning to wonder if this exercise was actually beneficial for anyone.

Bella sat down in front of Jane. Bella had constantly impressed Jane throughout the semester. She had short cropped black hair; she openly identified as a queer Latinx woman. She gave off an air of confidence even Jane envied. She was good at thinking outside the box.

“When I was 17, I came out as bisexual to my parents and my father kicked me out of the house,” Bella said to Jane, once again catching her off guard. “My mother didn’t care about my sexuality or my gender identity. She loved me no matter what, but she was also afraid of my father, so she refused to stand up to him. I found myself a homeless, underage, senior in high school in a rural, conservative town in Indiana. To be honest, I’m not sure why it was such a surprise to them. I mean look at me,” Bella said, gesturing to herself. A few people in the class laughed, but Jane didn’t. She knew the pain that hid underneath Bella’s story. She may present as and identify as more feminine than Bella, but she had still spent most of her life running from the rumors about her ‘masculine energy’ and her sexuality. She was really wondering where Bella was going with this, but she recognized some of the techniques she had taught during the semester. If she wasn’t nervous about what Bella might ask her, she would be impressed.

“Despite this, I still consider myself lucky. I had a few good friends, who had _good_ understanding parents, so I was able to couch surf for a few months while I saved money until I turned 18. On my 18th birthday, I signed my first lease. Are you lucky enough to have friends like this in your life – people you can count on no matter what?”

“Yes,” was all Jane said.

“Is Dr. Isles one of those people?” Bella asked.

Jane’s eyes flew to Maura. She really hoped this wasn’t making Maura uncomfortable. She would end this before she let that happen. “Yes, I trust Dr. Isles with my life.”

“I’m guessing that also means you are protective of her,” Bella said this as a definitive statement, not a question.

But Jane still answered, “Yes, you could say I’m protective of everyone I care about.”

“I would also guess that this means you have been skeptical of the people that come in and out of your life,” Bella continued.

“So?” Jane said.

“So…you’re protective of her and skeptical of the people in her life…”

Jane cut her off, “I’m protective of all my family and friends.”

Bella ignored her though, “You’re protective of her and skeptical of the people in her life, including her significant others.”

“I don’t know where you are going with this,” Jane said.

“Who else did you see in Boston when you went there for Thanksgiving weekend?” Bella asked.

“I already told you who I spent Thanksgiving weekend with,” Jane said, confused about the change in topic.

“So you didn’t see Dr. Isles’ boyfriend?” Bella continued.

“I…yeah, he was there,” Jane said.

“And you hated him?” Bella said, just as the timer went off indicating group 4’s time was up.

Jane breathed a sigh of relief as group 5 came forward. She mentally ran through which recruits were in the last two groups, trying to figure out whether there was anyone good enough to get her to talk about that Friday. She didn’t think group 5 would get far, but there were two great recruits in group 6.

Group 5 tried to continue where Bella left off, but they didn’t have her mind. They asked whether Jane hated Maura’s boyfriend, but they didn’t know where to go from there.

Despite the recruits in group 6, Jane was feeling pretty confident they wouldn’t break her. Overall, the class hadn’t gotten very far in the first 50 minutes. Bella had made the most progress of anyone, by far.

Akhil, who was probably the second-best recruit after Bella, was the first to speak. “You spent the Friday after Thanksgiving with Dr. Isles.”

Jane opened her mouth to deny this, but Vic, the other good recruit, cut her off. “Don’t try to deny it. We’re not asking; we already know you spent the day with her.”

Jane glanced up at Tim, who was standing behind Akhil and Vic. He wasn’t very assertive, so Jane worried how he would be in the field.

“The two of you enjoyed Boston together. It was basically a date, even though you weren’t dating,” Akhil said.

Jane’s eyes widened, and she didn’t say anything.

“I’m sure you are wondering how we know all this,” Vic said.

“What the earlier groups failed to consider is that Dr. Isles boyfriend at the time,” Akhil looked down at his notes before continuing, “a Dr. Ian Faulkner, disliked you as much as you disliked him.”

 _Damn it,_ Jane thought to herself. _They were good together, and if they continued down this path, they might actually break her. She would definitely let them win before she let them ask too many questions about Maura’s personal life._

“Your point?” Jane asked.

“Dr. Faulkner’s Facebook page is public, and he’s had a few things to say about the two of you recently,” Vic said.

Jane didn’t know what Vic was talking about. She and Ian were never Facebook friends and she never looked at his profile. She glanced back at Maura, and she could instantly tell that this came as a surprise to her, as well. She wanted to ask what Ian had said, but she couldn’t do that to Maura, not in front of a classroom full of recruits.

Jane threw up her hands. “We’re not talking about him or his relationship with Dr. Isles, so what is it you actually want to know,” Jane spit back at him angrily.

Ankhil answered her, “We want to know what you and Dr. Isles did together on the Friday after Thanksgiving.”

Tim had a smug look on his face, which pissed Jane off even more. She wanted to fight back, but she couldn’t so she conceded, “Shit, fine, you win. We went to Boston Common to ice skate and see the Christmas lights.”

The class broke out into applause.

“Class dismissed,” Jane called above the noise.

“Aren’t we going to debrief?” Trish asked.

“No,” Jane snapped. Everyone could tell they shouldn’t press the issue, so they gathered their things and hurried out of the room.

Bella, however, stopped to talk to Jane, “I’m sorry if I crossed a line.”

Jane softened at the statement. “No, I’m the idiot who agreed to this.”

With everyone else gone, Maura had walked up to the pair. “Jane, you didn’t divulge anything inappropriate,” she said. Turning to Bella, she said, “Thank you for sharing your story. I’m sorry you had to endure that kind of rejection, especially from your own family.”

“Thank you, Dr. Isles,” Bella said. “I’m not ashamed of my story, and I’ve found that you never know when honesty might help someone else.”

“That is quite admirable. And please call me Maura.”

“Bella, and it’s nice to meet you, Maura.”

“Thanks Bella. You did good today,” Jane said.

“Thank you, Agent Rizzoli,” Bella said. “Have a good afternoon and see you tomorrow.”

Jane turned to Maura once Bella had left, “I’m really sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Maura said. “I agreed to the exercise. If I’d had any reservations, I know you would have said no, and as I said, you didn’t reveal anything inappropriate. You didn’t have to give in just to save me, though,” Maura added with a smirk. She knew how much Jane hated losing. Maura’s face fell as she continued, “However, we should probably look at what Ian is posting.”

Jane sighed, “I know, but can we maybe wait until we get home? I have a feeling it might piss me off more and no one here needs to see that.”

“Of course; that is probably a good idea,” Maura said. “Let’s go get lunch.”

They headed outside to the lunch cart. Maura ordered a salad and Jane got a sandwich; they got chips to share. It was a beautiful day out, so they found a table in the shade to enjoy their lunch.

Jane calmed down as they sat together talking about the various recruits and other light topics. About 15 minutes before Maura was to meet Jeff to visit the morgue, Jane got up to throw away their trash. As she walked back to the table, she noticed Maura looking in the other direction, an annoyed look on her face. She followed Maura’s gaze to see that she was looking at Cameron Davies, the guy Jane had slept with before taking the job and tried to date a few times after moving here.

“Maur,” Jane called to her as she sat back down. “Maura…” Jane waved her hand in front of Maura’s face to get her attention.

“Oh, sorry. I…”

“Saw Davies; I know,” Jane said. “We’re just friends. We haven’t dated or slept together since the end of last summer, and I doubt I’ll even stay in touch with him when I move back. You have no reason to worry.”

Maura sighed and looked down at her hands as she fidgeted with her ring. “I know, but for a long time I blamed him for you leaving,” Maura confessed quietly.

“Maura,” Jane said.

“I know,” Maura replied to the unsaid comment.

“No, I don’t think you do,” Jane said, causing Maura to look up. Jane reached out and took Maura’s hands in her own. “He was an attempt at a distraction, but it didn’t work because nothing could ever take my attention and love away from you.”

Maura smiled and squeezed Jane’s hands in a silent response. Deciding to change the subject, she said, “I should probably go meet Jeff. Are you going to let the afternoon class interrogate you, as well?”

“Absolutely not!” Jane said. “We’re sticking to the lesson plan this time. I’ll let them skip the essay question based on the morning classes win.”

Maura laughed. She leaned across the table and gave Jane a light kiss before heading off in the direction of the morgue. Jane sighed before heading back to the classroom.

* * *

_Later that evening_

“Oh my god, how did I ever do 16 hour days?” Jane whined. “I’m exhausted.”

“Actually, it has a lot to do with what your brain expects. You expected long hours as a detective, but now you anticipate more traditional hours,” Maura explained. “Also, you get tired after you’re frustrated,” Maura teased.

Jane rolled her eyes. “Yeah, yeah, yeah,” she said. “Let’s eat.”

They sat at the table to eat the Chinese take-out they had picked up on the way home. After they changed into comfortable clothes, they sat on the couch, and Maura asked the question neither of them wanted to think about, “Should we look at what Ian posted?”

“Are you okay with that?” Jane asked her.

“I don’t want to spend the rest of my life checking social media to see what he may or may not post about us, but I think we might need to know this time. Most people don’t know about the break-up yet,” she said.

“Okay,” Jane responded.

Maura grabbed her phone and pulled up Ian’s Facebook page. She scrolled back to the previous Friday to read his posts from the day they broke-up.

_Friday, July 14, 2017 6:53pm Ian Posted: **And just like that I’m single. AGAIN!**_

Various people had commented on his post offering condolences and asking what happened. Ian didn’t respond to the comments, but he posted later again that night.

_Friday, July 14, 2017 10:16pm Ian Posted: **Since so many people are asking, just know that BITCH broke our engagement with no warning.**_

_Saturday, July 15, 2017 1:52am Ian Posted: **she lfet mee 4 a dyke…ben cheetin on me fr montths FUCK MARA ISLSES**_

“Oh, I think he was drunk,” Maura whispered as they continued reading.

_Saturday, July 15, 2017 2:24am Ian Posted: **im gona gt heer back 4 tis**_

“Maura…” Jane started.

“Jane, it’s not a threat. He’s just looking for sympathy. He’s angry and drunk,” Maura said.

Jane sighed but didn’t say anything. They scrolled through the rest of his posts from throughout the week, which were along the same lines as the initial posts. None of the other posts hinted to any threats though.

When Maura turned off her phone, Jane said, “Maura, I don’t like this. What if he tries to come after you?”

“I had the locks changed. Your mother hasn’t said anything about him coming back. He didn’t directly threaten me, so I’m not sure what we can do,” Maura told her.

“I don’t know,” Jane confessed. “Let’s at least check with Ma to make sure there isn’t anything she’s not telling us.

“Okay, but if she doesn’t have anything to say, please don’t scare her unnecessarily. He’s a narcissist, but he has no history of violence.”

“Okay,” Jane said, and she pulled out her phone to call her mom.

“Hello,” Angela answered the phone.

“Hi, Ma,” Jane said.

“Hello, Angela,” Maura said.

“I wasn’t expecting a call from the two of you tonight. To what do I owe the pleasure,” Angela said.

Jane rolled her eyes at her mom trying to sound like she didn’t want to be nosy.

“We’re just checking in on you, and how everything is going back in Boston,” Maura said.

“Everything is fine here,” Angela answered. “I get to spend the day with TJ tomorrow, and we are planning to have Sunday Dinner in the main house this weekend.”

“That’s great, Ma. Has Ian stopped by at all since he moved out?” Jane asked, unable to hold it in any longer.

“No, he was gone by the time the locksmith came on Sunday. I haven’t seen or heard from him since. Does he need something, or did he forget something? I can help,” Angela said.

Maura thanked herself internally that Angela wasn’t suspicious at the question. “No, thank you, Angela. I haven’t heard from him, but I just wanted to make sure everything was taken care of.”

“Yeah, everything has been calm here, uneventful,” Angela said.

After that, the conversation turned to lighter topics. Angela gave them updates on everyone in Boston and Jane and Maura told her about what they have been doing over the past week. All three women hung up happy.

Maura and Jane spent the rest of the evening cuddling on the couch watching TV. Jane was still worried about Ian, but Maura was right, what could they do? She would keep a close eye on Maura and the house when they got home, but for now, she was going to have to try not to worry.


	15. Going-away Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a mini-chapter today.

_Saturday_

_Maura’s POV_

“Thank you for agreeing to visit a museum on your last Saturday in Virginia,” Maura said to Jane as they drove to the National Museum of the Marine Corps. “I know visiting a museum wouldn’t usually be your first choice for a Saturday afternoon, but I’ve always wanted to visit this museum, so I really appreciate it.”

Jane laughed. “Usually not, but it is a war museum, so that’s more up my alley. I also wouldn’t mind seeing it before I leave,” Jane added. “Oh, and I forgot to tell you. Yesterday, my boss asked if I’d consider teaching a short seminar on interrogation for future cohorts. He offered me a contract for three sessions over the next year with the opportunity to renew the contract for future years.”

“That’s wonderful, Jane!” Maura said. “I’m not surprised though; you are a wonderful teacher. Did you sign the contract?”

“Not yet, but I would like to. I told him I’d give him an answer on Monday,” Jane replied. “I wanted to at least tell you before I signed anything.”

“Oh,” Maura said, surprised. “That wasn’t necessary, but I appreciate that you thought about me.” Jane just shrugged so Maura continued, “It seems like a great opportunity for you to still teach – which I think you enjoy and as I said, you are a very good teacher – while also being able to have a career you find more fulfilling.”

“Yeah, I agree,” Jane said. “I really like the idea. It would also be nice to be able to see my friends here at least a few times a year. I’ll sign the contract on Monday.”

“Congratulations, Jane,” Maura added with a smile.

Not long after, they arrived at the museum. They spent hours walking around the museum. Even Jane turned into a nerd wanting to explore every exhibit the museum had to offer, but her favorite exhibit was the rifle range in the Making Marines exhibit. In a perfect example of their opposite personalities, Maura’s favorite exhibit was the Combat Art exhibit. Both women had a wonderful time spending the day together at the museum.

Late in the afternoon, as they were finishing the last exhibit, the Vietnam War exhibit, Jane turned to Maura, “I’m getting hungry; let’s find somewhere close by to eat.”

Maura looked at her watch. _Perfect_ , she thought to herself; it was ten minutes before 4pm. “I am hungry as well,” Maura replied, “but I would like to stop by Tun Tavern before we leave. It’s a recreation of the original Tun Tavern, which was located in Philadelphia before and during the Revolutionary War. It is considered the location of the first recruitment drive for the U.S. Marine Corps during the Revolutionary War. A meeting of the Continental Congress took place at Tun Tavern and George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, and Benjamin Franklin were all regular patrons of the Tavern. Unfortunately, the Tavern burned down near the end of the Revolutionary Way.”

“Okay, thank you for the history less,” Jane teased. “Can we just eat there?”

“It closes to walk-in customers at 4pm,” Maura said. This wasn’t a lie, but she purposely didn’t answer Jane’s question about eating there.

“Oh, we should hurry then,” Jane said. “You should have mentioned something earlier so that you would have more time to see it.”

“We’re okay on time,” Maura assured her as they headed towards the Tavern.

Jane walked through the door first, but she was stopped in her tracks when she heard a loud chorus of “SURPRISE!” Jane’s jaw dropped as she looked around the packed bar to see many of her friends and colleagues in attendance.

Jane turned to look at Maura who had a huge smile on her face. “How…? I thought you said it closed at 4? Did you know about this?” she stuttered.

Maura laughed, “I didn’t lie. It does close to walk-in customers at 4pm, but it is available for rent for private parties in the evenings.”

Jane opened her mouth to respond, but Maura gave her a small push. “Go say hello,” Maura said to her with a smile.

Maura loved how happy Jane looked. She was also proud of herself for pulling this surprise off without Jane finding out. If she were honest with herself, she would have never thought she could keep Jane from finding out. Jane definitely looked surprised, so Maura was pretty sure she had pulled it off. It probably helped that this had been put together at the last minute, so she didn’t have to keep it to herself for long. She generally didn’t like to use her family name and money to pull strings, but in this case, she didn’t feel guilty. This was for Jane after all. A few calls and agreeing to pay extra fees for the last-minute booking and she had been able to reserve the Tavern for the evening. Of course, she had made sure that they weren’t ruining anyone else’s event; luckily the Tavern wasn’t previously booked for tonight.

“Hi, Maura,” Amy said as she walked up to Maura. “Thank you for helping us set this up. I think it turned out well, especially on such short notice.”

“No, thank you,” Maura said. “I just made a few calls. You, Kate, Claire, and everyone else did the hard work of getting everyone here.”

“It was a joint effort, so it wasn’t much work for any one person,” Amy said. “We’re going to miss Jane though. She’s been a great addition to our group.”

“I think she will miss you guys as well,” Maura told her.

“Well, you will have to invite us to the wedding,” Amy teased.

Maura laughed somewhat uncomfortably. Amy noticed Maura’s discomfort, so she changed the subject, “I’ve heard you’re a bit of a trivia buff. Any chance the two of you can join us for one more night of trivia on Wednesday evening?”

Maura smiled, relieved at the change of subject. “Yes, I would love that. Jane probably will, too.”

“Great!” Amy said.

Maura spent the next few hours meeting and talking to many of Jane’s friends. She was slightly disappointed that she wasn’t able to spend much time with Jane. Everyone wanted a chance to talk to her, so Jane was constantly being pulled away from Maura. Maura knew it was silly to be upset, though, since this was supposed to be a chance for Jane to spend time with her friends before leaving. She wasn’t upset with Jane or anyone in particular; she was just missing the contact with Jane. On the other hand, she was happy that Jane was so happy, and she appreciated that Jane made sure to check in on her as often as she could to make sure Maura wasn’t uncomfortable. Still watching Jane from afar, Maura went up to the bar to get a glass of water (she had stopped drinking a while ago so that she could drive them home). While she was waiting at the bar, someone walked up and took the seat next to her. She turned to greet the person who had joined her, but her mouth went dry when she recognized the man next to her.

“Hi, Dr. Isles,” Greg said.

“Hello, and please call me Maura,” Maura replied sticking out her hand to shake his.

“Okay, and I’m Greg,” he said, returning her handshake. “I can tell you recognize me.”

“Yes, I recognize you,” was all Maura could say.

“There wasn’t anything more between me and Jane, you know,” Greg said. “She’s always been in love with you.”

“She told me that,” Maura replied. Greg was the last person Maura wanted to talk with about this, but she didn’t know how to get out of the conversation politely.

“I just thought you should know that I was never your competition. Honestly, you’ve never had any competition.”

“Okay,” Maura said. “Thank you for letting me know.”

“I also know it isn’t my place to say this, but I don’t think anyone else will,” Greg continued. “I think you need to know how much your actions hurt her this year.”

“What?” Maura said in spite of herself.

“I know she made mistakes, too. She knows that, as well, and trust me, she beats herself up daily for it. But sometimes it seemed like you were flaunting your relationship with that doctor in her face. Like you were deliberately trying to hurt her.”

“I wasn’t,” Maura said, her voice shaking. “I would never hurt her on purpose.”

Greg shrugged. “I want to believe you. I’m just having a hard time understanding how you couldn’t see how she felt about you. It was obvious to everyone here and it’s my understanding that it was obvious to most of your friends and family back home.”

Maura stared at the glass of water in front of her. She was near tears, but she didn’t want Greg or anyone else here to know. Someone else had caught Greg’s attention on his other side, so Maura slipped away and went to the bathroom. It went against her upbringing to leave a conversation without a polite end to the conversation, but she couldn’t stay there a minute longer.

Luckily, there was no one in the bathroom when she got there. She locked the door behind her and double checked the stalls to make sure she was alone before bursting into tears. She hated herself in this moment. _How could she have been so blind to Jane’s feelings? She was supposed to be her best friend, the person who knew her better than anyone else. Yet, she was the only person who didn’t see the signs. Everything Jane did showed how she felt about Maura. Over the years, Jane had risked her job and her life to keep Maura safe; she had defended Maura from real and perceived threats; and she always put Maura’s feelings first. Even the things she had done over the past year that had hurt Maura had been in an attempt to do what was best for her – stepping aside to give Maura a chance to have a life with the person she supposedly loved._

Maura leaned against the sink, trying to get herself under control. She took deep breaths to relax herself. Eventually, she was able to calm down enough to wash the tears off her face and fix her makeup. She’d have to avoid Jane for a little while longer since she could always read Maura, but no one else would be able to tell Maura had been crying.

She returned to the bar and steered clear of Jane until she was sure the remnants of her breakdown had left her face.

At the end of the evening, Maura and Jane left the Tavern with the Claire. They thanked Claire again and said goodnight at her car before heading to their own.

“I’m driving,” Maura said as she grabbed the keys from Jane’s hand.

Jane laughed, “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.” Once they were on the road, Jane turned to Maura, “Thank you for tonight.”

Maura smiled, “You’re welcome. I’m glad you enjoyed yourself. Did we actually successfully surprise you?”

Jane laughed again, “Actually, yes. I can’t believe you guys were able to pull that off without me getting at least a little suspicious. I think I’m losing my detective skills.”

Maura joined her laughter. “It helps that we didn’t have to hide it for long,” she said. “It was a bit of a last-minute plan.”

“Did you actually want to go to that museum or was that all part of the ruse?” Jane asked.

“While I hadn’t planned to suggest going there otherwise, I really did want to visit the museum once I read about it. That made it _a lot_ easier to get you there.”

Jane chuckled, “I did enjoy the museum, and I loved the party, so thank you.”

“The party was actually Kate and Claire’s idea. I just helped find and book the location and get you there,” Maura told her.

“I’ll thank them again, too, but I know you well enough to know you’re being modest,” Jane said.

Maura didn’t say anything. Jane’s comment reminded her of her conversation earlier with Greg. They fell silent for the rest of the drive home. Jane was struggling to stay awake in the passenger seat, and Maura was lost in thought.

When they arrived home, Maura shook Jane awake, and they headed inside. Jane was so tired that she failed to notice that Maura’s mood had shifted from earlier in the day. She assumed her silence was due to fatigue. They quickly went through their night routines and climbed into bed together. Jane fell asleep almost instantly, but Maura laid awake for quite a while thinking about what Greg had said. _Did she even deserve Jane’s love? s_ he thought as she turned away from Jane and willed herself to fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to the guest commenter who suggested Tun Tavern as a location for the going-away party!


	16. Sunday Funday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in posting. With everything going on in the world, I had to move away from my angsty story for a while to write fluff. Then, I kind of thought people had lost interest, but since a few people have asked about this story recently, maybe I was wrong. Either way, I will definitely finish this story, but it may be slower than I’d like. Being my first story, it’s close to my heart, so I want to do it justice. Sorry!

_Sunday_

_Jane’s POV_

Jane rolled towards the middle of the bed and reached out for her girlfriend, but the other side of the bed was empty. Maura had only been there a week, but Jane had already gotten used to waking up next to her. She didn’t like waking up alone, and she instantly missed Maura. She crawled out of bed, making a quick stop in the bathroom to pee and brush her teeth. She found Maura sitting at the breakfast bar, dressed and ready for the day with her tablet and a coffee. Leaning over to kiss her girlfriend on the cheek, her voice hoarse from sleep, she said to Maura, “Good morning, love. Have you been up long?”

Maura stood up to get Jane a coffee. “About an hour,” Maura answered. “I didn’t want to wake you. I thought you might be tired after the party.”

“Thanks,” Jane said as Maura handed her a cup of coffee. “You could have woken me up. I like waking up next to you.”

“I like waking up next to you, too,” Maura replied as she returned to her seat next to Jane.

They sat in silence for a few minutes as Maura continued to scroll through the news on her tablet and they both enjoyed their morning coffee.

“What would you like to do today?” Jane asked once the caffeine had started to kick in and she was feeling more awake.

“There is a farmer’s market not far from here that is open until noon. I was thinking we could pick up some fresh fruits and vegetables for the week. I can plan the menu around what we find. Other than that, I don’t have much in mind.”

“That sounds good,” Jane said. “I’ll just take a quick shower and be ready soon.”

About 45 minutes later, Jane and Maura entered the farmer’s market. They both had been relatively quiet on the drive to the market. Jane was still tired from the night before, but she was starting to notice that something seemed off with Maura. As they walked among the stalls, she tried to pay better attention to Maura’s behavior and mood. By the third stall, Jane knew something wasn’t right when Maura picked up the same tomato three different times to check its ripeness. While Maura was paying for the vegetables she had selected, Jane looked around, finding a coffee shop just to the side of the market.

“Let’s get coffee,” Jane suggested, gesturing to the coffee shop when Maura was done paying. She took the bag of produce from Maura, offering to carry it.

“Okay,” Maura said, offering Jane a small smile, but Jane noticed that her smile didn’t reach her eyes.

Maura remained quiet while they waited in line at the coffee shop. As they exited with their coffee, Jane took Maura’s free hand in her own. Giving it a light squeeze, Jane asked, “Are you okay?”

“I’m just a bit tired,” Maura said, not turning to meet Jane’s gaze.

“Let’s sit,” Jane said softly, tugging at Maura’s hand to guide her to a nearby bench. “You seem more than tired, Maura. Talk to me.”

Maura continued staring off into the distance, feigning watching the people milling around the farmer’s market. She wasn’t sure what to say. She couldn’t lie and say everything was okay – Jane would know she was lying as soon as the hives appeared – but she wasn’t able to voice the truth either. How could she tell Jane that she felt like she didn’t deserve her? She knew that Jane would try to reassure her, would probably even insist that she – Jane – didn’t deserve Maura.

Maura was silent long enough for Jane to grow even more concerned. “Are you worried about Ian?” Jane guessed.

Maura shook her head. “No,” she answered honestly. She actually hadn’t even thought about him since their conversation with Angela Thursday evening. “Honestly, I think it’s just hitting me more and more how much I’ve missed you,” she whispered.

Jane wrapped her arm around Maura’s shoulders, pulling her close, and placing a soft kiss on the side of her head. “I’ve missed you, too,” Jane said into Maura’s hair.

Maura didn’t say anything as she tried to blink back tears, glad her face was mostly hidden from Jane, especially once Jane rested her cheek against Maura’s head. They stayed like that for a while longer before returning to the farmer’s market.

When they arrived home after lunch, Jane was still worried about Maura. Even with her confession about missing Jane, Jane was pretty sure Maura was still withholding something from her. She tried to make Maura laugh as they unpacked their purchases. Maura laughed, smiled, and responded to Jane, but Jane still noticed that Maura’s laughter didn’t last as long as usual. She noticed that Maura’s eyes didn’t twinkle like they normally did when she smiled, and she saw the sadness and anxiety in Maura’s features when Maura didn’t think Jane was looking.

“Should we do some more packing?” Maura asked as they finished putting everything away.

“No,” Jane said. “Let’s sit.” Jane took Maura’s hand and led her to the couch. Jane sat down on the couch, stretching her legs out along the length of the sofa before pulling Maura down to sit sideways on her lap, so that they could still look at each other’s faces. She wrapped her arms around Maura and gave her a soft kiss on the cheek. “Something’s wrong,” Jane stated.

“What?” Maura asked, concern and fear flooding her system as she misinterpreted Jane’s statement.

“There’s still something you’re not telling me,” Jane said. “I know you said you missed me, and I missed you too, but…” Jane trailed off when Maura’s gaze faltered at her words. “Why does it bother you when I say I missed you, too?” Jane knew she’d found the route of the issue when Maura closed her eyes at Jane’s question. Jane got the impression that Maura wanted to hide from the conversation. She started to worry Maura was going to run, but she hadn’t pulled away yet.

“I hate how much I hurt you,” Maura said, and Jane could hear the pain and vulnerability in her voice. Maura blinked quickly before looking up to the ceiling in a futile attempt to stop the tears from coming.

“Maura, we both hurt each other,” Jane said softly. “I thought we were going to try to move forward. I’m not saying we can’t talk about the past – I always want you to feel like you can talk to me about anything – but I don’t understand why you seem more upset now than when you first arrived.”

“It’s like I said earlier: I’m realizing more as time goes on how much I hurt you,” Maura replied. “My relationship with Ian hurt you. That was never my intention. I wasn’t trying to flaunt my relationship in front of you. I was so blind to your feelings that I didn’t even realize that my relationship bothered you. I knew you didn’t particularly like Ian, but I thought it was more about him, not about my relationship with him. How can I claim to be your best friend if I couldn’t see what was right in front of me? I’m supposed to know you better than anyone else – than _everyone_ else; yet, everyone else seemed to know your feelings while I was completely oblivious.”

“But Maura, that goes both ways,” Jane tried to assure her. “I didn’t realize you had feelings for me either even though everyone else thought it was obvious. We both seemed to be the last to know.”

Maura shook her head, tears streaming thickly down her face. “It’s not the same,” she said thickly. “I was in a relationship. While part of me, of course, wishes that you had still said something, the other part of me appreciates that you respected me enough not to try to sabotage my relationship.”

“You would do the same,” Jane said. “No, you _did_ do the same – I think, anyway. Can I ask you something?”

“Anything,” Maura said quietly, her eyes finally returning to Jane as she searched the other woman’s face in an attempt to understand where she was going with this.

Jane shifted uncomfortably. “When did you first know you had feelings for me – I mean, as more than a friend?”

Maura tilted her head in thought, the tears starting to slow. “I don’t think there was a single moment in time or a single event that led to some big epiphany. You were always different. No one else at any point in my life has come close to being as important to me as you are. In some ways, it was like that from the very beginning, but for a while, I was able to convince myself that it was just because I’ve never had a best friend before. The first time I even allowed myself to think about the possibility that my feelings weren’t strictly platonic was when you came to my house when Hoyt escaped, and you asked me if we were having a sleepover or if it was my way of telling you I was attracted to you. I mean, I was always attracted to you; there was no question about that, but that was the first time I asked myself if I wanted something more than friendship with you. I quickly dismissed the idea though. That doesn’t mean that I didn’t already love you, but I wasn’t ready to recognize it.

“Even though I always knew I wanted to find someone to spend the rest of my life with, I think part of me still believed that wasn’t a realistic possibility for me. Therefore, on some level, I considered romantic relationships to be temporary. Lovers had come and gone over the years, but I’d never lost a best friend. I’d never _had_ a best friend to lose, which was a major flaw in my thought patterns. I’m not trying to defend my thinking though, just explain it. Of course, after that the idea of something more than friendship with you came up – at least in my thoughts and dreams – every so often. The next time I really thought about it deeply was after Garrett was arrested for Adam’s murder. I spent a lot of time thinking about my reaction to your reaction to Garrett, if that makes sense.

“It was when I watched you shoot yourself, though, that I knew and fully admitted that my feelings for you weren’t just friendly and they weren’t just a crush. Sitting in your hospital room, I finally let myself say – even if just to myself – that I loved you, that I was in love with you, and that that wasn’t going to be temporary.”

Jane tightened her grip on Maura, feeling of guilt, affection, regret, and love swirling inside her. “Frankie says that’s when he knew that you were in love with me,” Jane said quietly. “He said he knew I was in love with you when I wore a unitard that said PUKE in public.” Maura laughed at that, and Jane realized that the feeling of Maura laughing in her arms was definitely among her favorite feelings. They had held each other, of course, but usually it had been in comfort or support. While they might have lied close to each other while watching movies, but they didn’t hold each other like this on occasions where laughter might happen.

“When did you know?” Maura asked.

“Honestly, I was pretty late to the game,” Jane admitted. “I can look back now – I’ve done that a lot over the past few years – and see that I was already in love with you back then. I mean, the way I reacted to Garrett and Ian wasn’t really normal for a best friend. I didn’t fully understand what I was feeling though until I realized I’d rather raise my baby with you than with Casey.

“Although, if anything should have told me how I felt about you, it was probably when I answered the phone ‘whatever you want, I can get it,’” Jane added. “Like I said, I was a bit slow in figuring it out. That doesn’t mean I didn’t love you a lot earlier than that. There are a lot of things that happened before the baby that when I think about them, I can’t believe I didn’t see how I felt then. Everything with Paddy and Hope probably should have clued me in, too.”

Maura sighed, closing her eyes as she tried to center herself, her fingers tracing idle patterns on Jane’s bare arm. “I’m not sure that this changes anything about how my actions over the past year hurt you,” she said.

“No, I know,” Jane said. “I was asking because I wanted to know if you…I, um…did my relationship with Casey hurt you like that? Did you feel the way I’ve felt over the last year when I was with Casey?”

A few additional tears escaped Maura’s eyes. She could feel Jane’s eyes on her as she stared straight ahead, not focusing on anything in particular. “I’m not sure it’s the same,” she said quietly. “You didn’t know how you felt about me when you were with Casey.”

“That’s not what I asked,” Jane said gently, recognizing Maura’s attempt to avoid the question. “I want to know how you felt.”

“Yes,” Maura finally admitted as she brought her hand up to wipe away the tears that had intensified with her confession.

“And yet, you did everything in your power to support me and my relationship with him because you wanted me to be happy. My point is how we’ve hurt, helped, neglected, or supported each other has gone both ways over the years. Just because your relationship with Ian was more recent doesn’t make you more at fault for how long it took us to get here. My hurt isn’t any more important than your hurt just because people have called you out on it.”

Maura nodded before shifted her body to get closer to Jane. She brought her legs up onto the couch and wrapped her arms around Jane so that she was laying mostly on top of Jane and slightly wedged between Jane’s body and the couch. She rested her head on Jane’s chest, reveling in the feeling of Jane’s heartbeat for a few moments before she spoke. “I still feel bad,” Maura admitted.

“I do, too,” Jane said softly, “and I don’t know if that guilt will ever fully go away, but I’m a firm believer that since we can’t change the past, we need to focus on the future.”

Maura nodded against Jane’s chest. They both fell silent, lost in their own thoughts about their relationship over the years, until they fell asleep wrapped in each other’s arms for an unplanned afternoon nap.


End file.
